Catalincata94
Member
- Joined
- Sep 23, 2017
- Messages
- 863
I'm writing this because i feel to and because i got rid of the idea that i'm a "schizophrenic" (2 months ago)
and now i feel much more powerful but i still have something thats still nagging me, i will talk about it after i talked about what happend in the last 2 months.
So in september i quit the treatment for schizophrenia and anxiety and now the most important thing is that i'm not having anxiety and also that i started meditating. In september when i decidet to get rid of the medication (i was terified of what could happen that the voices may reapear and i may kill myself because of them, and i had to get up and be courageous) i didn't wanted to start meditating only after a longer period of time because thoughts about not being able to vizualize the white light (just a very little) and also that i can't make the mental falling effect (in full effect but now i'm better) for the trance all because of the treatement that i was for 2 years also i didn't wanted to meditate until my brain will heal itself first from all the meds then i can meditate because i thought i can't stand it if i can't vizualize the light in a right way and the falling effect and bullshits like that.
Now a week back the anxiety started to be again and slowly increasing, i didn't know why is it happening that i'm having anxiety but now two days back i realized why i'm having anxiety (i didn't meditated, i just started 2 days before i realized why im having anxiety) so when i realized, it was night i wanted to go to sleep and i had to do my meditation cleaning the aura and i said to my self something like i'm a little tired now i will make it tomorrow morning so then after a few minutes i started having anxiety again but now i couldn't sleep because of it and then i got thought's that i should do it and then i can sleep, then after a few minutes i couldn't stand the anxiety and i changed my mind and did my cleaning (i didn't thought that it will do something) and then suprisingly the anxiety disappeared and could sleep, so this way i know now that doing the meditations daily is very important and i hope that others (the newbies) will understand this.
Now about the "schizophrenia" also a question for my brothers and sisters. when i decided to get rid of the meds i was terified about what could happen to me like the voices will convince me to kill myself but now i'm hearing them and a day back they convinced me to talk to them again (all this because i didn't really ignored them because i thought or supposed from the beginning that they are the Gods) but now i ignore them so yesterday i talked to them and after talking about how i'm doing and friendly chatting i felt like i could't stop talking to them like they always want me to talk about something with them and then i asked if they would stop talking to me so much (they said no) because i feel than i can't stop talking to them and that they always interfere with what i think and reply to it and that makes me crazy and then got something that they may not be who i think they are and asked something ... i forgot what i asked but i think it was about what they want from me and they replied that they want me dead (they admitted even before that they are the enemies and that they want me dead) but also they keep telling me they are our Gods, sometimes i don't know what to believe so maybe you guys could tell me o.o
I believe they are created in my mind from an inner turmoil or they are the enemies because they always want me to trust them and then tell me to kill myself, hoodedcobra666 said that there are people harassed by the enemies because they have opened a door somewhere and in my case could be because i was in the new age before i dedicated myself.
I didn't said that they mostly try to frighten me with things like when i think about how to get rid of the enemies they say "you are not going to succeed in getting rid of us"
and other stuff but can't remember now... or "your memory won't get better we will make sure of that".
So what's nagging me is that i coudn't figured it out if the voices that talk to me are enemies or it is just an inner turmoil thing that on the successfulschizophrenia.org talks about on the page "A Special Message for Families and Friends of Someone Diagnosed as Having Schizophrenia"... on that website i found out that many other got over this "schizophrenia" thing and they know it is not an illness.
So if the voices are the enemies then this way as hoodedcobra666 said i will be free of them "The only way to defeat this is to stick to the Gods, tune that filth out, and engage in Satanic meditation. Satanic meditation will detach you from these parasitic entities in time. The attention to them must be cut completely." https://www.ancient-forums.com/viewtopic.php?t=2346
and now i feel much more powerful but i still have something thats still nagging me, i will talk about it after i talked about what happend in the last 2 months.
So in september i quit the treatment for schizophrenia and anxiety and now the most important thing is that i'm not having anxiety and also that i started meditating. In september when i decidet to get rid of the medication (i was terified of what could happen that the voices may reapear and i may kill myself because of them, and i had to get up and be courageous) i didn't wanted to start meditating only after a longer period of time because thoughts about not being able to vizualize the white light (just a very little) and also that i can't make the mental falling effect (in full effect but now i'm better) for the trance all because of the treatement that i was for 2 years also i didn't wanted to meditate until my brain will heal itself first from all the meds then i can meditate because i thought i can't stand it if i can't vizualize the light in a right way and the falling effect and bullshits like that.
Now a week back the anxiety started to be again and slowly increasing, i didn't know why is it happening that i'm having anxiety but now two days back i realized why i'm having anxiety (i didn't meditated, i just started 2 days before i realized why im having anxiety) so when i realized, it was night i wanted to go to sleep and i had to do my meditation cleaning the aura and i said to my self something like i'm a little tired now i will make it tomorrow morning so then after a few minutes i started having anxiety again but now i couldn't sleep because of it and then i got thought's that i should do it and then i can sleep, then after a few minutes i couldn't stand the anxiety and i changed my mind and did my cleaning (i didn't thought that it will do something) and then suprisingly the anxiety disappeared and could sleep, so this way i know now that doing the meditations daily is very important and i hope that others (the newbies) will understand this.
Now about the "schizophrenia" also a question for my brothers and sisters. when i decided to get rid of the meds i was terified about what could happen to me like the voices will convince me to kill myself but now i'm hearing them and a day back they convinced me to talk to them again (all this because i didn't really ignored them because i thought or supposed from the beginning that they are the Gods) but now i ignore them so yesterday i talked to them and after talking about how i'm doing and friendly chatting i felt like i could't stop talking to them like they always want me to talk about something with them and then i asked if they would stop talking to me so much (they said no) because i feel than i can't stop talking to them and that they always interfere with what i think and reply to it and that makes me crazy and then got something that they may not be who i think they are and asked something ... i forgot what i asked but i think it was about what they want from me and they replied that they want me dead (they admitted even before that they are the enemies and that they want me dead) but also they keep telling me they are our Gods, sometimes i don't know what to believe so maybe you guys could tell me o.o
I believe they are created in my mind from an inner turmoil or they are the enemies because they always want me to trust them and then tell me to kill myself, hoodedcobra666 said that there are people harassed by the enemies because they have opened a door somewhere and in my case could be because i was in the new age before i dedicated myself.
I didn't said that they mostly try to frighten me with things like when i think about how to get rid of the enemies they say "you are not going to succeed in getting rid of us"
and other stuff but can't remember now... or "your memory won't get better we will make sure of that".
So what's nagging me is that i coudn't figured it out if the voices that talk to me are enemies or it is just an inner turmoil thing that on the successfulschizophrenia.org talks about on the page "A Special Message for Families and Friends of Someone Diagnosed as Having Schizophrenia"... on that website i found out that many other got over this "schizophrenia" thing and they know it is not an illness.
So if the voices are the enemies then this way as hoodedcobra666 said i will be free of them "The only way to defeat this is to stick to the Gods, tune that filth out, and engage in Satanic meditation. Satanic meditation will detach you from these parasitic entities in time. The attention to them must be cut completely." https://www.ancient-forums.com/viewtopic.php?t=2346
