Dont know how to start so ill just say it. lived in self imposed isolation due to a sickness in my preteen to my late teens where toz became literary my home, my life, my second voice due to the amount of materials i read. before toz, tried so many times to end myself almost succeeded a couple of times. started socializing in my early 20s, the few people i had i held to them like my life depended on them, was truthful, nice and appreciative to textbook accuracy. but all that did not help. got brutalized scorned gossiped. There was a year i did so well that my energy was at peak life started being bright even when i was broke, got the love of my life at that moment, We broke up. felt hurt to the point i had chest pains. almost lost my mind from that break up. had others again ended the same. unfortunately i went to drugs and alcohol. managed to make me sleep. i still feel broken. weak and the only thing i hear everywhere is man up, grow up. i have tried a lot to man up. the thought of living for 10 more years scares me literary. Life is getting ok yet interally never been closer to death. Am not asking anything, maybe a simple next life
Discussion
If you have thoughts or are still harming yourself, please seek help from a professional. Speaking to an expert in this field will help you more than asking for help online.
Social life depends on other people's intentions, and you experienced some "bad" aspects of them, like people gossiping or a breakup. These can happen, but they can be seen as lessons to strengthen our character and move forward in life. After these experiences, one starts learning more to distinguish quality people for your lifestyle, because some people may be good friends with me but not with you, or vice versa. Go out and explore the world. The more you interact with people, the more you will learn about them and how to handle them. Do sports, eat healthy, meditate every day, and ask the guidance of the Gods. Follow Maat and Zevists' ethics. Study your natal chart and understand what the placements may be giving you issues in the social sphere of existence, and do spiritual workings to fix these.
Ask Zeus Operator wrote:View source Am not asking anything, maybe a simple next life
Unfortunately, this is only up to us. We are here, and we can just fix bad habits and bad karma in this life. If we don't fix our issues in this life, they will not disappear in the next ones. Stay strong, Brother!
Active TranslatorGreetings brother,
I'm sorry to hear friendships and relationships you had did not work out. ''Man up'' advice probably has goodwill in it from someone who does not want to see you suffer more, or that's how I understand it. But it might be a little inconsiderate no matter the intention. We are social creatures and a lack of it is truly difficult.
It is too early to give up hoping for friendship and love. As long as you wish for it, you will find hope and opportunities. I found it to be impossible to live and not hope. There is someone I know, she lost her husband far too young soon after giving birth to their first child. During the funeral, it was the most heartbreaking thing to watch her trying to stop people from burying her husband. She was delirious and then she became a living ghost. Years later now, she found love again and looks happy.
You can love again as long as you live and there are people who are worth giving your love. There are true friends you need to give a chance to have a friendship. They are there, somewhere.