I'll try to be the more concise i can. I've been meditating since 2015, give or take. On the physical plane, the effects of the Meditations are unquestionable, i can do things that years ago i didn't even believe was possible. I was even picked to be the "head" of some pretty heavy rituals i've done with other Satanists who live around my town (Satan spoke to one of them and told her to do so, i wasn't choosed by them) and being 25, while the other guys were in their 40s, kinda made me feel proud. I'm not telling this out of cockiness 
what i wanted to say is, to this day, in regard to the astral plane, i feel like a total beginner. I know people who aren't even Satanists and had way more experience on the astral than me. I almost feel as i'm "banned" from it, for lack of a better world. Here's what happened to me, more than a few times.
I was meditating, in that state while you're almost sleeping, and i felt my entire body spinning, it was so strange that it actually scared me. It was like someone was literally grabbing my soul out of my body, and i always resisted, waking up and getting out of bed, shaking...Then one time, i felt the same "spinning" thing, but i guess i fell asleep, because i had one of the worst nightmare ever. Long story short, i was trapped inside an apartment, and there was this gang/cult of people (they were all dressed the same) breaking in. And when they did, two of them kept me still on the ground, while another one pressed a knife in my stomach, near to my groin. I remember actually feeling the pain and screaming, like if it was real. Then everything turned black, and i heard this creepy voice saying "Next time i'm coming to kill you, M(my name). I woke up and that part of my stomach hurt me for two or three days.
Was that what they call "alien abduction"? Because the pain i felt was defintely real. And more importantly, i would like to work on the ability to travel on the astral plane (even though i have pretty much PTSD from all this "awakening" situation and i feel my mind would fucking explode if i try to open it more too quickly). Maybe some of you had similar experiences, i don't know. I feel like my mind had been through a lot in the last 5/6 years, but it's kind of embarassing that i can do so little on the astral plane...should i just way it out a little, or is it really, REALLY important that i open myself more to such dimensions? I feel so confused about it...
what i wanted to say is, to this day, in regard to the astral plane, i feel like a total beginner. I know people who aren't even Satanists and had way more experience on the astral than me. I almost feel as i'm "banned" from it, for lack of a better world. Here's what happened to me, more than a few times.I was meditating, in that state while you're almost sleeping, and i felt my entire body spinning, it was so strange that it actually scared me. It was like someone was literally grabbing my soul out of my body, and i always resisted, waking up and getting out of bed, shaking...Then one time, i felt the same "spinning" thing, but i guess i fell asleep, because i had one of the worst nightmare ever. Long story short, i was trapped inside an apartment, and there was this gang/cult of people (they were all dressed the same) breaking in. And when they did, two of them kept me still on the ground, while another one pressed a knife in my stomach, near to my groin. I remember actually feeling the pain and screaming, like if it was real. Then everything turned black, and i heard this creepy voice saying "Next time i'm coming to kill you, M(my name). I woke up and that part of my stomach hurt me for two or three days.
Was that what they call "alien abduction"? Because the pain i felt was defintely real. And more importantly, i would like to work on the ability to travel on the astral plane (even though i have pretty much PTSD from all this "awakening" situation and i feel my mind would fucking explode if i try to open it more too quickly). Maybe some of you had similar experiences, i don't know. I feel like my mind had been through a lot in the last 5/6 years, but it's kind of embarassing that i can do so little on the astral plane...should i just way it out a little, or is it really, REALLY important that i open myself more to such dimensions? I feel so confused about it...
