My name is Brandy, Im 19 yrs old,I Live in tampa, fl.
I havnt slept in almost 3 days so if i sound a little off, its because its really hard for me to think right now
Its weird how i grew up truly hating "god" and yet scared to death of Satan, I really thought there was no hope for me. instead of writing 5 paragraphs explaining my life, long story short, this so called loving and forgiving poser, has made my life a living hell. Half of my life, I wished that I could be on Satan's side, that he would love me, but like I said I was scared. The only satanism I knew little about was Anton LeVay, and it wasn't for me, Ive never thought that Satan doesn't exit..even tho i have doubted god so many times
About 4 months ago, I don't know why but I decided to look up all of the different types of satanism, just for kicks I guess, and maybe just a little bit of hope...THATS WHEN I FOUND THE JoS, And it just blew my fucking mind away, reading about Zevism. Nothing has made more sense in my fuckin life.
ok, first off, I haven't dedicated myself yet, From the bottom of my heart I truly do, but there's one big problem, There is NO privacy where I live. I live with my boyfriend, who is, sadly, very closed minded. He definitely gets it from his parents, which are very religious. I dont want to hear all this bs how The REAL FATHER OF LIES has all the damn glory, i mean it really makes me sad, which i was accually surprised that I felt like that, holding back tears,. but i got to put up with it. I feel stuck in a rock n a hard place, If I come out and be who I feel like I realy am,Unfortunately, I will be a bum out on the streets.
And something I dont get, ok, I havnt had any sleep in about 3 days, not for nothing though, Ive read what other Zevism have siad about Satan will make himself more known to you after the dedication ritual.
I was meditating couple night ago, and it was impossible, In my head it was very vivd..and annoying! My boyfriends father was trying to distract me, (my boyfriends dad does talk alot tho, and he annoys me) but this was bad, like it wasnt my bfs dad, he was taunting me, laughing at me, In my head I would get up and start waling the shit out of him when I saw that creepy ass smile then I knew it wasnt me, So in my head I got up, ran up toward him and just starting beating the crap out of him, he got scared at first, but then just started doing the same shit, laughing making me go crazy
Id tell myself something like calm down, ignore it, and for some reason, Eminem's voice (YES EMINEM) would rhyme what I siad, so I couldnt meditate, I couldnt sleep.
I used to smoke out on the front porch (now i have to smoke in the back yard) and after i got into Zevism, this tree accross the street, the leaves are perfectly haped to look exactly like the the "evil" Satan, big creepy grin, horns, scary eyes. I thought it was just because Im thinking of Satan or something
Last night I was smokin out back and i just noticed another tree and WTF, I cant even describe it, it had a human features to it but it had alot more detail, urgh my stupid brain cant think right now! I know it aint a demon that shit was really trying to scare me, I was smilin on the outside but inside,i was like "ooo fuukk.."
Its just bullshit cuz they make me real weak then pull this shit on me, I mean all night last nyt, it was on it was either i was really hallucinating from no sleep or something was always following me, tall dark shadow.
It just confuses me because I havnt dedicated myself yet, why are these fuckers fucking with me now?, Ive only seen satan once, he never spoke, just smiled, and left and that was it.
I need some help, Im not sure what to do.
I feel so alone
Gay ass angels,
brandyl914 min to read
first off you arent alone your never alone and as long as you follow satan youll never be alone as for your visions or whatever they were idk ive never experienced anything like that before for the most part of what im reading it sounds like you may have one or more of the enemy "grey corrupted being "angel"" i would advise doing a banishing ritual and afew protection rituals to see if that helps as for the dedication you can do it in your astral temple if you like and the last point ill make is about your boyfriend and his family i myself would tell them to go fuck themselves...damn closed minded xians but i wont advise you to do that because im not in your position and ive always been one to say what pops into my mind..regardless of the way people react to it but as i was saying you can do the dedication in your astral temple and id advise trying to banish and protect yourself from whatever is harrasing you. hope my rant helped you alittle.
From: brandyl91 <brandyl91@...
To:
Sent: Mon, November 1, 2010 5:04:18 PM
Subject: Gay ass angels,
My name is Brandy, Im 19 yrs old,I Live in tampa, fl.
I havnt slept in almost 3 days so if i sound a little off, its because its really hard for me to think right now
Its weird how i grew up truly hating "god" and yet scared to death of Satan, I really thought there was no hope for me. instead of writing 5 paragraphs explaining my life, long story short, this so called loving and forgiving poser, has made my life a living hell. Half of my life, I wished that I could be on Satan's side, that he would love me, but like I said I was scared. The only satanism I knew little about was Anton LeVay, and it wasn't for me, Ive never thought that Satan doesn't exit..even tho i have doubted god so many times
About 4 months ago, I don't know why but I decided to look up all of the different types of satanism, just for kicks I guess, and maybe just a little bit of hope...THATS WHEN I FOUND THE JoS, And it just blew my fucking mind away, reading about Zevism. Nothing has made more sense in my fuckin life.
ok, first off, I haven't dedicated myself yet, From the bottom of my heart I truly do, but there's one big problem, There is NO privacy where I live. I live with my boyfriend, who is, sadly, very closed minded. He definitely gets it from his parents, which are very religious. I dont want to hear all this bs how The REAL FATHER OF LIES has all the damn glory, i mean it really makes me sad, which i was accually surprised that I felt like that, holding back tears,. but i got to put up with it. I feel stuck in a rock n a hard place, If I come out and be who I feel like I realy am,Unfortunately, I will be a bum out on the streets.
And something I dont get, ok, I havnt had any sleep in about 3 days, not for nothing though, Ive read what other Zevism have siad about Satan will make himself more known to you after the dedication ritual.
I was meditating couple night ago, and it was impossible, In my head it was very vivd..and annoying! My boyfriends father was trying to distract me, (my boyfriends dad does talk alot tho, and he annoys me) but this was bad, like it wasnt my bfs dad, he was taunting me, laughing at me, In my head I would get up and start waling the shit out of him when I saw that creepy ass smile then I knew it wasnt me, So in my head I got up, ran up toward him and just starting beating the crap out of him, he got scared at first, but then just started doing the same shit, laughing making me go crazy
Id tell myself something like calm down, ignore it, and for some reason, Eminem's voice (YES EMINEM) would rhyme what I siad, so I couldnt meditate, I couldnt sleep.
I used to smoke out on the front porch (now i have to smoke in the back yard) and after i got into Zevism, this tree accross the street, the leaves are perfectly haped to look exactly like the the "evil" Satan, big creepy grin, horns, scary eyes. I thought it was just because Im thinking of Satan or something
Last night I was smokin out back and i just noticed another tree and WTF, I cant even describe it, it had a human features to it but it had alot more detail, urgh my stupid brain cant think right now! I know it aint a demon that shit was really trying to scare me, I was smilin on the outside but inside,i was like "ooo fuukk.."
Its just bullshit cuz they make me real weak then pull this shit on me, I mean all night last nyt, it was on it was either i was really hallucinating from no sleep or something was always following me, tall dark shadow.
It just confuses me because I havnt dedicated myself yet, why are these fuckers fucking with me now?, Ive only seen satan once, he never spoke, just smiled, and left and that was it.
I need some help, Im not sure what to do.
I feel so alone
0
first off you arent alone your never alone and as long as you follow satan youll never be alone as for your visions or whatever they were idk ive never experienced anything like that before for the most part of what im reading it sounds like you may have one or more of the enemy "grey corrupted being "angel"" i would advise doing a banishing ritual and afew protection rituals to see if that helps as for the dedication you can do it in your astral temple if you like and the last point ill make is about your boyfriend and his family i myself would tell them to go fuck themselves...damn closed minded xians but i wont advise you to do that because im not in your position and ive always been one to say what pops into my mind..regardless of the way people react to it but as i was saying you can do the dedication in your astral temple and id advise trying to banish and protect yourself from whatever is harrasing you. hope my rant helped you alittle.
From: brandyl91 <brandyl91@...
To:
Sent: Mon, November 1, 2010 5:04:18 PM
Subject: Gay ass angels,
My name is Brandy, Im 19 yrs old,I Live in tampa, fl.
I havnt slept in almost 3 days so if i sound a little off, its because its really hard for me to think right now
Its weird how i grew up truly hating "god" and yet scared to death of Satan, I really thought there was no hope for me. instead of writing 5 paragraphs explaining my life, long story short, this so called loving and forgiving poser, has made my life a living hell. Half of my life, I wished that I could be on Satan's side, that he would love me, but like I said I was scared. The only satanism I knew little about was Anton LeVay, and it wasn't for me, Ive never thought that Satan doesn't exit..even tho i have doubted god so many times
About 4 months ago, I don't know why but I decided to look up all of the different types of satanism, just for kicks I guess, and maybe just a little bit of hope...THATS WHEN I FOUND THE JoS, And it just blew my fucking mind away, reading about Zevism. Nothing has made more sense in my fuckin life.
ok, first off, I haven't dedicated myself yet, From the bottom of my heart I truly do, but there's one big problem, There is NO privacy where I live. I live with my boyfriend, who is, sadly, very closed minded. He definitely gets it from his parents, which are very religious. I dont want to hear all this bs how The REAL FATHER OF LIES has all the damn glory, i mean it really makes me sad, which i was accually surprised that I felt like that, holding back tears,. but i got to put up with it. I feel stuck in a rock n a hard place, If I come out and be who I feel like I realy am,Unfortunately, I will be a bum out on the streets.
And something I dont get, ok, I havnt had any sleep in about 3 days, not for nothing though, Ive read what other Zevism have siad about Satan will make himself more known to you after the dedication ritual.
I was meditating couple night ago, and it was impossible, In my head it was very vivd..and annoying! My boyfriends father was trying to distract me, (my boyfriends dad does talk alot tho, and he annoys me) but this was bad, like it wasnt my bfs dad, he was taunting me, laughing at me, In my head I would get up and start waling the shit out of him when I saw that creepy ass smile then I knew it wasnt me, So in my head I got up, ran up toward him and just starting beating the crap out of him, he got scared at first, but then just started doing the same shit, laughing making me go crazy
Id tell myself something like calm down, ignore it, and for some reason, Eminem's voice (YES EMINEM) would rhyme what I siad, so I couldnt meditate, I couldnt sleep.
I used to smoke out on the front porch (now i have to smoke in the back yard) and after i got into Zevism, this tree accross the street, the leaves are perfectly haped to look exactly like the the "evil" Satan, big creepy grin, horns, scary eyes. I thought it was just because Im thinking of Satan or something
Last night I was smokin out back and i just noticed another tree and WTF, I cant even describe it, it had a human features to it but it had alot more detail, urgh my stupid brain cant think right now! I know it aint a demon that shit was really trying to scare me, I was smilin on the outside but inside,i was like "ooo fuukk.."
Its just bullshit cuz they make me real weak then pull this shit on me, I mean all night last nyt, it was on it was either i was really hallucinating from no sleep or something was always following me, tall dark shadow.
It just confuses me because I havnt dedicated myself yet, why are these fuckers fucking with me now?, Ive only seen satan once, he never spoke, just smiled, and left and that was it.
I need some help, Im not sure what to do.
I feel so alone
Well, i now know it was def the greys, I found a picture of one, and it was EXACTLY the same as the face staring at me, it freaked me out, also, do all demons have a blue aura? I told satan i wasnt backing down they can get fucked, i got 2 calls for an interview tomarrow, both in short walking distance, i havnt been able to find a job in over a year.
HAIL SATAN!
From: Kevin Poole <k.poole83@...
To:
Sent: Tue, November 2, 2010 2:57:03 PM
Subject: Re: Gay ass angels,
first off you arent alone your never alone and as long as you follow satan youll never be alone as for your visions or whatever they were idk ive never experienced anything like that before for the most part of what im reading it sounds like you may have one or more of the enemy "grey corrupted being "angel"" i would advise doing a banishing ritual and afew protection rituals to see if that helps as for the dedication you can do it in your astral temple if you like and the last point ill make is about your boyfriend and his family i myself would tell them to go fuck themselves...damn closed minded xians but i wont advise you to do that because im not in your position and ive always been one to say what pops into my mind..regardless of the way people react to it but as i was saying you can do the dedication in your astral temple and id advise trying to banish and protect yourself from whatever is harrasing you. hope my rant helped you alittle.
From: brandyl91 <brandyl91@...
To:
Sent: Mon, November 1, 2010 5:04:18 PM
Subject: Gay ass angels,
My name is Brandy, Im 19 yrs old,I Live in tampa, fl.
I havnt slept in almost 3 days so if i sound a little off, its because its really hard for me to think right now
Its weird how i grew up truly hating "god" and yet scared to death of Satan, I really thought there was no hope for me. instead of writing 5 paragraphs explaining my life, long story short, this so called loving and forgiving poser, has made my life a living hell. Half of my life, I wished that I could be on Satan's side, that he would love me, but like I said I was scared. The only satanism I knew little about was Anton LeVay, and it wasn't for me, Ive never thought that Satan doesn't exit..even tho i have doubted god so many times
About 4 months ago, I don't know why but I decided to look up all of the different types of satanism, just for kicks I guess, and maybe just a little bit of hope...THATS WHEN I FOUND THE JoS, And it just blew my fucking mind away, reading about Zevism. Nothing has made more sense in my fuckin life.
ok, first off, I haven't dedicated myself yet, From the bottom of my heart I truly do, but there's one big problem, There is NO privacy where I live. I live with my boyfriend, who is, sadly, very closed minded. He definitely gets it from his parents, which are very religious. I dont want to hear all this bs how The REAL FATHER OF LIES has all the damn glory, i mean it really makes me sad, which i was accually surprised that I felt like that, holding back tears,. but i got to put up with it. I feel stuck in a rock n a hard place, If I come out and be who I feel like I realy am,Unfortunately, I will be a bum out on the streets.
And something I dont get, ok, I havnt had any sleep in about 3 days, not for nothing though, Ive read what other Zevism have siad about Satan will make himself more known to you after the dedication ritual.
I was meditating couple night ago, and it was impossible, In my head it was very vivd..and annoying! My boyfriends father was trying to distract me, (my boyfriends dad does talk alot tho, and he annoys me) but this was bad, like it wasnt my bfs dad, he was taunting me, laughing at me, In my head I would get up and start waling the shit out of him when I saw that creepy ass smile then I knew it wasnt me, So in my head I got up, ran up toward him and just starting beating the crap out of him, he got scared at first, but then just started doing the same shit, laughing making me go crazy
Id tell myself something like calm down, ignore it, and for some reason, Eminem's voice (YES EMINEM) would rhyme what I siad, so I couldnt meditate, I couldnt sleep.
I used to smoke out on the front porch (now i have to smoke in the back yard) and after i got into Zevism, this tree accross the street, the leaves are perfectly haped to look exactly like the the "evil" Satan, big creepy grin, horns, scary eyes. I thought it was just because Im thinking of Satan or something
Last night I was smokin out back and i just noticed another tree and WTF, I cant even describe it, it had a human features to it but it had alot more detail, urgh my stupid brain cant think right now! I know it aint a demon that shit was really trying to scare me, I was smilin on the outside but inside,i was like "ooo fuukk.."
Its just bullshit cuz they make me real weak then pull this shit on me, I mean all night last nyt, it was on it was either i was really hallucinating from no sleep or something was always following me, tall dark shadow.
It just confuses me because I havnt dedicated myself yet, why are these fuckers fucking with me now?, Ive only seen satan once, he never spoke, just smiled, and left and that was it.
I need some help, Im not sure what to do.
I feel so alone
0
Well, i now know it was def the greys, I found a picture of one, and it was EXACTLY the same as the face staring at me, it freaked me out, also, do all demons have a blue aura? I told satan i wasnt backing down they can get fucked, i got 2 calls for an interview tomarrow, both in short walking distance, i havnt been able to find a job in over a year.
HAIL SATAN!
From: Kevin Poole <k.poole83@...
To:
Sent: Tue, November 2, 2010 2:57:03 PM
Subject: Re: Gay ass angels,
first off you arent alone your never alone and as long as you follow satan youll never be alone as for your visions or whatever they were idk ive never experienced anything like that before for the most part of what im reading it sounds like you may have one or more of the enemy "grey corrupted being "angel"" i would advise doing a banishing ritual and afew protection rituals to see if that helps as for the dedication you can do it in your astral temple if you like and the last point ill make is about your boyfriend and his family i myself would tell them to go fuck themselves...damn closed minded xians but i wont advise you to do that because im not in your position and ive always been one to say what pops into my mind..regardless of the way people react to it but as i was saying you can do the dedication in your astral temple and id advise trying to banish and protect yourself from whatever is harrasing you. hope my rant helped you alittle.
From: brandyl91 <brandyl91@...
To:
Sent: Mon, November 1, 2010 5:04:18 PM
Subject: Gay ass angels,
My name is Brandy, Im 19 yrs old,I Live in tampa, fl.
I havnt slept in almost 3 days so if i sound a little off, its because its really hard for me to think right now
Its weird how i grew up truly hating "god" and yet scared to death of Satan, I really thought there was no hope for me. instead of writing 5 paragraphs explaining my life, long story short, this so called loving and forgiving poser, has made my life a living hell. Half of my life, I wished that I could be on Satan's side, that he would love me, but like I said I was scared. The only satanism I knew little about was Anton LeVay, and it wasn't for me, Ive never thought that Satan doesn't exit..even tho i have doubted god so many times
About 4 months ago, I don't know why but I decided to look up all of the different types of satanism, just for kicks I guess, and maybe just a little bit of hope...THATS WHEN I FOUND THE JoS, And it just blew my fucking mind away, reading about Zevism. Nothing has made more sense in my fuckin life.
ok, first off, I haven't dedicated myself yet, From the bottom of my heart I truly do, but there's one big problem, There is NO privacy where I live. I live with my boyfriend, who is, sadly, very closed minded. He definitely gets it from his parents, which are very religious. I dont want to hear all this bs how The REAL FATHER OF LIES has all the damn glory, i mean it really makes me sad, which i was accually surprised that I felt like that, holding back tears,. but i got to put up with it. I feel stuck in a rock n a hard place, If I come out and be who I feel like I realy am,Unfortunately, I will be a bum out on the streets.
And something I dont get, ok, I havnt had any sleep in about 3 days, not for nothing though, Ive read what other Zevism have siad about Satan will make himself more known to you after the dedication ritual.
I was meditating couple night ago, and it was impossible, In my head it was very vivd..and annoying! My boyfriends father was trying to distract me, (my boyfriends dad does talk alot tho, and he annoys me) but this was bad, like it wasnt my bfs dad, he was taunting me, laughing at me, In my head I would get up and start waling the shit out of him when I saw that creepy ass smile then I knew it wasnt me, So in my head I got up, ran up toward him and just starting beating the crap out of him, he got scared at first, but then just started doing the same shit, laughing making me go crazy
Id tell myself something like calm down, ignore it, and for some reason, Eminem's voice (YES EMINEM) would rhyme what I siad, so I couldnt meditate, I couldnt sleep.
I used to smoke out on the front porch (now i have to smoke in the back yard) and after i got into Zevism, this tree accross the street, the leaves are perfectly haped to look exactly like the the "evil" Satan, big creepy grin, horns, scary eyes. I thought it was just because Im thinking of Satan or something
Last night I was smokin out back and i just noticed another tree and WTF, I cant even describe it, it had a human features to it but it had alot more detail, urgh my stupid brain cant think right now! I know it aint a demon that shit was really trying to scare me, I was smilin on the outside but inside,i was like "ooo fuukk.."
Its just bullshit cuz they make me real weak then pull this shit on me, I mean all night last nyt, it was on it was either i was really hallucinating from no sleep or something was always following me, tall dark shadow.
It just confuses me because I havnt dedicated myself yet, why are these fuckers fucking with me now?, Ive only seen satan once, he never spoke, just smiled, and left and that was it.
I need some help, Im not sure what to do.
I feel so alone
i am not afraid of doing the ritual, in fact i cant wait lol. i dont have any candles right now :/ or privacy
From: The only Saval <sonaked365ke@...
To:
Sent: Tue, November 2, 2010 1:38:18 PM
Subject: Gay ass angels,
0
i am not afraid of doing the ritual, in fact i cant wait lol. i dont have any candles right now :/ or privacy
From: The only Saval <sonaked365ke@...
To:
Sent: Tue, November 2, 2010 1:38:18 PM
Subject: Gay ass angels,
Why are you using the word "gay" as an insult here?We're not homophobic, and there's nothing bad in being gay.
--- In , "brandyl91" <brandyl91@... wrote:
My name is Brandy, Im 19 yrs old,I Live in tampa, fl.
I havnt slept in almost 3 days so if i sound a little off, its because its really hard for me to think right now
Its weird how i grew up truly hating "god" and yet scared to death of Satan, I really thought there was no hope for me. instead of writing 5 paragraphs explaining my life, long story short, this so called loving and forgiving poser, has made my life a living hell. Half of my life, I wished that I could be on Satan's side, that he would love me, but like I said I was scared. The only satanism I knew little about was Anton LeVay, and it wasn't for me, Ive never thought that Satan doesn't exit..even tho i have doubted god so many times
About 4 months ago, I don't know why but I decided to look up all of the different types of satanism, just for kicks I guess, and maybe just a little bit of hope...THATS WHEN I FOUND THE JoS, And it just blew my fucking mind away, reading about Zevism. Nothing has made more sense in my fuckin life.
ok, first off, I haven't dedicated myself yet, From the bottom of my heart I truly do, but there's one big problem, There is NO privacy where I live. I live with my boyfriend, who is, sadly, very closed minded. He definitely gets it from his parents, which are very religious. I dont want to hear all this bs how The REAL FATHER OF LIES has all the damn glory, i mean it really makes me sad, which i was accually surprised that I felt like that, holding back tears,. but i got to put up with it. I feel stuck in a rock n a hard place, If I come out and be who I feel like I realy am,Unfortunately, I will be a bum out on the streets.
And something I dont get, ok, I havnt had any sleep in about 3 days, not for nothing though, Ive read what other Zevism have siad about Satan will make himself more known to you after the dedication ritual.
I was meditating couple night ago, and it was impossible, In my head it was very vivd..and annoying! My boyfriends father was trying to distract me, (my boyfriends dad does talk alot tho, and he annoys me) but this was bad, like it wasnt my bfs dad, he was taunting me, laughing at me, In my head I would get up and start waling the shit out of him when I saw that creepy ass smile then I knew it wasnt me, So in my head I got up, ran up toward him and just starting beating the crap out of him, he got scared at first, but then just started doing the same shit, laughing making me go crazy
Id tell myself something like calm down, ignore it, and for some reason, Eminem's voice (YES EMINEM) would rhyme what I siad, so I couldnt meditate, I couldnt sleep.
I used to smoke out on the front porch (now i have to smoke in the back yard) and after i got into Zevism, this tree accross the street, the leaves are perfectly haped to look exactly like the the "evil" Satan, big creepy grin, horns, scary eyes. I thought it was just because Im thinking of Satan or something
Last night I was smokin out back and i just noticed another tree and WTF, I cant even describe it, it had a human features to it but it had alot more detail, urgh my stupid brain cant think right now! I know it aint a demon that shit was really trying to scare me, I was smilin on the outside but inside,i was like "ooo fuukk.."
Its just bullshit cuz they make me real weak then pull this shit on me, I mean all night last nyt, it was on it was either i was really hallucinating from no sleep or something was always following me, tall dark shadow.
It just confuses me because I havnt dedicated myself yet, why are these fuckers fucking with me now?, Ive only seen satan once, he never spoke, just smiled, and left and that was it.
I need some help, Im not sure what to do.
I feel so alone
0
Why are you using the word "gay" as an insult here?We're not homophobic, and there's nothing bad in being gay.
--- In , "brandyl91" <brandyl91@... wrote:
My name is Brandy, Im 19 yrs old,I Live in tampa, fl.
I havnt slept in almost 3 days so if i sound a little off, its because its really hard for me to think right now
Its weird how i grew up truly hating "god" and yet scared to death of Satan, I really thought there was no hope for me. instead of writing 5 paragraphs explaining my life, long story short, this so called loving and forgiving poser, has made my life a living hell. Half of my life, I wished that I could be on Satan's side, that he would love me, but like I said I was scared. The only satanism I knew little about was Anton LeVay, and it wasn't for me, Ive never thought that Satan doesn't exit..even tho i have doubted god so many times
About 4 months ago, I don't know why but I decided to look up all of the different types of satanism, just for kicks I guess, and maybe just a little bit of hope...THATS WHEN I FOUND THE JoS, And it just blew my fucking mind away, reading about Zevism. Nothing has made more sense in my fuckin life.
ok, first off, I haven't dedicated myself yet, From the bottom of my heart I truly do, but there's one big problem, There is NO privacy where I live. I live with my boyfriend, who is, sadly, very closed minded. He definitely gets it from his parents, which are very religious. I dont want to hear all this bs how The REAL FATHER OF LIES has all the damn glory, i mean it really makes me sad, which i was accually surprised that I felt like that, holding back tears,. but i got to put up with it. I feel stuck in a rock n a hard place, If I come out and be who I feel like I realy am,Unfortunately, I will be a bum out on the streets.
And something I dont get, ok, I havnt had any sleep in about 3 days, not for nothing though, Ive read what other Zevism have siad about Satan will make himself more known to you after the dedication ritual.
I was meditating couple night ago, and it was impossible, In my head it was very vivd..and annoying! My boyfriends father was trying to distract me, (my boyfriends dad does talk alot tho, and he annoys me) but this was bad, like it wasnt my bfs dad, he was taunting me, laughing at me, In my head I would get up and start waling the shit out of him when I saw that creepy ass smile then I knew it wasnt me, So in my head I got up, ran up toward him and just starting beating the crap out of him, he got scared at first, but then just started doing the same shit, laughing making me go crazy
Id tell myself something like calm down, ignore it, and for some reason, Eminem's voice (YES EMINEM) would rhyme what I siad, so I couldnt meditate, I couldnt sleep.
I used to smoke out on the front porch (now i have to smoke in the back yard) and after i got into Zevism, this tree accross the street, the leaves are perfectly haped to look exactly like the the "evil" Satan, big creepy grin, horns, scary eyes. I thought it was just because Im thinking of Satan or something
Last night I was smokin out back and i just noticed another tree and WTF, I cant even describe it, it had a human features to it but it had alot more detail, urgh my stupid brain cant think right now! I know it aint a demon that shit was really trying to scare me, I was smilin on the outside but inside,i was like "ooo fuukk.."
Its just bullshit cuz they make me real weak then pull this shit on me, I mean all night last nyt, it was on it was either i was really hallucinating from no sleep or something was always following me, tall dark shadow.
It just confuses me because I havnt dedicated myself yet, why are these fuckers fucking with me now?, Ive only seen satan once, he never spoke, just smiled, and left and that was it.
I need some help, Im not sure what to do.
I feel so alone
Since you're new, I'd suggest you de-program yourself from all the lies and then dedicate yourself.
As for having no privacy, when you wake up, keep your eyes shut, and clean your aura in bed. You can also lock yourself in the bathroom and turn the shower on.
Also, I think it's best to stay out of your head [like that] because I personally think that's when the enemy likes to fuck with us. I remember I had a song playing in my head and had one of those fuckers scream at me (wich has really been the only "attack" I've had). My dad has even had the enemy fuck with him, when he was in church one day he was [in his head] just thinking about how stupid everyone looked in the choir and then an angel said "god loves every one of them" to him....which drove him to become a hard-core xian.....
I suggest doing more void meditation.
And when you said "gay" like it was an insult, the first thing that came to mind was that episode of South Park where Cartman repeatedly says "that's fuckin gay" so he can look even more poor & stupid.
--- In , "brandyl91" <brandyl91@... wrote:
My name is Brandy, Im 19 yrs old,I Live in tampa, fl.
I havnt slept in almost 3 days so if i sound a little off, its because its really hard for me to think right now
Its weird how i grew up truly hating "god" and yet scared to death of Satan, I really thought there was no hope for me. instead of writing 5 paragraphs explaining my life, long story short, this so called loving and forgiving poser, has made my life a living hell. Half of my life, I wished that I could be on Satan's side, that he would love me, but like I said I was scared. The only satanism I knew little about was Anton LeVay, and it wasn't for me, Ive never thought that Satan doesn't exit..even tho i have doubted god so many times
About 4 months ago, I don't know why but I decided to look up all of the different types of satanism, just for kicks I guess, and maybe just a little bit of hope...THATS WHEN I FOUND THE JoS, And it just blew my fucking mind away, reading about Zevism. Nothing has made more sense in my fuckin life.
ok, first off, I haven't dedicated myself yet, From the bottom of my heart I truly do, but there's one big problem, There is NO privacy where I live. I live with my boyfriend, who is, sadly, very closed minded. He definitely gets it from his parents, which are very religious. I dont want to hear all this bs how The REAL FATHER OF LIES has all the damn glory, i mean it really makes me sad, which i was accually surprised that I felt like that, holding back tears,. but i got to put up with it. I feel stuck in a rock n a hard place, If I come out and be who I feel like I realy am,Unfortunately, I will be a bum out on the streets.
And something I dont get, ok, I havnt had any sleep in about 3 days, not for nothing though, Ive read what other Zevism have siad about Satan will make himself more known to you after the dedication ritual.
I was meditating couple night ago, and it was impossible, In my head it was very vivd..and annoying! My boyfriends father was trying to distract me, (my boyfriends dad does talk alot tho, and he annoys me) but this was bad, like it wasnt my bfs dad, he was taunting me, laughing at me, In my head I would get up and start waling the shit out of him when I saw that creepy ass smile then I knew it wasnt me, So in my head I got up, ran up toward him and just starting beating the crap out of him, he got scared at first, but then just started doing the same shit, laughing making me go crazy
Id tell myself something like calm down, ignore it, and for some reason, Eminem's voice (YES EMINEM) would rhyme what I siad, so I couldnt meditate, I couldnt sleep.
I used to smoke out on the front porch (now i have to smoke in the back yard) and after i got into Zevism, this tree accross the street, the leaves are perfectly haped to look exactly like the the "evil" Satan, big creepy grin, horns, scary eyes. I thought it was just because Im thinking of Satan or something
Last night I was smokin out back and i just noticed another tree and WTF, I cant even describe it, it had a human features to it but it had alot more detail, urgh my stupid brain cant think right now! I know it aint a demon that shit was really trying to scare me, I was smilin on the outside but inside,i was like "ooo fuukk.."
Its just bullshit cuz they make me real weak then pull this shit on me, I mean all night last nyt, it was on it was either i was really hallucinating from no sleep or something was always following me, tall dark shadow.
It just confuses me because I havnt dedicated myself yet, why are these fuckers fucking with me now?, Ive only seen satan once, he never spoke, just smiled, and left and that was it.
I need some help, Im not sure what to do.
I feel so alone
0
Since you're new, I'd suggest you de-program yourself from all the lies and then dedicate yourself.
As for having no privacy, when you wake up, keep your eyes shut, and clean your aura in bed. You can also lock yourself in the bathroom and turn the shower on.
Also, I think it's best to stay out of your head [like that] because I personally think that's when the enemy likes to fuck with us. I remember I had a song playing in my head and had one of those fuckers scream at me (wich has really been the only "attack" I've had). My dad has even had the enemy fuck with him, when he was in church one day he was [in his head] just thinking about how stupid everyone looked in the choir and then an angel said "god loves every one of them" to him....which drove him to become a hard-core xian.....
I suggest doing more void meditation.
And when you said "gay" like it was an insult, the first thing that came to mind was that episode of South Park where Cartman repeatedly says "that's fuckin gay" so he can look even more poor & stupid.
--- In , "brandyl91" <brandyl91@... wrote:
My name is Brandy, Im 19 yrs old,I Live in tampa, fl.
I havnt slept in almost 3 days so if i sound a little off, its because its really hard for me to think right now
Its weird how i grew up truly hating "god" and yet scared to death of Satan, I really thought there was no hope for me. instead of writing 5 paragraphs explaining my life, long story short, this so called loving and forgiving poser, has made my life a living hell. Half of my life, I wished that I could be on Satan's side, that he would love me, but like I said I was scared. The only satanism I knew little about was Anton LeVay, and it wasn't for me, Ive never thought that Satan doesn't exit..even tho i have doubted god so many times
About 4 months ago, I don't know why but I decided to look up all of the different types of satanism, just for kicks I guess, and maybe just a little bit of hope...THATS WHEN I FOUND THE JoS, And it just blew my fucking mind away, reading about Zevism. Nothing has made more sense in my fuckin life.
ok, first off, I haven't dedicated myself yet, From the bottom of my heart I truly do, but there's one big problem, There is NO privacy where I live. I live with my boyfriend, who is, sadly, very closed minded. He definitely gets it from his parents, which are very religious. I dont want to hear all this bs how The REAL FATHER OF LIES has all the damn glory, i mean it really makes me sad, which i was accually surprised that I felt like that, holding back tears,. but i got to put up with it. I feel stuck in a rock n a hard place, If I come out and be who I feel like I realy am,Unfortunately, I will be a bum out on the streets.
And something I dont get, ok, I havnt had any sleep in about 3 days, not for nothing though, Ive read what other Zevism have siad about Satan will make himself more known to you after the dedication ritual.
I was meditating couple night ago, and it was impossible, In my head it was very vivd..and annoying! My boyfriends father was trying to distract me, (my boyfriends dad does talk alot tho, and he annoys me) but this was bad, like it wasnt my bfs dad, he was taunting me, laughing at me, In my head I would get up and start waling the shit out of him when I saw that creepy ass smile then I knew it wasnt me, So in my head I got up, ran up toward him and just starting beating the crap out of him, he got scared at first, but then just started doing the same shit, laughing making me go crazy
Id tell myself something like calm down, ignore it, and for some reason, Eminem's voice (YES EMINEM) would rhyme what I siad, so I couldnt meditate, I couldnt sleep.
I used to smoke out on the front porch (now i have to smoke in the back yard) and after i got into Zevism, this tree accross the street, the leaves are perfectly haped to look exactly like the the "evil" Satan, big creepy grin, horns, scary eyes. I thought it was just because Im thinking of Satan or something
Last night I was smokin out back and i just noticed another tree and WTF, I cant even describe it, it had a human features to it but it had alot more detail, urgh my stupid brain cant think right now! I know it aint a demon that shit was really trying to scare me, I was smilin on the outside but inside,i was like "ooo fuukk.."
Its just bullshit cuz they make me real weak then pull this shit on me, I mean all night last nyt, it was on it was either i was really hallucinating from no sleep or something was always following me, tall dark shadow.
It just confuses me because I havnt dedicated myself yet, why are these fuckers fucking with me now?, Ive only seen satan once, he never spoke, just smiled, and left and that was it.
I need some help, Im not sure what to do.
I feel so alone
If there is somthing medicaly wrong it is cuased by the chakra. Blocked or unhealthy chakras cuase problems in the srounding area's. Just like you described with your ribs hurting. first i would suggest Cleaning your aura and when you clean your chakras, focus on your heart chakra. After words do the ez chakra spin mediation on your heart chakra.
http://www.angelfire.com/empire/serpent ... _Spin.html
After this your chakra should be much healther and fuctioning properly.
Get better soon, Waric lyco
Hail satan!
Death to right hand path!
--- In , Elizabeth Remy <wheresfrank2864212@... wrote:
I've been meditating for over a year and a half now. My chakras have been open for a very, very long time. But lately I've noticed that my heart chakra isnt being as responsive as it should be. It's not that I'm not meditating enough, because my other chakras are working fine. But my heart chakra really feels strange and it hurts. The entire area around it hurts and has been affecting my ribs for a very long time. I know there's a possibility I could have a medical problem, but I wanted to ask the group first if they had any meditations or suggestions for me to try. I want to see if it's that I have a blockage somewhere or whats going on and if the meditations and stuff doesnt work then I'll go see the doctor. i'm not going to ignore the doctor but I wanted to try this first.
Does anyone have any kind of suggestions for something I can do unblock the chakra or make the area around it stop hurting?
Please, I'd appreciate it very much. (So would my boyfriend. He worries.)
Thank you so much in advance!
Ave Satanas!
0
If there is somthing medicaly wrong it is cuased by the chakra. Blocked or unhealthy chakras cuase problems in the srounding area's. Just like you described with your ribs hurting. first i would suggest Cleaning your aura and when you clean your chakras, focus on your heart chakra. After words do the ez chakra spin mediation on your heart chakra.
http://www.angelfire.com/empire/serpent ... _Spin.html
After this your chakra should be much healther and fuctioning properly.
Get better soon, Waric lyco
Hail satan!
Death to right hand path!
--- In , Elizabeth Remy <wheresfrank2864212@... wrote:
I've been meditating for over a year and a half now. My chakras have been open for a very, very long time. But lately I've noticed that my heart chakra isnt being as responsive as it should be. It's not that I'm not meditating enough, because my other chakras are working fine. But my heart chakra really feels strange and it hurts. The entire area around it hurts and has been affecting my ribs for a very long time. I know there's a possibility I could have a medical problem, but I wanted to ask the group first if they had any meditations or suggestions for me to try. I want to see if it's that I have a blockage somewhere or whats going on and if the meditations and stuff doesnt work then I'll go see the doctor. i'm not going to ignore the doctor but I wanted to try this first.
Does anyone have any kind of suggestions for something I can do unblock the chakra or make the area around it stop hurting?
Please, I'd appreciate it very much. (So would my boyfriend. He worries.)
Thank you so much in advance!
Ave Satanas!