Heath Perkins
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- Joined
- Oct 21, 2002
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Damn it, I forgot to add to that other message. That "priestess" of that so called goddess , I also had ended up with feelings for her, she said at first she did have feelings for me, but she said she was emotionally tied to someone else etc. It confused me, this girl ok she basically lived in Norweigh, and was talking to some guy in Netherlands, what irritated me about it was, she believed in traditon of the "pagan/faery folk" she is not wiccan either. But yeah she is 22 yrs old and so this christmas she went there, to lose her virginity to this guy she never met offline! And he didnt want a relationship with her, he made it clear. so she was till hanging on. So what happened was after a while when I told her off, I was fed up with bs. She responded VERY cruelly to me and told me I should find someone who does 'love' me or whatever implying she she took everything she told me back. Yeah I use to be easily manipulated by people due to my scattered brain of discovering my condition. But bcause of all of this built up over time. I think it could be a one of the reasons why I dreamed of Astaroth because i was fearful and ignored "her" or pushed her back. I wanted nothing, but I do not hate, so in my dreams all I can think of, it was a gentle nudge or a gentler approach. ? Even though my dream mean nothing. But i would be surprised if she was a Guardian Demonness because she would be the last one I expected to be.
On Monday, June 16, 2014 8:28 AM, Heath Perkins <lucifers_new_aeon@... wrote:
Yeah I dont know what her connection is with me. I never had anything to do with her before, the only thing I had to do with her, was was the fact originally I had fears of her , due to reading her myths and how she treated her lovers as Inanna. But these were interpreted and written by human beings, so I could be wrong, i do recall when I did do ritual, when I called on her, i felt that "fear" built up. I think or i dont know, maybe my fear attracted her somehow? I was psychologcally damaged and abused of to why that could be so.
When i use to be a pagan or whatever I believed in this celtic goddess "morrighan" I thought perhaps her and Astaroth were one and the same? Then I dismissed the idea, I thought i had a "intimate" relationship with this so called goddess named Morrighan and I am not really comfortable sharing that past (for getting ridiculed), so first of off, due to my gullibility and unwareness, ignorance. this girl claiming to be a demon-via soul eater (someone who drinksblood like a vampire) she knew how to fuck with people's mind, she manipulated me, and put me on a emotional rollar coaster. I was used for "pleasure" and someone on the "side". Her energy though was HORRIBLE, very chaotic and among things like. So when I told her i wanted an equal relationship she dumped me etc. Then I was so furious, and I got fed up with ALL women and goddesses, I really was going to shut the door on such. I got hurt one too many times and all the women I met seemed to be the same. So then I met this other girl who claimed to be some priestess of Morrighan and "channelled" her , claiming that Morrigan was in love with me etc. once again I was gullible. Yeah sure i tried a relationship with this goddess but , everytime I felt "her" around, through this so called priestess, I felt my fears and insecurities magnified when i read her myths and read how many people were saying she was the same as AStaroth,etc. I got psychic attacked a lot, i had frequent nightmares and what really freakd me out is when i opened up my "heart" to her , i immediately felt a block in my chakras. I was freaking OUT..... and then i couldnt handle it anymore. That is when I knew she was not a real goddess and one of those enemies who was trying to stop me.
From what I read that Astaroth or any of the Demons, i dont know they will harass someone who is without, but i dont know about attackingg? I never really was against Satan or any of his demons? But because of the damage that was done to me (oh and that priestess also claimed she was married to Lucifer..) i was so open to attacks and suggestions i became terrified of Lucifer or any of the Demons, but i did not become christian or run to the enemy. And just last week, I couldnt deal with it anymore, I got the courage to swallow my fears and have a talk with the real Lucifer. So far it seems like I am doing better in a mental place. Now for astaroth, there are still some fears I need sorting out. I still hurt over it...
On Monday, June 16, 2014 2:58 AM, "Light Yagami tapapakiastinseira@... [JoyofSatan666]" <[email protected] wrote:
Dreams do mean something most of the times. You could do a google search for "dream interpretation" if you dream of a certain thing that intrigued you. Dreams could also be an image of the future.Are you sure you're not connected to Astaroth in any way? She could either be your Guardian Demoness, or maybe she could help you in some way (you'll need to figure that out on your own; see her characteristics, what she's specialized in etc).
Στις 7:22 π.μ. Δευτέρα, 16 Ιουνίου 2014, ο/η "mancunianninja@... [JoyofSatan666]" <[email protected] έγραψε:
Sometimes they mean something, other times they are attacks by enemies.
It is really up to how you interpret them yourself. Your subconscious dreams in symbolism.
Different symbols have different meaning for everyone. A cat might mean stealthy to me, but it might mean to cuddle for you haha
So it is up to how you interpret it yourself
On Monday, June 16, 2014 8:28 AM, Heath Perkins <lucifers_new_aeon@... wrote:
Yeah I dont know what her connection is with me. I never had anything to do with her before, the only thing I had to do with her, was was the fact originally I had fears of her , due to reading her myths and how she treated her lovers as Inanna. But these were interpreted and written by human beings, so I could be wrong, i do recall when I did do ritual, when I called on her, i felt that "fear" built up. I think or i dont know, maybe my fear attracted her somehow? I was psychologcally damaged and abused of to why that could be so.
When i use to be a pagan or whatever I believed in this celtic goddess "morrighan" I thought perhaps her and Astaroth were one and the same? Then I dismissed the idea, I thought i had a "intimate" relationship with this so called goddess named Morrighan and I am not really comfortable sharing that past (for getting ridiculed), so first of off, due to my gullibility and unwareness, ignorance. this girl claiming to be a demon-via soul eater (someone who drinksblood like a vampire) she knew how to fuck with people's mind, she manipulated me, and put me on a emotional rollar coaster. I was used for "pleasure" and someone on the "side". Her energy though was HORRIBLE, very chaotic and among things like. So when I told her i wanted an equal relationship she dumped me etc. Then I was so furious, and I got fed up with ALL women and goddesses, I really was going to shut the door on such. I got hurt one too many times and all the women I met seemed to be the same. So then I met this other girl who claimed to be some priestess of Morrighan and "channelled" her , claiming that Morrigan was in love with me etc. once again I was gullible. Yeah sure i tried a relationship with this goddess but , everytime I felt "her" around, through this so called priestess, I felt my fears and insecurities magnified when i read her myths and read how many people were saying she was the same as AStaroth,etc. I got psychic attacked a lot, i had frequent nightmares and what really freakd me out is when i opened up my "heart" to her , i immediately felt a block in my chakras. I was freaking OUT..... and then i couldnt handle it anymore. That is when I knew she was not a real goddess and one of those enemies who was trying to stop me.
From what I read that Astaroth or any of the Demons, i dont know they will harass someone who is without, but i dont know about attackingg? I never really was against Satan or any of his demons? But because of the damage that was done to me (oh and that priestess also claimed she was married to Lucifer..) i was so open to attacks and suggestions i became terrified of Lucifer or any of the Demons, but i did not become christian or run to the enemy. And just last week, I couldnt deal with it anymore, I got the courage to swallow my fears and have a talk with the real Lucifer. So far it seems like I am doing better in a mental place. Now for astaroth, there are still some fears I need sorting out. I still hurt over it...
On Monday, June 16, 2014 2:58 AM, "Light Yagami tapapakiastinseira@... [JoyofSatan666]" <[email protected] wrote:
Dreams do mean something most of the times. You could do a google search for "dream interpretation" if you dream of a certain thing that intrigued you. Dreams could also be an image of the future.Are you sure you're not connected to Astaroth in any way? She could either be your Guardian Demoness, or maybe she could help you in some way (you'll need to figure that out on your own; see her characteristics, what she's specialized in etc).
Στις 7:22 π.μ. Δευτέρα, 16 Ιουνίου 2014, ο/η "mancunianninja@... [JoyofSatan666]" <[email protected] έγραψε:
Sometimes they mean something, other times they are attacks by enemies.
It is really up to how you interpret them yourself. Your subconscious dreams in symbolism.
Different symbols have different meaning for everyone. A cat might mean stealthy to me, but it might mean to cuddle for you haha
So it is up to how you interpret it yourself
