Need Urgent Assistance Involving Focus, Meditation, and Father.

[zombiestourniquet]

I would like to start off by saying that I am diagnosed with multiple problems, some which include depression, delusional disorder, derealization, and depersonalization. In this, I have trouble focusing. (Also, please excuse me for ranting, and keep in mind that I am new. I just dedicated my soul to Father yesterday. With that being said, I feel a lot of relief upon doing so. Life already is brighter, but I am still in great distress.) The problem is mostly focus. I lack the proper ability to focus at all, and don't know what to do. I need guidance, and badly.

Last night, I tried to meditate. I just couldn't even trance myself. My mind completely drifted to what seemed like hundreds of places at once. I attempted extremely hard, and knew Father understood my turmoil. However, I fear that I can't even contact Father, or any sort of Demon for assistance. Also, I don't even think I can conjure the amount of focus essential to begin developing astral abilities, which also complicate the matters at hand. Please, help me.