Who do I ask?

[Fraroderini]

I am writing to you because I am very afraid of some actions committed in my childhood, and I am afraid that these could be an abuse.
I grew up realizing that I was a homosexual with seemingly bisexual tendencies.
Recently heard of cases of children being unknowingly abused by other children.
I'm afraid this was my case.

I have this friend that I've known since we were really little.
At a certain point - I think, unfortunately, that I started it all, as I'm homosexual today - around the age of 6 (maybe) we had this game where we touched each other's private parts and acquired "powers".
This friend of mine never said he was bothered by it, but of course kids are kids, what could he tell me?
He must have been 5 years old and it seems to me that sometimes - if I remember correctly - he played this game too.
Until one day his mother saw us while I put my hand down his pants.
I know because he then told me that his mother was annoyed by this and that she would tell my parents if she didn't stop.
From there I really think this game is over.

I don't remember how long it lasted, it seems to me just one summer, I really hope just one summer.
He and I never and never talked about it again.
Yet every time we met again he always wanted to interact with me, play with me, chat.
He is exclusively heterosexual and of this I am sure.

I got scared because a couple of years ago he told me that he hadn't been able to have sexual intercourse with a girl, he had difficulty getting aroused.
It never occurred to me at first.

Studying some notions of psychology, now I fear the worst.

Have I ruined his sex life?
Did I abuse him?
Maybe with that game I made him develop post-traumatic stress disorder and he will have problems approaching sexuality?
I'm so scared of this topic.
The more I hear about this "Child-on-Child-Abuse" the more I find myself thinking that I have traumatized him for life.
Besides, he's also younger than me! So maybe he was 5 or maybe even 4 years old?
I don't think so, and I can't think about it, I feel like a monster and I really feel like I deserve the worst.
Unfortunately now that we've grown up (I'm 19, he's 17) we don't talk so often and I'm really afraid it's his unconscious that tells him that I'm a danger.
Yet in all ten, eleven, twelve years later we have always played and always talked about something else without any problems.


He is a very pure person, he has thousands of interests, I feel like a monster, a beast, knowing that I may have abused him and I didn't know it.

I have always suffered a lot from my homosexuality, this orientation has always led me to have inner problems and to have sexual relations with which I have always been dissatisfied.
Now I know that this friend of mine is pursuing many interests, he is happy to talk to me if I call him, but I really fear the worst.


Lastly, he doesn't know that I'm homosexual.

If one day I decided to say it, he would immediately connect it to those episodes.
And he would hate me. Even if I was a child.

Again, somehow I know we were children and I am sure sometimes he asked me to do that game too.
But I am afraid of what is in his subconscious.
I am afraid I damaged it, and I don’t know how to be sure of what to believe or not.
If only I could fix this someway I would do EVERYTHING for him.

What do you think?

 

[existentialcrisis]

I am writing to you because I am very afraid of some actions committed in my childhood, and I am afraid that these could be an abuse.
I grew up realizing that I was a homosexual with seemingly bisexual tendencies.
Recently heard of cases of children being unknowingly abused by other children.
I'm afraid this was my case.

I have this friend that I've known since we were really little.
At a certain point - I think, unfortunately, that I started it all, as I'm homosexual today - around the age of 6 (maybe) we had this game where we touched each other's private parts and acquired "powers".
This friend of mine never said he was bothered by it, but of course kids are kids, what could he tell me?
He must have been 5 years old and it seems to me that sometimes - if I remember correctly - he played this game too.
Until one day his mother saw us while I put my hand down his pants.
I know because he then told me that his mother was annoyed by this and that she would tell my parents if she didn't stop.
From there I really think this game is over.

I don't remember how long it lasted, it seems to me just one summer, I really hope just one summer.
He and I never and never talked about it again.
Yet every time we met again he always wanted to interact with me, play with me, chat.
He is exclusively heterosexual and of this I am sure.

I got scared because a couple of years ago he told me that he hadn't been able to have sexual intercourse with a girl, he had difficulty getting aroused.
It never occurred to me at first.

Studying some notions of psychology, now I fear the worst.

Have I ruined his sex life?
Did I abuse him?
Maybe with that game I made him develop post-traumatic stress disorder and he will have problems approaching sexuality?
I'm so scared of this topic.
The more I hear about this "Child-on-Child-Abuse" the more I find myself thinking that I have traumatized him for life.
Besides, he's also younger than me! So maybe he was 5 or maybe even 4 years old?
I don't think so, and I can't think about it, I feel like a monster and I really feel like I deserve the worst.
Unfortunately now that we've grown up (I'm 19, he's 17) we don't talk so often and I'm really afraid it's his unconscious that tells him that I'm a danger.
Yet in all ten, eleven, twelve years later we have always played and always talked about something else without any problems.


He is a very pure person, he has thousands of interests, I feel like a monster, a beast, knowing that I may have abused him and I didn't know it.

I have always suffered a lot from my homosexuality, this orientation has always led me to have inner problems and to have sexual relations with which I have always been dissatisfied.
Now I know that this friend of mine is pursuing many interests, he is happy to talk to me if I call him, but I really fear the worst.


Lastly, he doesn't know that I'm homosexual.

If one day I decided to say it, he would immediately connect it to those episodes.
And he would hate me. Even if I was a child.

Again, somehow I know we were children and I am sure sometimes he asked me to do that game too.
But I am afraid of what is in his subconscious.
I am afraid I damaged it, and I don’t know how to be sure of what to believe or not.
If only I could fix this someway I would do EVERYTHING for him.

What do you think?

If he has a hard time being aroused by women then he is probably gay. If he doesn't know you're gay then you probably don't know that he is gay either, but he is more ashamed of it than you so he forces himself into hetero hookups to appear normal. Or he is simply unaware of it, possibly out of repression.

You were around 5 and so was he. This is too young to be aware or understanding of any consequences of what you do, and kids will be curious and experiment anyway. I think it's unlikely that boys will experiment with other boys if their souls are not inclined in that way.

If you truly consider him a friend then your gayness will become known to him eventually, otherwise you are living a lie and not being authentic to him. It sounds like you care about him and are emotionally intimate, as far as men can be. It seems sweet.

Maybe you can find a way to broach the topic gently or subtly. Maybe not starting with the childhood experience. But at least coming out to him. You could meet with him and friends and introduce your boyfriend or something.

I think it would be better for you to find a way to open up to him than to carry this guilt. Even if the friendship ends it could bring him awareness and help him heal, if this childhood experience affected him in some way. Or it could open his mind, or even bring you closer.

Again, you don't need to talk about what you did as kids off the bat or maybe even at all, but you can at least be who you are in front of him.

And besides, you turned out as bi, so it did not ruin your heterosexuality. So why would it ruin his and not yours? Food for thought.

 

[existentialcrisis]

I am writing to you because I am very afraid of some actions committed in my childhood, and I am afraid that these could be an abuse.
I grew up realizing that I was a homosexual with seemingly bisexual tendencies.
Recently heard of cases of children being unknowingly abused by other children.
I'm afraid this was my case.

I have this friend that I've known since we were really little.
At a certain point - I think, unfortunately, that I started it all, as I'm homosexual today - around the age of 6 (maybe) we had this game where we touched each other's private parts and acquired "powers".
This friend of mine never said he was bothered by it, but of course kids are kids, what could he tell me?
He must have been 5 years old and it seems to me that sometimes - if I remember correctly - he played this game too.
Until one day his mother saw us while I put my hand down his pants.
I know because he then told me that his mother was annoyed by this and that she would tell my parents if she didn't stop.
From there I really think this game is over.

I don't remember how long it lasted, it seems to me just one summer, I really hope just one summer.
He and I never and never talked about it again.
Yet every time we met again he always wanted to interact with me, play with me, chat.
He is exclusively heterosexual and of this I am sure.

I got scared because a couple of years ago he told me that he hadn't been able to have sexual intercourse with a girl, he had difficulty getting aroused.
It never occurred to me at first.

Studying some notions of psychology, now I fear the worst.

Have I ruined his sex life?
Did I abuse him?
Maybe with that game I made him develop post-traumatic stress disorder and he will have problems approaching sexuality?
I'm so scared of this topic.
The more I hear about this "Child-on-Child-Abuse" the more I find myself thinking that I have traumatized him for life.
Besides, he's also younger than me! So maybe he was 5 or maybe even 4 years old?
I don't think so, and I can't think about it, I feel like a monster and I really feel like I deserve the worst.
Unfortunately now that we've grown up (I'm 19, he's 17) we don't talk so often and I'm really afraid it's his unconscious that tells him that I'm a danger.
Yet in all ten, eleven, twelve years later we have always played and always talked about something else without any problems.


He is a very pure person, he has thousands of interests, I feel like a monster, a beast, knowing that I may have abused him and I didn't know it.

I have always suffered a lot from my homosexuality, this orientation has always led me to have inner problems and to have sexual relations with which I have always been dissatisfied.
Now I know that this friend of mine is pursuing many interests, he is happy to talk to me if I call him, but I really fear the worst.


Lastly, he doesn't know that I'm homosexual.

If one day I decided to say it, he would immediately connect it to those episodes.
And he would hate me. Even if I was a child.

Again, somehow I know we were children and I am sure sometimes he asked me to do that game too.
But I am afraid of what is in his subconscious.
I am afraid I damaged it, and I don’t know how to be sure of what to believe or not.
If only I could fix this someway I would do EVERYTHING for him.

What do you think?

Also...

I am completely heterosexual, but I once had a friend who was a little older than me who was gay(though he insisted he was bisexual, he only had 1 relationship with a female which he did not enjoy). We met as teens. Although it was platonic, I think I can really say that I loved him, and I still think of him and miss him sometimes. I believe that I lost this friendship because I was too closed off and wasn't being my truest self, out of fear, anxiety, shame and doubt and more. I even felt like he deserved a better friend than me. Or put another way, he didn't deserve someone like me. And I might have hurt him & our friendship through unconscious behaviors, which I felt bad about and wasn't able to be real about.

I don't have a point to make by saying this, but maybe you can relate somehow or see things in a different way, even if we don't have the same circumstances, or at least know where I'm coming from. I hope things work out for you in the best possible way.

 

[existentialcrisis]

I am writing to you because I am very afraid of some actions committed in my childhood, and I am afraid that these could be an abuse.
I grew up realizing that I was a homosexual with seemingly bisexual tendencies.
Recently heard of cases of children being unknowingly abused by other children.
I'm afraid this was my case.

I have this friend that I've known since we were really little.
At a certain point - I think, unfortunately, that I started it all, as I'm homosexual today - around the age of 6 (maybe) we had this game where we touched each other's private parts and acquired "powers".
This friend of mine never said he was bothered by it, but of course kids are kids, what could he tell me?
He must have been 5 years old and it seems to me that sometimes - if I remember correctly - he played this game too.
Until one day his mother saw us while I put my hand down his pants.
I know because he then told me that his mother was annoyed by this and that she would tell my parents if she didn't stop.
From there I really think this game is over.

I don't remember how long it lasted, it seems to me just one summer, I really hope just one summer.
He and I never and never talked about it again.
Yet every time we met again he always wanted to interact with me, play with me, chat.
He is exclusively heterosexual and of this I am sure.

I got scared because a couple of years ago he told me that he hadn't been able to have sexual intercourse with a girl, he had difficulty getting aroused.
It never occurred to me at first.

Studying some notions of psychology, now I fear the worst.

Have I ruined his sex life?
Did I abuse him?
Maybe with that game I made him develop post-traumatic stress disorder and he will have problems approaching sexuality?
I'm so scared of this topic.
The more I hear about this "Child-on-Child-Abuse" the more I find myself thinking that I have traumatized him for life.
Besides, he's also younger than me! So maybe he was 5 or maybe even 4 years old?
I don't think so, and I can't think about it, I feel like a monster and I really feel like I deserve the worst.
Unfortunately now that we've grown up (I'm 19, he's 17) we don't talk so often and I'm really afraid it's his unconscious that tells him that I'm a danger.
Yet in all ten, eleven, twelve years later we have always played and always talked about something else without any problems.


He is a very pure person, he has thousands of interests, I feel like a monster, a beast, knowing that I may have abused him and I didn't know it.

I have always suffered a lot from my homosexuality, this orientation has always led me to have inner problems and to have sexual relations with which I have always been dissatisfied.
Now I know that this friend of mine is pursuing many interests, he is happy to talk to me if I call him, but I really fear the worst.


Lastly, he doesn't know that I'm homosexual.

If one day I decided to say it, he would immediately connect it to those episodes.
And he would hate me. Even if I was a child.

Again, somehow I know we were children and I am sure sometimes he asked me to do that game too.
But I am afraid of what is in his subconscious.
I am afraid I damaged it, and I don’t know how to be sure of what to believe or not.
If only I could fix this someway I would do EVERYTHING for him.

What do you think?

PS, I think you are suffering needlessly on account of shame around your sexuality. There is nothing wrong with you if you are gay, it is only your nature, and you can't blame yourself for something that happened between two other people's intimate life 2 years ago, or for what happened out of childish ignorance 12 years ago(and which was put an end to and which was consensual).

Your friend still enjoys your company after all these years. He obviously doesn't hold anything against you, since he is happy to have you. It could never even cross his mind, or he could be reminded of it once in a great while but he understands it for what it was and the thought leaves his mind as quickly as it came. People also naturally grow apart as they enter different stages of life, it doesn't mean he is turning against you.

Maybe you're worrying about something that is not that significant in reality, but you hyperfocus on it and ruminate or even project onto him because of your own personal hangups and traumas. You should consider getting a therapist to help you unravel your hangups and learn how to counteract these thoughts, and heal yourself. You can also do healing workings for your friend if he truly seems to have problems. But take care of yourself first.

 

[Karnonnos]

You were six years old, he was five. You are medicalizing this too much, listening far too much to society's Victimhood Olympics hysterics and endless scolding on any subject imaginable. This only serves to make everyone resentful, paranoid and insane.

He had difficulty getting aroused with a girl so you automatically assume that's because you played doctor with him as a toddler? First of all, many teenage boys have problems getting it up on their first time, and if it was a few years ago he must've been 13-15 so that can also just be physical and mental immaturity too. Have also you considered the more likely explanation is that he suffers erectile dysfunction for virtually any other reason or maybe he's not that into girls?

Jews write endless tomes in psychiatry about this sort of thing, typical of their own sexual chaos holding a microscope to every little bit of minutiae and personal history, with the usual materialist communist X leads to Y thinking. Given Satanists know things can go way beyond the scope of that, it really is not necessarily how things work.

We are exiting a 2,000 year reign of darkness and unfathomable ignorance where people's souls collectively degenerated down to the lowest levels. In such a climate, considering past lives and what can be inscribed, many people don't automatically have the best habits with each other. Many people also live their lives via complete self deception. I suggest you try Past Life Meditation, meditate on what happened in this life via the same technique and maybe locate where this came from.

The majority of problems people experience are because they are bound up in their own personal karma, make stupid decisions and on top of the other two can be subjected to heavy curses by jews.

If you care for your friend, give him an aura of protection, then do a protective FRTR to blot out the jewish letters from his aura or something genuine without expecting anything in return.