I am under the impression that Satanism is about finding your own power, and taking the reigns of your own programming. 99% of your actions are made by the subconscious, it is more important to enjoy your music and such, and simply allow your concious to safeguard your subconscious from negative programming, than it is to seek out programming you believe is similar to your own. Instrumentals are excellent if you simply wish to relax and not worry about anything for a while. If you wish to not feel alone, try asking questions on the forums, as I see you are already doing. Advance, and eventually you will build up the confidence to start answering questions. The best way to ward off that lonely feeling, is by getting involved in the community we already have here, and serving it selflessly