I'm in a bit of a crisis

[adammaterazzi]

Its not a crisis of belief. I know in my heart I have faith in Satanism.
I dedicated very soon after finding spiritual Satanism, it felt right so I went with it.
The beauty and justice of Satanism, the power and wonder of such a Great Work as spiritual alchemy, how could such beings be evil or monsters? They could not, the thoughts are completely incompatible, thus the lies of the filth have no power over me. To teach and empower a being to grow and evolve, to reach their potential and know the joys and the beauty of life beyond the slavery and oppression, such love, such illimitable love they must hold for us, it feels right to be a part of such majesty, and these days bring joyful tears and an immense feeling of hope for the future of humanity when I think about these things, and immense grief when I think of the state humanity is in now, all those people who do not know the beauty of our Gods, kept away from them, shackled with lies and fear, I weep for them, to have never known the truth.
I have not managed to converse with Satan yet, the feeling is too overwhelming for concentration, I am overcome with joy and hope and my thoughts fall to nothing when I feel a connection.

My crisis is because I'm confused as to whether I should follow my heart or my mind in talking to Satan, I also feel a natural connection to Beelzebub, a longing to be close to him, I don't know why this longing exists but my crisis is whether I should follow this desire because my mind tells me its disrespectful to call upon our Gods on a whim of the heart, that I should observe ritual and formality.
I know my mind is not fully free of the xian-filth conditioning, I know my heart to be where it belongs, where it always belonged and I hope in whatever life I live I find the way to Satanism, but I am ashamed of my thought-taint, I fear this taint will ruin any attempted contact between myself and Satan and Beelzebub.

Should I follow my heart in this?
I know in my heart that I should embrace my faith, and the desire to converse with Beelzebub comes from the heart but is that itself the answer to this conflict, do I trust myself, my heart, to lead me?

 

[Magus Immortalis]

If you feel drawn to Beelzebub then talk to Him. I think you know what you must do, as the answer is already apparent in your original post. On Monday, May 5, 2014 2:54:01 PM, "adam_matterrazzi@..." <adam_matterrazzi@... wrote:
  Its not a crisis of belief. I know in my heart I have faith in Satanism.
I dedicated very soon after finding spiritual Satanism, it felt right so I went with it.
The beauty and justice of Satanism, the power and wonder of such a Great Work as spiritual alchemy, how could such beings be evil or monsters? They could not, the thoughts are completely incompatible, thus the lies of the filth have no power over me. To teach and empower a being to grow and evolve, to reach their potential and know the joys and the beauty of life beyond the slavery and oppression, such love, such illimitable love they must hold for us, it feels right to be a part of such majesty, and these days bring joyful tears and an immense feeling of hope for the future of humanity when I think about these things, and immense grief when I think of the state humanity is in now, all those people who do not know the beauty of our Gods, kept away from them, shackled with lies and fear, I weep for them, to have never known the truth.
I have not managed to converse with Satan yet, the feeling is too overwhelming for concentration, I am overcome with joy and hope and my thoughts fall to nothing when I feel a connection.

My crisis is because I'm confused as to whether I should follow my heart or my mind in talking to Satan, I also feel a natural connection to Beelzebub, a longing to be close to him, I don't know why this longing exists but my crisis is whether I should follow this desire because my mind tells me its disrespectful to call upon our Gods on a whim of the heart, that I should observe ritual and formality.
I know my mind is not fully free of the xian-filth conditioning, I know my heart to be where it belongs, where it always belonged and I hope in whatever life I live I find the way to Satanism, but I am ashamed of my thought-taint, I fear this taint will ruin any attempted contact between myself and Satan and Beelzebub.

Should I follow my heart in this?
I know in my heart that I should embrace my faith, and the desire to converse with Beelzebub comes from the heart but is that itself the answer to this conflict, do I trust myself, my heart, to lead me?

 

[corrinamh]

I to know there is no way that Satan and the Gods / Goddesses are bad wrong evil as the dumbass christians portray them to be. I get from them the same as I feel for my children. They want the best for me and for me to grow / evolve to be able to care for myself. Even when I did something displeasing I knew he was not happy with me but I still felt his love for me. That my friends can't be wrong. He has never used fear tactics with me as the enemy has. They do because that is all they have. There is no love there on that side at all. You only really feel them when you arent with them and no longer without Satan. Before that never felt them and didn't believe they existed. Unfortunately with denying them and not knowing better I denied my father Satan. I know now how wrong I was and just want whatever time I have in this lifetime to be the best and give them everything I have. I would be so happy if all of Satan's gentiles would wake up as I have. Forever with my love devotion and dedication to Satan and the Gods / Godesses