Hello, I’ve gathered the courage to write this post. For as long as I can remember, I’ve considered myself spiritually open. I came to "Zevism" [Satanism/the path of the Gods] through a Ouija board; I used to play with it because I felt lonely. I experienced a lot of bullying, which caused me to withdraw into myself. I felt a need to learn more about "demons," which led me to question Christianity, and somehow, I ended up discovering this path. I’ve had experiences that felt like attacks—episodes of sleep paralysis, for instance—and when I was a child, I would catch glimpses of things in the mirror for a split second; I lived in a constant state of fear. After my dedication, I felt safer, though for one week I had recurring dreams that someone was watching me intently from behind a door. Over time, I’ve tended to avoid relationships with other people. Following my dedication, light bulbs would flicker, and I could sense a presence beside me. Later, in high school, I saw a blue silhouette for a few seconds, and once, while walking through the house, a blue sphere appeared out of nowhere, moving like a flash of lightning. Also, when I close my eyes, I see vibrant purple and yellow light. I feel that I’ve received many clear signs that the Gods are by my side. However, I’ve lived a miserable life, and I feel as though I’ve become dependent on communicating with the Gods—I talk to them constantly. At the same time, I feel that I’ve avoided getting a boyfriend, making friends, or holding a proper job (though I am working now). I used to always say that I only wanted to be with my guardian God, and I even fell into delusions regarding the idea of being a succubus. I’m not proud of this; at one point, when I experienced these things, I even started to feel like I was going crazy. I forgot to mention that when I practiced meditation, I began to see moving lines and hear a humming sound whenever I sensed [entities/presences] near me. I don’t want to hear anything about psychiatrists—I know that some signs are considered "legitimate" [indicators of mental illness], but I strongly question whether I actually made those kinds of mistakes. I feel that I’ve come to understand this—along with the rituals I performed and the fact that I listened to HPZM. I just want to rebuild my life in peace. This whole mess lasted nearly a decade. On top of that, I developed a form of OCD due to the stress surrounding Christianity; I constantly felt that if I said the wrong thing, I would upset someone. How can I use meditation to help me get past this period? I am aware that I made mistakes, I want to change that, and I want to take a practical approach . I want to evolve ,I don’t want to lose myself or the zevism
Workings Please help me
Ask Zeus Operator3 min to readHello. I have read your entire post and you had a lot going on and there also seems to be some confusion about what you experienced. Before anything just wanted to clarify that Zevism / the path of the Gods is not the same as "Satanism". Satanism in general has a lot more to do with Christianity in the way "Satan" is portrayed as antithetic to the Christian "God". As it can be seen on our website the doctrines of Zevism predate any association with Christianity or subsequently, Zevism and is a separate religion entirely.
What happened in my personal opinion is that you was simply overwhelmed by the amount of new information that you found, and depending on the shock this can definitely reverberate in dreams and other areas. In regards to seeing colors when you close your eyes, this can happen especially if you have been working on your clairvoyance centers, so I would say that is not necessarily a controversy. As about the "succubus", this is a major confusion because the idea of Gods and Daemons engaging in erotic experiences with humans is grossly exaggerated and definitely not realistic, the Gods are far more complex Beings than most people can imagine. Talking with the Gods can also be useful if is also done in an useful way, where you can formally request to be guided to solutions that will help you in fixing the issues you are experiencing.
I would say that you may need more balance between physical and spiritual, and more grounding in the real world, as you pointed out yourself that at one point you avoided social interactions, having a partner etc. So that is definitely one area where can start focusing in more if you haven't already: excel at your job, have a social life, aim to find a partner or start a family, perhaps find a hobby, Meditation wise, Aura of protection is recommended for everyone and done daily over the years will definitely help in terms of general protection from negative energies that we naturally interact with daily through communication with other people and streams of information. Other than this, it may be better to not focus much on spirituality for a certain period of time, at least until you will ensure that you have stabilized mentally and that you do not experience anymore the issues that you have described.
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Hello. I have read your entire post and you had a lot going on and there also seems to be some confusion about what you experienced. Before anything just wanted to clarify that Zevism / the path of the Gods is not the same as "Satanism". Satanism in general has a lot more to do with Christianity in the way "Satan" is portrayed as antithetic to the Christian "God". As it can be seen on our website the doctrines of Zevism predate any association with Christianity or subsequently, Zevism and is a separate religion entirely.
What happened in my personal opinion is that you was simply overwhelmed by the amount of new information that you found, and depending on the shock this can definitely reverberate in dreams and other areas. In regards to seeing colors when you close your eyes, this can happen especially if you have been working on your clairvoyance centers, so I would say that is not necessarily a controversy. As about the "succubus", this is a major confusion because the idea of Gods and Daemons engaging in erotic experiences with humans is grossly exaggerated and definitely not realistic, the Gods are far more complex Beings than most people can imagine. Talking with the Gods can also be useful if is also done in an useful way, where you can formally request to be guided to solutions that will help you in fixing the issues you are experiencing.
I would say that you may need more balance between physical and spiritual, and more grounding in the real world, as you pointed out yourself that at one point you avoided social interactions, having a partner etc. So that is definitely one area where can start focusing in more if you haven't already: excel at your job, have a social life, aim to find a partner or start a family, perhaps find a hobby, Meditation wise, Aura of protection is recommended for everyone and done daily over the years will definitely help in terms of general protection from negative energies that we naturally interact with daily through communication with other people and streams of information. Other than this, it may be better to not focus much on spirituality for a certain period of time, at least until you will ensure that you have stabilized mentally and that you do not experience anymore the issues that you have described.