The primary reason why I even register on this forum, despite it may sound incorrect of many registered users here, is because I actually I AM looking for the truth AND evidence, not just new belief system. There been several of my own experiences with supernatural; and many spiritualists, including adepts of the ToZ, had felt me or even talk with gods and they all told similar stories about me..
Ok.
However, few of ToZ adepts had interpreted the postulate about that anyone can talk with gods "only by themselves and not through anyone", and I strongly feel and believe that this is wrong and is falsehood; as "doing power meditation and talking with gods yourself" may end up delusing yourself and you could just talk with your own imagination, as from what I gathered so far that, unfortunatelly, each get their own unique experience. What chance is there that you'd get just absorbed by your own Ego and end up talking with yourself instead? And you end up hearing what exactly what you want to hear; or even more like, hear what you EXPECT to hear, as you end up talking to your own subconsciousness instead? It's like in dream, you're expecting something bad to happen and afraid that this is what exactly might happen even if you believe the chance of it is low, a few seconds later the EXACT same thing happened as you were afraid it could have happened, but with 100% chance of it happening as this is how our subconsciousness works..
Your concerns are valid. This is the reason that most people do not have their so called 'experiences' admitted, as simply because, many are on the level described here. The point however is to get past this level. There are also some people for whom this can take a very long time.
You do not really understand how the subconscious works. As for the self fulfilling prophecy, this is also a valid human mechanism.
None of the above dangers should keep someone, who is mature minded, and sane, from trying to communicate with the Gods. There has to be innate delusional character or personal flaws in the personality, that can cause deception, rather than the Gods. The obstacles exist in the given personalities, not in the process of communication. To reach a level of adept communication can take decades, or more. And this is the truth.
However, the Gods can guide and direct people through ways invisible and unknown to them, and there is no time limit for this, and also, this lowers the danger for deceptions.
This is why I have strong hope that if Gods really do exist, they would come to you and someone else and first thing they would tell you or them is that you shouldn't be afraid of me but actually give me a chance to listen. And what I really want to hope and believe in the most is that these Gods, once proven to be real to me, will show that they trully love me as the ToZ website would say, and least thing they want to me is to be in misery; and wouldn't afraid to tell me that even if through someone else if there is no other way possible of communications with me. I really want to have something more than just hope and belief, I want to have the TRUTH, and truth can be only be gathered by the experience.
You're trying to impose your own laws to the Gods and how they can approach or communicate, which is essentially, you falling into the same loop you warned earlier. You are engaging in your own understanding and trying to force the Gods to act in this spectrum. They can prove they are real in their own way, but one has to be open. Your own tendency to empiricism and observation is false. If we cannot see the Sun at night it doesn't mean the sun has disappeared or does not exist.
It's well known even in physics our very senses are very meek in judging the environment and what exists and what does not.
You do not have to believe in the Gods, nor hope in their communication. You just have to ask, be open, and let them guide you in the way appropriate to your own mind and consciousness.
Unlike the fake things like "Jesus Christ" and the related filth, they never answer billions. However everyone here, even the most skeptical, do get signals from the Gods, even those who have zero belief initially about their existence.
To tell the truth, I've been familiar with ToZ for quite some time, but I couldn't say this place did really bring me goodness in a long run as I've only met with egocentric assholes and dipshits who not only tried to curse me by mere of my photo, but did made my life insufferable; even though back in times I was just desperately looking for spiritualist friends who could at least talk with me on similar topics and similar hobbies, but it end up to be just exact opposite of that even though loneliness is the least thing I would complain about; despite the fact that in first few months I was fully enthusiastic, meditated the crapton and deal with pain and torture like something temporary, a challenge of struggle that eventually will go away for eternity.
You do not seem to seek any spiritual friends. You want other spiritual people to waste their time on your delusions, and in trying to convince you, and in being guinea pigs for you to observe, in your endless black hole type of disbelief. If you do not want to be in the ToZ, then you can leave. Nobody has to pay for your crap, and nobody asks you to believe. At best, the request is to have an open mind.
You also play the victim. I doubt anyone 'cursed' you unless you fucked up. As to the egocentric types, you could simply avoid association.
There are many ranges of 'spiritual' people, many of whom are jokes.
In the last few months of present time, the most thing I did is actually constantly meditating and pray for the true God of pure Love and compassion\understanding which I view Enki as, or pray in meditative state; even though my life was rough and bring me even more dissapointment and misery despite that;
I can see why you receive resentment, simply because, you're a pathological christian in the mind, without any true will to experience the spiritual, but rather, superimpose your own alien new age on the Gods, for which, they have no reason to waste time on. Your life is miserable because you suck and you force onto it and yourself an alien christian structure.
unfortunatelly so far it only gave me a few temporary hopes that just transformed in to a dissapointments that give me even bigger pain and hopelessness. To speak to the point, I'm just extremely desperate trying to find help and THE truth all the possible way I can, which is why I registered here to begin with, even though my introvert nature usually won't allow me to do something like that, as I just doing my hardest to help myself and contact with Gods; untill I hit a complete hopelessness and give up with spiritualism all along, even though my inner spirit would never stop wanting to strive for the pure truth and true spiritualism, freedom and love; and I would hate it...
You do not want truth at this point, all your post shows you just need consoling and loving kindness, which you don't even show to anyone in reality. You are on the level you complained about prior of absorption on the ego. And this is because you put communication with the Gods higher than meditation. And also since you are cowardly to devote yourself fully to an objective such as spiritual growth. All people experience hardship and your situation is nothing new.
I strongly believe that THE truth wouldn't put me through path of misery, agony, self-loathing and forcing me to do something against my nature\spirit\TRUEself, even if I forcefully will make myself willing it.
Wrong. Your own mind will decide if you will suck and experience all of the crap you do. Apparently for whatever reason it does what it does to you. And not any 'truth'.
THE TRUTH for me is something that inherently must pass from the materialism world toward\through my spirit, then to my consciousness; if my spirit rejects it, feels uncomfortable with it or even hate it and what it makes me to go through, then this is just cannot possible be the truth; not from reasonable, logical, esoterical, theological, and most definitelly not in spiritual point of view.
Again, you don't seek the truth, but you just seek to repeat your own theories about what it should be, or what it 'ideally' should be, based on lies and mainly a christian mindset. You cannot get anywhere with this, but only dive deeper in misery.
To be clear and honest here, I'd sure wish you could talk with Enki for me as I really hope he wouldn't say anything bad but gives me actual words for hope, but before that, a friendly conversation would be appreciated too...
Nobody should talk to "Enki" for you, simply because, you do not deserve it. If you are not willing to practice, advance, and peel yourself of the crap you're carrying, you cannot hope an end to misery or lack of understanding, and not any consoling words are going to change anything to you.
There isn't anything else for me to talk about on these forums and it took several days untill my posts finally got approved, so I believe judging person just by post amounts I'd say least is unfair. I would appreciate if you could try to feel me and who knows, maybe you could tell me similar story about me as many other spiritualists that I had luck to be contact with back in time.
On top of everything, you have a history with lots of charlatans, making your situation harder.
This is why conversation exist, you get to talk with person before jump to conclusion whether person is "enemy" or not, although I don't approve giving any person a nametag by mere talking a few times then giving any person a indelible stamp as it could be product of mere misunderstanding or cognitive disonance.
We do not have to converse with enemies. However since I believe there is an initial 'teaching value' to the public for your post and to show the never-ending loops of those who are without, I approved your message to answer it.
I also strongly believe that the truth fears no investigation nor doubting, so if Enk is trully our TRUE God, and trully LOVES us, and more over, understands and accepts us for who we are by nature, then he wouldn't be dissapointed, frustrated or annoyed by the fact if someone loses belief in him or even start to hate or loathe him for the experiences someone had to pass through.
Who are you to say how should he feel, or how should he take it? You're again making definitions.
Anyway as far as reality is concerned, yes, you can be lost, but you cannot at the same time demand that those who help you find yourself are pleased with it, or follow behind your ass to clean your pampers everytime you do crap, because you believe that backstabbing them is fundamental part of 'finding yourself'.
In fact, if someone gives him another chance, especially if someone been secretely still kept love and hope for him regardless of having hate and dissapointment toward him, for someone to claim to be the God that TRULLY understand and accepts us, let alone loves us, should definitelly looking for ways to prove his good-will toward said person and definitelly to prove to him his existance, even through someone else as all methods are good. Although sometimes, even to the most established theories like gravity, the scientists demand more evidence of it to determine what exactly it is, thus demanding more experience to know for certain.
The Gods are never angry or anything like that because one requests evidence. However, if you request something from a being of another nature, you have to compromise in how you will receive an answer. For example, I cannot from here, give you a pat in the back, so to say, so for you to constantly get back to me and ask me for a pat is stupid. Instead, you could relax with the demands, do your part, and allow the spiritual to reach in your senses in how it can, so to say.
Active Helper