Problems making a meditation program and STICKING to it..

[exarkuun1991]

I am not one with as much focus and self-awareness as I truly need. I've been trying to advance myself, got myself a servitor helping me out alongside my succubus(don't talk to my guardian as much, as he is always busy). But, I've not been able to really focus or set aside time daily to meditate.
I have the time. I play a good bit of games, and yes I do take breaks occassionally and meditate a bit. At least relax and contemplate how well I am doing in the games..but I don't usually set aside more than a few minutes every couple of hours or so.
I am rambling again, so tired I'm not thinking clearly. Essentially I would like advice on making a routine, something I am not ashamed to admit, I suck at. Routines are just nasty little ruts of time we make..as bad as playing video games all day, really. 
Bit more info, whenever I try to work on meditating, I can kinda "feel" my subconscious going, "Nah, you don't need to work on that", despite quite clearly needing to. It's been this way for as long as I can remember.
What should I do? I'm just confused. I would ask my guardian, I know they are there for us, but I HATE interrupting people..I wouldn't want it done to me, so I don't do it to others. Maybe I don't consider myself important enough to meditate or talk to my guardian, I'm not sure..
I have decided, I want to become immortal. I know I want to do it. Everything in my natal chart supports me in ascending this lifetime, assuming nothing stupid happens. I want to fix a problem that's existed for a long time now. I need help, only a bit ashamed to admit it, but I need to make progress. And, no, I don't pick games over meditation; any attempts at meditating lead me away from it, thinking I don't need it.

 

[call_me_something_else]

This reads like you've answered your own question.

"...I have the time. I play a good bit of games, and yes I do take breaks occassionally and meditate a bit...."

 

[nicknesredna]

Try a Munka working for at least one period of 40 days:

"I'm permanently and completely free from everything preventing me from meditating and developing my soul and mind with my full potential".

You also need to work on your solar and sacral chakras. I suggest planetary squares for both. When you manage to get up and away from the computer and are ready to take care of yourself and our world, start the spiritual warfare training program. Balancing your elements should help you.

 

[exarkuun1991]

Those breaks inbetween games are not long at all, and I am usually doing stuff also. As for munkas, I will have to begin those soon. It says from full to new is the waning phase, and that will be around next weekend (weekend of the 26th). Good, because it should help me complete itself, as I will gradually have less and less standing in my way. And, I will have freedom to finally make a rosary! I've been around for years, yet I kept making excuses.. So, how different are munkas from planetary squares? The squares empower, whereas munkas remove bindings and limitations?