I get it, but my anger and discomfort is to the point I just can't. I don't lash out or take it out on them, I just leave them be. I can't fake-pretend I'm happy to be around them or that I belong because I'm not and I don't. If it feels like a forced interaction, I won't do it. What's the point of it, if it doesn't bring me joy? I shouldn't be forced to be around people I don't like, and I honestly don't like my family. Even as a child I never felt like I belonged... I always knew I was different but didn't know how. As an adult, I'm beginning to understand and the reasons are fairly serious.