The Sun/Moon is in my 1st House.
I don't think I've sufferred any severe trauma in early life, however, I'd say I haven't really experienced much affection from other's. So, perhaps I don't know how to show it because I haven't properly received it. And thus learnt how to express my emotions. Although descriptions of me as a baby were the same, quite "stoic" disposition.
And I don't mind being this way necessarily, but everyone else seems to have a problem with it. They think I'm angry, or plotting against them, or hiding something etc... I've come to realise if you show no vulnerability or reveal intimate parts of you, people feel insecure around you, and start imagining up a fantasy of who you are.
I have a serious approach to life, and my controlled emotions allows me to remain detached, objective, and disciplined, optimising for strategic manouvering. But beneath the surface there is a flood of passion, I just feel disgusted with letting other's see it. And the subsequent "coldness" in my face scares people off to where I'm either abandoned or feared by them, causing me to lose opportunities and friendships abruptly, with no explanation. If they got to know me they'd describe me as warm and "kindhearted" but relations with others rarely get to this stage.
It's not that I want to change, but I want other's to be more willing to "tune into my frequency". Cos I think I'm pretty cool lol. But I don't know if this is an astrological problem or what.
It is possible that in your past life you were attacked or somehow experienced negativity for showing emotions, which may explain your disgust for showing it, which would only happen if you believed you had something to gain, subconsciously, by hiding the emotion rather than showing.
Because the Moon is in the 1st house, I think this is on display to others, so they are actually "viewing" you "hiding" the emotions directly. Since emotions go both ways, meaning that we all want to give and receive love and care, then someone else may believe you might hide this from them, like a one-sided interaction. That is my assumption here.
There is benefit to controlling emotions, but not to the extent that you are hurt for not showing them, which defeats the point. Furthermore, a lack of expression can lead to a build up of passion/emotion that would not exist if it was released at more frequent interviews.
My advice, aside from a Moon Square, would be to try simple statements such as telling others: "I feel [happy/bad/sad]", only pushing yourself a little beyond your boundary, but no need to elaborate to a full depth. Similarly, ask people how they feel, and in most cases you can respond with: "I understand." which is true, but you don't need to show the full depth just yet. Doing this could help build up comfort in this area.
Although you might feel frustrated by feeling forced to show vulnerabilities or feelings you would otherwise hide, there are benefits here. For example, if you did not share this problem with us, we would have had no idea or ability to discuss it with you.