Why am I not the best version of myself?

[MercuryWisdom]

I’ve discovered the JoS about 8 years ago. When I was in my very early teenage-hood years.

Since then, I’ve only been trying..
But amounting to nothing..

Sometimes I feel something’s seriously wrong with me.

I don’t know how to describe it best.
But I feel like I never amount to anything of substance.

Best I can do is try, but the ending is the same it seems?

I don’t know how I can be a good person, a wise and advanced SS, an ultra-successful entrepreneur, a fit, strong and healthy man.

I feel like I’m nothing, knowing I can be everything.

This hurts me deeply often, then I try again, and I fail again.

Is something wrong with me? Will I ever succeed? Or is this just a pipe dream and I’m actually as worthless as my mind used to tell me?

 

[Hypatia]

I’ve discovered the JoS about 8 years ago. When I was in my very early teenage-hood years.

Since then, I’ve only been trying..
But amounting to nothing..

Sometimes I feel something’s seriously wrong with me.

I don’t know how to describe it best.
But I feel like I never amount to anything of substance.

Best I can do is try, but the ending is the same it seems?

I don’t know how I can be a good person, a wise and advanced SS, an ultra-successful entrepreneur, a fit, strong and healthy man.

I feel like I’m nothing, knowing I can be everything.

This hurts me deeply often, then I try again, and I fail again.

Is something wrong with me? Will I ever succeed? Or is this just a pipe dream and I’m actually as worthless as my mind used to tell me?

Ana dilim İngilizce değil, bu nedenle cevabımda yazım hataları yaptıysam özür dilerim

Feeling worthless or getting stuck in a cycle of failure are very common and familiar emotions. However, remember, these are temporary feelings and do not fully reflect your reality. Deep inside, you know that you can achieve and become more, which shows that you have the potential to grow and develop further. It may take time to reach your goals, but the fact that it takes time is not a problem. In the process of development, every step brings you closer to gaining more experience, more knowledge, and, most importantly, becoming a stronger person.

Failures are actually some of our most valuable teachers. They help you find the right path and deepen our personal growth. Asking questions about how to become a "better" or "more developed" person is actually a sign that you’ve already made progress. These questions reflect your desire to create a better version of yourself.

And no, you are not worthless or a failure. The wise answers you provided help others, and this certainly doesn’t make you worthless. On the contrary, contributing to others demonstrates and showcases your value and potential. Feeling worthless is just an illusion. The truth is that your contributions and efforts are incredibly valuable.

 

[serpentwalker666]

I’ve discovered the JoS about 8 years ago. When I was in my very early teenage-hood years.

Since then, I’ve only been trying..
But amounting to nothing..

Sometimes I feel something’s seriously wrong with me.

I don’t know how to describe it best.
But I feel like I never amount to anything of substance.

Best I can do is try, but the ending is the same it seems?

I don’t know how I can be a good person, a wise and advanced SS, an ultra-successful entrepreneur, a fit, strong and healthy man.

I feel like I’m nothing, knowing I can be everything.

This hurts me deeply often, then I try again, and I fail again.

Is something wrong with me? Will I ever succeed? Or is this just a pipe dream and I’m actually as worthless as my mind used to tell me?

The time this process takes varies, and you need to be positive about all of this. I will share some of what I have dealt with and how this relates strongly to what you describe.

Despite quite a bit of years in the path, I have tried many, many times at alot of things. Failed alot of times more then I won. Succeeded in some ways.

The same concept and approach applies to basically everything. Especially with being an entrepreneur. I have observed multiple businesses and business models and paid close attention and worked really hard as an employee. Yet, I still am not a successful entrepreneur and have to find my nitch.

One job I crawled around on the wet ground in the cold like a worm, saturated in dirty water from janitorial work, failed some opportunities, worked until my hands literally bled everywhere and I walked away.... still was broke, and nothing to show for it materially.

From there, I spent 4 months grinding out code and applying to computer programming jobs. Sent out hundreds and hundreds of applications. Nothing, and I had to just take the soul crushing defeat after years of building myself up as a self taught Linux Sys-Admin and Computer Engineer. Still take it now, and I have to walk and fight it until someone eventually hires me, while working regular jobs in manufacturing, and planning some endeavors and entrepreneurial pursuits.

Mind you now... this was also combined with alot of wealth and career workings. I had to take the L, all part of the process sometimes.

The good news though? All this struggling and suffering provided me with the knowledge and confidence to move forward in approaching these endeavors and not giving up no matter what happens.

The answer here is you absolutely need to drop this mindset and these doubts. It's alright within reason to doubt, but you must affirm and understand that yes, you absolutely are going to succeed.

This is not a pipe dream insofar that progress is actually made. There is times in my life I've had to just work the job and completely set my dreams and plans aside for a period of time, this is normal and sometimes once we pick it back up in a month or two or a longer period of time, we find we have learned so much through study and experience we didn't know at the time, so then we can apply this to the entrepreneurial path for example.

Be strong in yourself, set things into motion, work hard and never give up and you'll sooner or later succeed.

 

[serpentwalker666]

Just keep walking the path and you will have everything you are after. Never give up and keep fighting no matter what happens.

 

[nema]

If you did RTRs you are a Hero in a world of semi-automatic crazy people, you literally saved the world.That's the definition of Success now that we have less work to do you can focus more on other things, i guess.. but to think you're worthless? Defintely not worthless.

 

[Umun]

Try listening to the new seminar on self confidence if you haven't already.

In these years you've surely made some progress. Look at your situation as realistically as you can. It's practically impossible to be in the same place as before.

You are still young and that's an important factor to consider while evaluating yourself.

How much of what you learned here are you applying in your life and how? Be patient with yourself and a bit more positive in thoughts.

Fight, conquer the mind and persevere. The result is guaranteed to come. When? Well it depends on how much work you put in and many other things.

Chin up and carry on.

 

[GoldenxChild1]

Have you read this series by Joy of Satan Guardian, Power of Justice?

I think it is highly relevant to how you feel.

The Subconscious Mind And Its Role In Manifesting Our Reality

This post was inspired by High Priest Hooded Cobra’s sermons on Why You Must Never Give Up In Life As A Spiritual Satanist and About Our Parents - Healing Parental Problems. They have infinite depth and value to one who understands the workings of the mind. I see so many people struggling and...

ancient-forums.com

Go into his bio after you are done this one.

 

[SeguaceDiSatanas]

But I feel like I never amount to anything of substance.

Hmm I don't want to give you a general answer. I don't think that's the helpful thing. But to give you a precise answer for your specific case I would need to at least know something. What you wrote is vague. Can you describe in more detail what processing you performed, how you performed it, and what the feedback was? Thank you.

 

[WiseDragon]

One thing that I learned is that advice can only help so much, but it's all up to you in the end. No advice, no teaching, no realization will apply your will for you. You just have to consistently do what you have to do, it's that simple. The reason you're not where you want to be is because you're not willing to be disciplined, and you just have to change that. You must do what it takes to get there, every day. Action over words.

Now, one thing that I feel the need to warn you about, and particularly to young men in your situation, being in the prime of their life but lacking energy, ambition, willpower and luck, is to take into serious consideration excessive sexual activity, not just sex, but also masturbation. This must be moderated, as its effects are very damaging. Many people these days think that it's just the porn that causes these problems in young men, but excessive semen release is just brutal for men's health.

Nature has its laws, and those who engage excessively with sex, have a very steep price to pay. Semen contains tons of nutrients and proteins, it requires a very long process to be produced by the body, and it's been common knowledge for thousands of years that excessive wastage significantly makes one weaker all around. It makes one lazy, weak, confused, dumber and worse in every way. Spiritual energy is also released during sexual activity, the yogis who warn against this aren't just saying nonsense. Sure, one can argue that they are extreme in their ways, but there is an undeniable correlation between sexual excess and lower Vril levels. My own personal experience showed me this very clearly.

Therefore, there must be more balance. I do agree with German Occultist Karl Brandler-Pracht when he suggests that males who are interested in advancing spiritually and becoming capable individuals should not engage with sex or masturbation more than one time every 4/5 days. Once every day isn't 'balance' at all in my opinion, it's just excess, sure we're all different, but for most people the energy expenditure is just too much.

These are my opinions that stem from my own research and experience. Everybody is free to disagree.

 

[coffee]

I clicked this thread because I had recently been nagging myself about same sort of question. "Why can't I stay in my discipline?". I frustrate myself cyclicly and become overwhelmed and defeatist at any sense of failure, which is quick, as I am very much a bitter, cynical person deep down.

It sounds like your core belief is "destined to fail". It's hard to change that with mere willpower, but if you can manage to *remember to be kind to yourself* consistently, you will find yourself wanting to take the actions needed to reach your goals rather than feeling like you're dragging yourself through them.

We are probably very different people but I can sense you won't give up. Even if you want to sometimes. Keep Satan close to you. I recommend early morning meditation; it has been my lifesaver and sets a trajectory of gratitude, which makes the whole perseverance thing not only easy but enjoyable. You really just have to succeed long enough to give yourself credit, start by being grateful to yourself that you're reaching out to your community for help. That takes a lot.

Also, take care of your gut health.

Satan be with you.

 

[WoadWarrior]

I'm going to be honest, and this is just my opinion I feel as though way too many Satanists begin witchcraft way too early, they try and do workings to try and massively modify their life but with no real power to pull them off, this leads to disappointment and confusion and often times a pathological doubting of their abilities even as they do start developing which can further weaken their future workings.

I can't say this happened to you but my best advice would be this, learn to love the journey, stop focusing on the destination, the doing is the purpose, learn to love meditating, start studying energy and mantras like Darwin would alien lifeforms, turn it into your passion and yes make it a job, but a job you like, like being an artist.

Also don't mistake weakness for power, the feeling of a strong chakra and the feeling of a blocked chakra surrounded by strong chakras is actually very similar and I myself fell into that trap. You may have glaring weaknesses you havent yet solved, go back to the basics and make sure your foundation is solid.

 

[xlnt]

Since then, I’ve only been trying..
But amounting to nothing..

Trying what exactly?

Most people haven't even tried meditation or asanas. Or they try once and then quit when no instant miracle happens.
But consistent practice will bring consistent Joy and the realization of life itself being the miracle.
That's what JoS has meant for me at least, and I don't think it should be considered as "nothing".