I don't like these constant feelings of "oh no, what the fuck did I do, I dedicated my soul to an entity" and stuff, hopefully its understandable. This sight however has given me good info on how how to manage depression, be healthy and stuff, so it wasn't for nothing. If my family would ever find out I did THIS, things would never be the same. I have a spiritual background, as my grandpa has been a pastor for YEARS and all of my family is Christian. I simply don't care enough to fight the "Spiritual" battle, as I am paranoid as shit. My grandpa literally had a stroke when he found ought I had a court date for an alcohol incident, just think of how much more extreme an event would happen if they ever found out I dabbled in the dark arts.
But anyways, if the whole ritual thing actually worked I will live forever i just can't being so different than everyone around me, am I schizo?. I had an in depth discussion with my pastor and he was quite "convincing", definitely.
so yeah, I guess I'm a coward as there are no mediators and I don't need this group.
