What should I do

[Darwin]

HAIL SATAN!

First of all sorry for my bad english, I'm from Italy.
I'm dedicated since 2 months and as I said to Father, living with my parents I don't have any kind of privacy. I can't do rituals because I don't have a place to work, so I talk to Father daily hoping he could listen to me. I'm struggling with the meditation and I am under attack by the grays since I was 12. In the dedication ritual I asked for protection and 3 days after I was no longer under attack. I did another demand to Father, I asked to comeback with my previus girlfriend, at her home and now I'm writing from here, her home. But we're just friends and I'm fine with that. The problem is my big love is comeback. I love her by 2 years. She is the girl that I loved most of all ande she comeback asking me questions about Satan and the Truth. That was a dream come true. She's taking her time but understand that her way is the way of Father, and I'm helpin her. The problem is I'm really in love with her. She knows the situation and she act like she is my girlfriend but she already has a boyfriend. A truly xstian boyfriend (so sick). She is confused but she loves him and from me wants only to be best friends. I think her comeback is a "gift" to me by Father. He saw deply in my soul that I love her so much... Me and her, 2 satanists in love. That is my dream, but at the moment she's like my sister. What should I do? Can I ask to live with her forever in love? How can I do that? Obviusly I'm not a satanist only for aske the love of this girl but I'm really confused and I can't find a solution by myself. Saturday we have the opportunity to do a kind of ritual. I don't have athame, bell, and other equipment. Only a blue candle and a container to burn letters to Father. She want ask some questions to Father so I thinked she could write and than burn on the candle like a pray or request in a normal ritual. It is right do that? Even if she's not dedicated?
I cry every day 'cause I love her so much... Father can't feel my pain inside... I ask her love every time but I don't have any answer or signal... What I should do? She's so important to my serenity.

 

[starmithril]

Congratulations on your dedication. You are not alone in dealing with the Greys. Lots of us have to deal with them on a daily basis. I am glad to hear the attacks have ceased. It is good that you are praying to Father. He is very understanding on our situation, when we cannot do rituals. Have you considered doing rituals on the astral?

http://www.angelfire.com/empire/serpent ... emple.html

It is just as valid as if you do in the physical world. Plus, it helps you become stronger on the astral, and it helps your psychic senses. If your parents let you, you can light some candles and incense and just meditate too, have you started doing the Power Meditations? They are the foundation of Spiritual Satanism. It's very important for us to empower ourselves.

http://www.angelfire.com/empire/serpentis666/Aware.html

I am happy to hear that you are reunited with your loved one. I think the reunion is definitely a gift from Father Satan.
I know you love her so much it hurts (I know the feeling but I recommend nourishing and growing the relationship. Take your time, take it slow. She will come to you of her own will and accord. Don't pressure her. She will come to Father Satan if she feels it's the right thing.
I think it's pretty awesome that she's asking questions and learning. Have you shown her www.exposingchristianity.com ?
It is also a good way to see the lies of xianity. Has she read the JoS website? www.joyofsatan.org
Then she can learn for herself and see if it's the right thing for her.

If you want to do a ritual, just writing out your prayer (yourself) and then burning it in the candle, and putting it in a container, that's good too. That's how I started, before I got the rest of my ritual tools.
But rituals, are our time with Father Satan and the Gods. If you can do it at her house, that's cool. It's up to both of you if she wants to sit and watch. But it would be a good idea not to disturb you if you are meditating. Better yet, she can join in and meditate too, and just see what the ritual is all about. It might resonate with her. It's great to be able to share this with her.
You can start doing standard/thanksgiving rituals with her, and get her involved, so she knows what Satanism is about.

http://www.angelfire.com/empire/serpent ... TUALS.html

It's a good idea to write out the steps and invocation, and follow along, so you don't forget in the middle of the ritual. That helps me a great deal. =)

Good luck, and welcome to the family. Hail Satan!

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "Darwin" <darwin.capitanio@... wrote:

HAIL SATAN!

First of all sorry for my bad english, I'm from Italy.
I'm dedicated since 2 months and as I said to Father, living with my parents I don't have any kind of privacy. I can't do rituals because I don't have a place to work, so I talk to Father daily hoping he could listen to me. I'm struggling with the meditation and I am under attack by the grays since I was 12. In the dedication ritual I asked for protection and 3 days after I was no longer under attack. I did another demand to Father, I asked to comeback with my previus girlfriend, at her home and now I'm writing from here, her home. But we're just friends and I'm fine with that. The problem is my big love is comeback. I love her by 2 years. She is the girl that I loved most of all ande she comeback asking me questions about Satan and the Truth. That was a dream come true. She's taking her time but understand that her way is the way of Father, and I'm helpin her. The problem is I'm really in love with her. She knows the situation and she act like she is my girlfriend but she already has a boyfriend. A truly xstian boyfriend (so sick). She is confused but she loves him and from me wants only to be best friends. I think her comeback is a "gift" to me by Father. He saw deply in my soul that I love her so much... Me and her, 2 satanists in love. That is my dream, but at the moment she's like my sister. What should I do? Can I ask to live with her forever in love? How can I do that? Obviusly I'm not a satanist only for aske the love of this girl but I'm really confused and I can't find a solution by myself. Saturday we have the opportunity to do a kind of ritual. I don't have athame, bell, and other equipment. Only a blue candle and a container to burn letters to Father. She want ask some questions to Father so I thinked she could write and than burn on the candle like a pray or request in a normal ritual. It is right do that? Even if she's not dedicated?
I cry every day 'cause I love her so much... Father can't feel my pain inside... I ask her love every time but I don't have any answer or signal... What I should do? She's so important to my serenity.