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Unable to meditate, unable to do Ritual, life in shambles.

Artisan2 min to read

Hello,

I wanted to ask for some advice on improving self discipline and willpower. See, I've been in a rut for the past year and a half where I am unable to continue anything for an extended period of time. It's like a sufficating pressure comes out of nowhere trying to prevent me from doing something, the longer I continue to do the thing and the more I push against this pressure the stronger it gets.

I currently have some self-hypnosis which I plan to do for this issue. However, I was wondering if there's anything else you all may know that could assist me through this. I have been trying to handle this on my own for almost two years now. But, I know that I should reach out and ask for help when I need it, and honestly, I should have asked for assistance earlier.

I'm just ashamed I can't even complete a simple meditation schedule. I've restarted the 40 day so many times. I have finished the 40 day in the past and even reached a level of spiritual advancement where I could influence others and bring about events with just my thoughts. So, it's not like I can't do it, because I've done it before, and I know I can, but, I can't seem to overcome this sufficating feeling.

In the past I tied myself to a really nefarious individual through lots of sex and other things, and, I'm pretty positive that this sufficating pressure is as a result of that series of stupid decisions I made, however, without getting rid of this suffication I can't even do the main three meditations for long, let alone a runic working to detach myself from this individual.

Any advice is appreciated. I can't even tell you how angry, upset, and overall just fucked up that I can't bring myself to do simple things. I care for the Gods so fucking much and it brings me to tears out of fucking frustration that I can't seem to do anything to show this love for them. I fucking want to destroy the enemy so badly, I want to advance, I want all these things so bad I would fucking kill for them.

Thank you ahead of time for your responses.

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#20
This is the targeted message.
Artisansaid:

...

Artisan, listen to my advice as well.

Stay here and don't take a break from the forum again.

Just engage in conversation on subjects you know about regularly, so you do not isolate yourself since that doesn't really help you.

No need for any shame or self blame like this.

Isolating away from the forum as you feel like doing now is a flight reaction from the mind caused by the anxiety for the failure you experienced, like wanting to hide from the forum because one feels like they cannot face the people here due to the difficulties one has now.

In this case, taking flight isn't going to help you.

Just stuck around and be present, and understand that we don't really blame you, or I do not, and neither do the Gods, for the difficulties you deal with now.

Everyone is on different levels and has their own struggles. People may and will judge, but mostly we here want to see each other succeed, so rather than judge or look down on a person we want to see them pick themselves up and want to encourage people to take steps to grow.

You've already taken great steps in facing this by realizing and acknowledging the difficulties, now you need to have the courage to own up to it and set yourself free.

You have the tendency to think too much, and let your mind overwhelm you, combined with a tendency to excessively blame the self for things you've done in the past, or for struggling with things that you later perceive as pathetic or stupid things to struggle with.

Act, don't think, and do not punish yourself for having experienced failures or being unable to realize earlier how past decisions still haunted you, etc.

Keep your head up and move forward, even if the step you take is a mere shuffle of the toes.

Feeling angry with yourself and directing this anger on yourself, doesn't help you at all.

Instead, return your focus to the necessary act that you need to focus on in the present, and detach from the past mistakes you've made.

Excessive emotion here only serves to distract, it too is a form of escape that doesn't lead anywhere, so let it go and acknowledge that the past is no longer part of your present, detach fully from the influence it has over you.

Don't get hung up on things, they happened and that never changes. What matters is what you are able to do in the present so your future course breaks away from the past failures and mistakes.

Lastly, understand that it is human to make mistakes. The Gods do not blame or punish one for these kinds of things.

The consequence of a mistake is the punishment, the Gods never add blame on top of this, unless one is an enemy and actively turned against them, but even here there are levels as the Gods have tolerance beyond human comprehension.

Some things may have been bad but been done out of good intentions, or out of ignorance, perhaps due to immaturity. The intent in the heart and ones inner self are more important to them than the fleeting mistakes a person may make, in the end they just want to see you improve and rise above failure rather than crawl in the swamp.

None of the mistakes and difficulties you face are anything damning, certainly the Gods do not blame you for any of it.

Therefore, why blame yourself when even they do not blame you?

Do what you need to do now without resenting yourself for anything.

HAIL ZEUS!

Hail Zeus Forever!
- Voice of Enki [NG]

The Temple. Temple of Zeus

Powerful Theurgic Divine Rituals. https://tozrituals.org
Exclusive Server for Zevists. VultusTemplorum

Email for personal inquiry. [email protected]

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#21
VoiceofEnkisaid:
Artisansaid:

...

Artisan, listen to my advice as well.

Stay here and don't take a break from the forum again.

You're right. Thank you. I understand.

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#22
Blitzkreig [JGsaid:

" post_id=301776 time=1638406574 user_id=21286]

Artisansaid:

...

Detach now while the moon is in scorpio and waning.

Please can you give me examples of using a Mars square for positive material goals.. Cos I can just so much of non physical stuffs here like violence, fever energy, unlike other squares where I can pin point material ways to use them. Thank you

HAIL ZEUS ♾️
HP ZEVIOS IS THE GREATEST OF ALL TIME! GREAT TEACHER WITH BIGGEST HEART FOR THIS FAMILY!
HAIL ZEUS!

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#23
Manofsatansaid:

Please can you give me examples of using a Mars square for positive material goals.. Cos I can just so much of non physical stuffs here like violence, fever energy, unlike other squares where I can pin point material ways to use them. Thank you

Please read this thread for a better answer: https://www.ancient-forums.com/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=67876&p=323264#p323264

There are not many good material uses for Mars, compared to its spiritual uses. Mars is not just about fighting, but more like action and raw energy, also vitality and sexuality. Like with the Sun, everyone could use more energy to do what they want to do. This is what Mars is good at, especially in Capricorn.

For more on this, read the linked thread. If you must use a material square, then that would be useful for increasing your success with the listed careers, gaining sexual partners, success in fighting or competitions.

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#24
Blitzkreig [JGsaid:

" post_id=323266 time=1644385354 user_id=21286]

Manofsatansaid:

Please can you give me examples of using a Mars square for positive material goals.. Cos I can just so much of non physical stuffs here like violence, fever energy, unlike other squares where I can pin point material ways to use them. Thank you

Please read this thread for a better answer: https://www.ancient-forums.com/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=67876&p=323264#p323264

Thank you. I now clearly understand it's nature

HAIL ZEUS ♾️
HP ZEVIOS IS THE GREATEST OF ALL TIME! GREAT TEACHER WITH BIGGEST HEART FOR THIS FAMILY!
HAIL ZEUS!

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