Hello.
I can do magick but it seems to only work when Im in a psychotic break? When I say magick, I mean high level stuff. Its just that when im in these states im often in a lot of stress, overstimulated and it tends to disrupt my life a lot in terms of being "compatible with society", if thats makes sense? It drives me *actual crazy*, in the sense of being dysfunctional.
Im not a zevist. The whole religion thing doesnt appeal to me at all, but im convinced this community at least used to have advanced people here. I havent been here in awhile, but I assume this is still true.
If I can figure out how to do magick without going psycho, theres a lot of opportunities available to me. I just dont have anyone I know to talk to about this. Ive gotten hints from dreams and such, but the *gods* seem to largly leave me to figure it out myself.
The issue is that Im trying to start a new career at the same time also, and it feels like Im being stretched too thin between these paths. Do you think I need to solely commit to just one thing right now?
When im in the right mindset, rituals work within hours. Ive blown out light bulbs by sending energy to them, Ive astral projected to people and messed with their devices without even being consciously aware of it, Ive had people get beaten up physically when they annoyed me. My power hasnt been used in the best ways, but I want to learn to use it more reliably and for the right reasons. I want to make the world a better place.
If anyone has any ideas, lmk. Thx.