I've been messaging a fellow Satanist about the things that occurred to me every since I was little and there are only a few things she could answer for me, I hope that anyone with the same experience could help me in a way.
Ever since I was young, I was fascinated by the occult and around 5 years old, I started reading ghost stories then listened intently to people who claimed to have other worldly experiences. When I was around 5-6th grade, I had internet access and read more which gave me a somewhat obsession.
Since I am born into the Catholic faith, you could imagine what I had to go through which at times I felt off, after leaving the church or any holy location, I'd feel drain sometimes I'd get headaches escalating to migraines then when I recite prayers, my throat literally constricts making it hard for me to say anything without croaking. Odd tingly sensations that pulls my arm to go to a certain direction , which happens often when I'm at school.
It's hard living under a Catholic roof and I have to be 'expected' to participate in the holy art thou commitments. It's just a few days ago I felt general unease in the air and I felt as if someone is constantly watching me and it was somewhat oppressing but when I started using the JoS site just earlier today, it seemed to lighten up.
I could conclude a few things since I stopped going to church even praying, heck, I only do those things so it will appease my Catholic strict granny. When my train of thoughts started going to the general direction of being a Dedicated One, the air or at least the feeling of it seemed content almost as if it was smug and not only that I noticed things started happening, the alley tabby cat that I've always liked, entered my house then kept rubbing against me and bumping his head on my upper arm, I was siting on the floor, bumping his head on my thighs and purring. Not only that, the telephone rang and I heard static but two audible ticks before I freaked and put it down, I was not happy with the telephone one.
Odd coincidences like the occasional hot/cold spots and someone lightly patting my head, do you think my Demon Guardian really wanted to communicate or something else? I have a question, there was an incident not too long ago, a few months to be exact, I woke up with six scratches on my upper arm and I had to memory of it. I cut my nails so it's not even that sharp, I read that angelic possession causes memory lapses, is that a possibility?
If you have the same experiences, can you help me understand what I'm going through?
