I did the dedication ritual in blood about a month ago. Those first 3 days i hardly slept ate and did much of anything except study father satan and the goetic demons and read almost every last drop of info on the joy of satan homepage. i did power meditations until i got physically sick. i was completely obsessed with my new spiritual path.
after the first week though i began to question if what i was following was the truth. in the past i was a christian albeit a confused one. so the doctrine about making sure what you believe is the truth has sorta been drilled into me very hard. of course i know that christianity isnt true, etc, i found way WAYYY to many obvious things about it that were screwed up to convince me it was a massive joke. but what im getting at is i ended up questioning spiritual satanism and the while theory about the nephilim and the aliens creating religion to distract humans and all that stuff. it all makes perfect sense when i used my head and reason about it, but since satan stresses using reason (at least this is what i read on joyofsatan) i began to reason about where the info came from, who got the info. how did i know someone didnt just make it all up? etc. i even began to dabble in druidism again and other various neopaganisms, etc, mainly bc my love for nature is massive.
so its been almost 2 or 3 weeks now since ive done anythign regarding satan bc i was using reasoning to figure out just how true what i was getting into was, but now i have been reassured that satanism IS the truth.
but does satan still accept me? does he understand that i was merely using reason? i read once that satan will never leave you unless you do like a reverse dedication and then he leaves you for good. i also read that he wont help those who dont study and remain diligent. but will he understand though that ive simply been making sure about everything?
