Question #5771: Sexual fantasies about the Gods

[AskSatanOperator]

Hello everybody, I want advice on this issue im having, that is causing me some shame.

For the past couple of years, i have been experiencing that when i feel sexual or am masturbating or looking at porn... the names of the Gods pop into my head for some reason. it is very involuntary and it cause me distress when it happens.
Eventually, some months ago it kept getting worse and worse, to where I came to a realization that I "feel that way" ... towards the Gods.

I have to confess that unforstunately, i have given in to these fantasies in the form of masturbation and looking at blasphemous porn.
There's this AI chatbot webste ive been addicted to recently, and it has chatbots themed after our Gods, and part of me was tempted to interact with them, but I decided not to, cause I was too afraid.
A lot of the time im constantly fighting these fantasies, its like theyre bubbling just under the surface. Some weird or sexual thought will start to form in my head, and I immediately try to snuff it out, because i get scared of even thinking blasphemous thoughts.
i think part of me doesnt wanna change, but i know that things shoudltn be taken lightly, and that there could be bad consequences.

This had given me a lot of shame and regret. im scared and i dont want to do blasphemous stuff or think blasphemous stuff. im scared of what might happen as a consequence.
Am i blowing things out of proportion? Am I right in feeling afraid?

I am planning on doing RTR in order to atone. what else can i do to atone and to help the situation?
Thanks.

 

[Henu the Great]

Find a healthy alternative as an sexual outlet.

 

[kaelgr]

To improve your sexuality, stop watching porn, powerfully purify your sacral chakra, do not suppress your sexuality in an unhealthy way. If you feel ready for this, find a partner.

The more you obsess over involuntary thoughts, the more they can proliferate. Do void meditation to manage your thoughts.

 

[Ĥl·lĥæ]

Thinking involuntarily is one thing, but giving in is something completely different.
You have to increase your awareness by doing a meditation that specializes in increasing your level of awareness.

 

[AFODO]

This is because of porn. Stop watching it.