Dedication ritual fail #2

[joepostma]

Today I planned on doing the ritual. I got home from work and showered, then wrote out the dedication and lit the black and red candles.

When it came time to pin my hand to get blood, it hurt so much I couldn't do it for while. I focused intently on puncturing my skin, but the needle started bending almost in half. I could not get it to puncture. I only got a fleck or two of blood out which I swiped onto the page, but it was tiny.

I then read the dedication.

It has been said that if your heart was in it, then it doesn't matter how much blood you got out. But my heart was NOT in it because it hurt my finger so much trying to puncture with the needle, and then I got hardly any blood out. I FELT like I failed.

Then afterwards my finger was just throbbing and I wanted to clean up the ashes that were all over the place from the burned paper I wrote the dedication on. It made quite a mess. I also had to clean up the wax that blew all over the kitchen table when I blew out the candles.

So, it feels like a major fail. I don't know what the point is of blood-letting. Can anyone explain? It hurts like crazy. I've cut my hands tons of times from kitchen knives, and I've never enjoyed it.

I feel like a lost soul. I am no xian because that whole thing is devoid of spirituality, rationality, and meaning, and it is a slave religion. I'm no satanist because I'm not strong-minded enough to overcome the pain of making myself bleed.

What should I do?

 

[the_fire_starter666]

It's because you "focus too hard", just relax or use another method to get blood if it's hard for you. Blood is used because it's your DNA and lifeforce and personal signature, it's pretty obvious from the context. And no, having a very small shallow cut doesn't hurt at all, I honestly can't see how you say "it hurts like crazy". No more than a mosquito bite.

--- In , "joepostma" <joepostma@... wrote:

Today I planned on doing the ritual. I got home from work and showered, then wrote out the dedication and lit the black and red candles.

When it came time to pin my hand to get blood, it hurt so much I couldn't do it for while. I focused intently on puncturing my skin, but the needle started bending almost in half. I could not get it to puncture. I only got a fleck or two of blood out which I swiped onto the page, but it was tiny.

I then read the dedication.

It has been said that if your heart was in it, then it doesn't matter how much blood you got out. But my heart was NOT in it because it hurt my finger so much trying to puncture with the needle, and then I got hardly any blood out. I FELT like I failed.

Then afterwards my finger was just throbbing and I wanted to clean up the ashes that were all over the place from the burned paper I wrote the dedication on. It made quite a mess. I also had to clean up the wax that blew all over the kitchen table when I blew out the candles.

So, it feels like a major fail. I don't know what the point is of blood-letting. Can anyone explain? It hurts like crazy. I've cut my hands tons of times from kitchen knives, and I've never enjoyed it.

I feel like a lost soul. I am no xian because that whole thing is devoid of spirituality, rationality, and meaning, and it is a slave religion. I'm no satanist because I'm not strong-minded enough to overcome the pain of making myself bleed.

What should I do?

 

[Daniel Carstens]

------------------------------

On Thu, Oct 11, 2012 3:43 PM PDT joepostma wrote:

Today I planned on doing the ritual. I got home from work and showered, then wrote out the dedication and lit the black and red candles.

When it came time to pin my hand to get blood, it hurt so much I couldn't do it for while. I focused intently on puncturing my skin, but the needle started bending almost in half. I could not get it to puncture. I only got a fleck or two of blood out which I swiped onto the page, but it was tiny.

I then read the dedication.

It has been said that if your heart was in it, then it doesn't matter how much blood you got out. But my heart was NOT in it because it hurt my finger so much trying to puncture with the needle, and then I got hardly any blood out. I FELT like I failed.

Then afterwards my finger was just throbbing and I wanted to clean up the ashes that were all over the place from the burned paper I wrote the dedication on. It made quite a mess. I also had to clean up the wax that blew all over the kitchen table when I blew out the candles.

So, it feels like a major fail. I don't know what the point is of blood-letting. Can anyone explain? It hurts like crazy. I've cut my hands tons of times from kitchen knives, and I've never enjoyed it.

I feel like a lost soul. I am no xian because that whole thing is devoid of spirituality, rationality, and meaning, and it is a slave religion. I'm no satanist because I'm not strong-minded enough to overcome the pain of making myself bleed.

What should I do?

You need to relax and understand that Satan is very understanding, on some things. When I did my dedication , almost 3 years ago, I was dreading cutting my finger because I had never deliberately cut myself. But instead of trying to prickly my finger I just overcame my phobia and breathed in and did a quick slice. And I also had ash on the candle and I also got wax everywhere! But that didn't distract me from meditating for the first time on the feeling that overwhelmed me after burning the paper. But after the candle burnt to nothing, which didn't take even 3 minutes even though it was a BIG THICK candle. But either way it doesn't matter. The way to really get database acceptance is found within being able to cut yourself or if you can avoid getting melted wax all over your carpet lmao! But is actually found within what you do with your life now that you have started anew. Personally I would recommend downloading the spiritual warfare program
(recommended) or do the meditations strait off the JoS page. Or do some reading, lol because there is so much to understand behind this religion. But that will come in time. Good luck! Hail Satan!

 

[Mc Rundown]

You sound like you have so much self pity. Father Satan loves you,He understands you the way you are and wants you to be happy. When I did my dedication I cudnt get enough blood out but my heart was in it. Though at first I kept asking my self if I did it right. Then thanx to the e groups somebody posted a message and explained that what was in the heart was more important than the amount of blood it also had a link to the Jos web dedication section. I studied the site and I just knew from their that it worked. I started my power meditation program and I started seeing positive indicators described on the site. I would advise you to start your power meditation and DON'T REDO the dedication ritual. just know it worked. HAIL SATAN




------------------------------

On Thu, Oct 11, 2012 10:47 PM PDT Daniel Carstens wrote:






------------------------------
On Thu, Oct 11, 2012 3:43 PM PDT joepostma wrote:

Today I planned on doing the ritual. I got home from work and showered, then wrote out the dedication and lit the black and red candles.

When it came time to pin my hand to get blood, it hurt so much I couldn't do it for while. I focused intently on puncturing my skin, but the needle started bending almost in half. I could not get it to puncture. I only got a fleck or two of blood out which I swiped onto the page, but it was tiny.

I then read the dedication.

It has been said that if your heart was in it, then it doesn't matter how much blood you got out. But my heart was NOT in it because it hurt my finger so much trying to puncture with the needle, and then I got hardly any blood out. I FELT like I failed.

Then afterwards my finger was just throbbing and I wanted to clean up the ashes that were all over the place from the burned paper I wrote the dedication on. It made quite a mess. I also had to clean up the wax that blew all over the kitchen table when I blew out the candles.

So, it feels like a major fail. I don't know what the point is of blood-letting. Can anyone explain? It hurts like crazy. I've cut my hands tons of times from kitchen knives, and I've never enjoyed it.

I feel like a lost soul. I am no xian because that whole thing is devoid of spirituality, rationality, and meaning, and it is a slave religion. I'm no satanist because I'm not strong-minded enough to overcome the pain of making myself bleed.

What should I do?

You need to relax and understand that Satan is very understanding, on some things. When I did my dedication , almost 3 years ago, I was dreading cutting my finger because I had never deliberately cut myself. But instead of trying to prickly my finger I just overcame my phobia and breathed in and did a quick slice. And I also had ash on the candle and I also got wax everywhere! But that didn't distract me from meditating for the first time on the feeling that overwhelmed me after burning the paper. But after the candle burnt to nothing, which didn't take even 3 minutes even though it was a BIG THICK candle. But either way it doesn't matter. The way to really get database acceptance is found within being able to cut yourself or if you can avoid getting melted wax all over your carpet lmao! But is actually found within what you do with your life now that you have started anew. Personally I would recommend downloading the spiritual warfare program
(recommended) or do the meditations strait off the JoS page. Or do some reading, lol because there is so much to understand behind this religion. But that will come in time. Good luck! Hail Satan!

 

[Sasuke]

I don't know what u should do. But the blood letting is a sign to Satan that you are Not afraid to draw blood and to put urself in pain for Satan. Coz I've heard that when we "raise the Devil" the kundalini serpent. It hurts like a Fuck

So its like total trust that u have with Satan or to show ur trust in him, to hurt yourself. I am not sure of this, but I feel like this is what it means

I could be wrong. Anybody know more?Sent via my BlackBerry from Vodacom - let your email find you!From: "joepostma" <joepostma@... Sender: Date: Thu, 11 Oct 2012 22:43:29 -0000To: ReplyTo: Subject: Dedication ritual fail #2
  Today I planned on doing the ritual. I got home from work and showered, then wrote out the dedication and lit the black and red candles.

When it came time to pin my hand to get blood, it hurt so much I couldn't do it for while. I focused intently on puncturing my skin, but the needle started bending almost in half. I could not get it to puncture. I only got a fleck or two of blood out which I swiped onto the page, but it was tiny.

I then read the dedication.

It has been said that if your heart was in it, then it doesn't matter how much blood you got out. But my heart was NOT in it because it hurt my finger so much trying to puncture with the needle, and then I got hardly any blood out. I FELT like I failed.

Then afterwards my finger was just throbbing and I wanted to clean up the ashes that were all over the place from the burned paper I wrote the dedication on. It made quite a mess. I also had to clean up the wax that blew all over the kitchen table when I blew out the candles.

So, it feels like a major fail. I don't know what the point is of blood-letting. Can anyone explain? It hurts like crazy. I've cut my hands tons of times from kitchen knives, and I've never enjoyed it.

I feel like a lost soul. I am no xian because that whole thing is devoid of spirituality, rationality, and meaning, and it is a slave religion. I'm no satanist because I'm not strong-minded enough to overcome the pain of making myself bleed.

What should I do?

 

[joepostma]

The needle must have been extremely dull and too week because it was literally bending in half while I was trying to puncture my skin. I have an extremely sharp knife somewhere I just need to find, and I can hone it a little more on my spiderco set.

I felt foolish and silly yesterday after all that, and was sorry for myself etc. etc....and then I decided you know what, all I have is myself, and I have some good things going that I'm working on. I'm going to do the best I can on these things because they're really all I have at this point. Stop feeling so foolish and weak and being retarded like a neglected child (which I was haha) because I am a grown man and I have things to offer the world. So work on those and see where it leads.

I will probably do the ritual again today and do it properly. I bought some really wonderful tall black & red homemade beeswax candles and I really like them for some reason...candles of all things. They symbolize something for me...something that's mine, for myself, sort of like a boldness. They make me feel good, knowing what I bought them for. The place I bought them from is called "The Beehive" who's phone number is 2622 - there's a reference to Egypt (bees) and the phone number is obviously a reference to Satan. They had homemade bars of soap with pentagrams on them too. I pretended I was innocently buying candles for my wife, but they must have seen through me lol.

HAIL Satan!

--- In , Daniel Carstens <carstensd13@... wrote:






------------------------------
On Thu, Oct 11, 2012 3:43 PM PDT joepostma wrote:

Today I planned on doing the ritual. I got home from work and showered, then wrote out the dedication and lit the black and red candles.

When it came time to pin my hand to get blood, it hurt so much I couldn't do it for while. I focused intently on puncturing my skin, but the needle started bending almost in half. I could not get it to puncture. I only got a fleck or two of blood out which I swiped onto the page, but it was tiny.

I then read the dedication.

It has been said that if your heart was in it, then it doesn't matter how much blood you got out. But my heart was NOT in it because it hurt my finger so much trying to puncture with the needle, and then I got hardly any blood out. I FELT like I failed.

Then afterwards my finger was just throbbing and I wanted to clean up the ashes that were all over the place from the burned paper I wrote the dedication on. It made quite a mess. I also had to clean up the wax that blew all over the kitchen table when I blew out the candles.

So, it feels like a major fail. I don't know what the point is of blood-letting. Can anyone explain? It hurts like crazy. I've cut my hands tons of times from kitchen knives, and I've never enjoyed it.

I feel like a lost soul. I am no xian because that whole thing is devoid of spirituality, rationality, and meaning, and it is a slave religion. I'm no satanist because I'm not strong-minded enough to overcome the pain of making myself bleed.

What should I do?

You need to relax and understand that Satan is very understanding, on some things. When I did my dedication , almost 3 years ago, I was dreading cutting my finger because I had never deliberately cut myself. But instead of trying to prickly my finger I just overcame my phobia and breathed in and did a quick slice. And I also had ash on the candle and I also got wax everywhere! But that didn't distract me from meditating for the first time on the feeling that overwhelmed me after burning the paper. But after the candle burnt to nothing, which didn't take even 3 minutes even though it was a BIG THICK candle. But either way it doesn't matter. The way to really get database acceptance is found within being able to cut yourself or if you can avoid getting melted wax all over your carpet lmao! But is actually found within what you do with your life now that you have started anew. Personally I would recommend downloading the spiritual warfare program
(recommended) or do the meditations strait off the JoS page. Or do some reading, lol because there is so much to understand behind this religion. But that will come in time. Good luck! Hail Satan!

 

[backed_by_love]

I did my own dedication today... Part of the pain is just the FEAR of the pain. Pain is a mental thing, and its exacerbated by fear. I had to poke and squeeze and wiggle my skin around three times before I could get any blood out. Don't psych yourself out. Do some quiet time meditation before hand, and maybe go outside for the ritual. I did mine in a nice patch of sunshine and crumpled the ashes into the wind. It was kind of poetic. Hard to feel stress with the sun warming you and giving you energy yeah?

--- In , "joepostma" <joepostma@... wrote:

Today I planned on doing the ritual. I got home from work and showered, then wrote out the dedication and lit the black and red candles.

When it came time to pin my hand to get blood, it hurt so much I couldn't do it for while. I focused intently on puncturing my skin, but the needle started bending almost in half. I could not get it to puncture. I only got a fleck or two of blood out which I swiped onto the page, but it was tiny.

I then read the dedication.

It has been said that if your heart was in it, then it doesn't matter how much blood you got out. But my heart was NOT in it because it hurt my finger so much trying to puncture with the needle, and then I got hardly any blood out. I FELT like I failed.

Then afterwards my finger was just throbbing and I wanted to clean up the ashes that were all over the place from the burned paper I wrote the dedication on. It made quite a mess. I also had to clean up the wax that blew all over the kitchen table when I blew out the candles.

So, it feels like a major fail. I don't know what the point is of blood-letting. Can anyone explain? It hurts like crazy. I've cut my hands tons of times from kitchen knives, and I've never enjoyed it.

I feel like a lost soul. I am no xian because that whole thing is devoid of spirituality, rationality, and meaning, and it is a slave religion. I'm no satanist because I'm not strong-minded enough to overcome the pain of making myself bleed.

What should I do?

 

[brian taulbee]

th[/IMG]</var>

 

[joepostma]

Yes, I probably do have a lot of self pity. I have no friends I don't know what I will do for work in the future and I feel like life is incredibly empty and vapid. I have an IQ of about 140 but being smart has just made me feel and be entirely separate from everyone around me and I feel no connection to anything. Intelligence has never counted for anything. My family wealth and my family was destroyed when I was young and I always just wanted to find real stable love in the world with a partner but any woman I have truly loved has always just used that love to hurt me and make me feel unworthy of love. My heart has been seared so that I can't experience love anymore AT ALL. I finally had to suppress the emotion of love so that I couldn't feel it anymore so that I couldn't get hurt from it anymore. Now I just feel "like", "appreciation", etc., but not love.

It's not quite self-pity, but maybe just abject and pure insecurity.

At one recent point I was doing research on what I could do to destroy my soul, because reincarnating is the last darn thing I want to do and I would prefer to just stop existing after I pass on. If this is what my soul chooses to do so that it can "grow and learn", then my retribution for all the pain and suffering and lack of any type of satisfaction in life is my soul's responsibility, and so I will do what I can to stop it from doing this to someone ever again. We all rightly hate YHWH for all the pain and suffering and evil it has caused...I hate my soul for incarnating into this sh*t hole.

I would prefer my soul to be destroyed after I pass on. Satan is my last stop and if whatever this (Satanism) is all about amounts to nothing but imagination and neuro-linguistic self-programming, then it won't be for me because I'm too smart to tell myself I love myself with affirmations like a Stuart Smalley clip from SNL.

The thing is I never really was physically abused that much...it was the mental & emotional trauma of witnessing violence and abuse that caused me to have a couple of mental/emotional nervous breakdowns as a child. I've never recovered from those. I just couldn't believe and handle that there was so much violence and hatred and trauma in this world. If my soul is here so that my person can learn to "get over it" so that my soul can grow, screw that, I'm not letting my soul do this to someone ever again!!

That leaves me two options: either break free of the cycle of reincarnation by achieving the Magnum Opus, or, destroy my soul so that it can never do this to someone ever again.

There's lots of writing on gnosis and the magnum opus etc. etc., but ultimately there's no evidence. Rationality has NEVER brought me any form of success. The only people who seem successful are idiots, and crooks.

--- In , Mc Rundown <mcrundown@... wrote:


You sound like you have so much self pity. Father Satan loves you,He understands you the way you are and wants you to be happy. When I did my dedication I cudnt get enough blood out but my heart was in it. Though at first I kept asking my self if I did it right. Then thanx to the e groups somebody posted a message and explained that what was in the heart was more important than the amount of blood it also had a link to the Jos web dedication section. I studied the site and I just knew from their that it worked. I started my power meditation program and I started seeing positive indicators described on the site. I would advise you to start your power meditation and DON'T REDO the dedication ritual. just know it worked. HAIL SATAN

 

[the_fire_starter666]

"There's lots of writing on gnosis and the magnum opus etc. etc., but ultimately there's no evidence"

Incorrect. There's lot of genetic evidence on the magnum opus. For starters search through the past posts, HP Don wrote a post about Telomerase and how it's the key to immortality and how many meditations are proven to increase telomerase. Actually, if people bother to do some research they'll find lot of evidence in these topics.

Ignoring things like that doesn't really make one "rational", just close-minded. Logic also includes accepting possibilities and having an open mind. Actually the so-called "skeptics" are usually worse and more close-minded than fundamentalist xians and in many cases they blatantly ignore or alter evidence that doesn't fit their pre-conceived belief about the supernatural.

And what's wrong with neuro-linguistic programming either? It's very useful and does change lives. And from what you say you only need to change your attitude and use NLP. That's how you fix that, it's only the negative situation and the mental states you have. I actually recommend doing that before coming to Satanism, deprogram yourself from the negative mindset you have first.

The thing is people who come for a quick fix and are desperate usually get disappointed. Not saying anything, but keep it as a warning or observation. However when I first came here, my main purpose for coming here is curiosity, I was interested in learning, gaining more knowledge. Then this changed after some time to the desire to discover my soul and learn more about it. I'm still interested in learning.

As it's been said, Satanism is about helping yourself, the Gods and Enki/Satan are here to give us knowledge which can use to help ourselves and guide us. Satanism is about self-reliance.

--- In , "joepostma" <joepostma@... wrote:

Yes, I probably do have a lot of self pity. I have no friends I don't know what I will do for work in the future and I feel like life is incredibly empty and vapid. I have an IQ of about 140 but being smart has just made me feel and be entirely separate from everyone around me and I feel no connection to anything. Intelligence has never counted for anything. My family wealth and my family was destroyed when I was young and I always just wanted to find real stable love in the world with a partner but any woman I have truly loved has always just used that love to hurt me and make me feel unworthy of love. My heart has been seared so that I can't experience love anymore AT ALL. I finally had to suppress the emotion of love so that I couldn't feel it anymore so that I couldn't get hurt from it anymore. Now I just feel "like", "appreciation", etc., but not love.

It's not quite self-pity, but maybe just abject and pure insecurity.

At one recent point I was doing research on what I could do to destroy my soul, because reincarnating is the last darn thing I want to do and I would prefer to just stop existing after I pass on. If this is what my soul chooses to do so that it can "grow and learn", then my retribution for all the pain and suffering and lack of any type of satisfaction in life is my soul's responsibility, and so I will do what I can to stop it from doing this to someone ever again. We all rightly hate YHWH for all the pain and suffering and evil it has caused...I hate my soul for incarnating into this sh*t hole.

I would prefer my soul to be destroyed after I pass on. Satan is my last stop and if whatever this (Satanism) is all about amounts to nothing but imagination and neuro-linguistic self-programming, then it won't be for me because I'm too smart to tell myself I love myself with affirmations like a Stuart Smalley clip from SNL.

The thing is I never really was physically abused that much...it was the mental & emotional trauma of witnessing violence and abuse that caused me to have a couple of mental/emotional nervous breakdowns as a child. I've never recovered from those. I just couldn't believe and handle that there was so much violence and hatred and trauma in this world. If my soul is here so that my person can learn to "get over it" so that my soul can grow, screw that, I'm not letting my soul do this to someone ever again!!

That leaves me two options: either break free of the cycle of reincarnation by achieving the Magnum Opus, or, destroy my soul so that it can never do this to someone ever again.

There's lots of writing on gnosis and the magnum opus etc. etc., but ultimately there's no evidence. Rationality has NEVER brought me any form of success. The only people who seem successful are idiots, and crooks.








--- In , Mc Rundown <mcrundown@ wrote:


You sound like you have so much self pity. Father Satan loves you,He understands you the way you are and wants you to be happy. When I did my dedication I cudnt get enough blood out but my heart was in it. Though at first I kept asking my self if I did it right. Then thanx to the e groups somebody posted a message and explained that what was in the heart was more important than the amount of blood it also had a link to the Jos web dedication section. I studied the site and I just knew from their that it worked. I started my power meditation program and I started seeing positive indicators described on the site. I would advise you to start your power meditation and DON'T REDO the dedication ritual. just know it worked. HAIL SATAN

 

[Brian Gibbons]

<td val[/IMG]You just sound to me to have a lot smarts but not a lot of practicle application.Just start doing a lot of meditations and Yoga and if you are like me your whole feeling about your life and who you are will change for the better.You will gain a self confidence that you never thought existed.But its not an over night thing it takes years.

Sent from Yahoo! Mail on Android [/TD]

From: joepostma <joepostma@...;
To: ;
Subject: Re: Dedication ritual fail #2
Sent: Sat, Oct 13, 2012 4:07:09 PM

<td val[/IMG]   Yes, I probably do have a lot of self pity. I have no friends I don't know what I will do for work in the future and I feel like life is incredibly empty and vapid. I have an IQ of about 140 but being smart has just made me feel and be entirely separate from everyone around me and I feel no connection to anything. Intelligence has never counted for anything. My family wealth and my family was destroyed when I was young and I always just wanted to find real stable love in the world with a partner but any woman I have truly loved has always just used that love to hurt me and make me feel unworthy of love. My heart has been seared so that I can't experience love anymore AT ALL. I finally had to suppress the emotion of love so that I couldn't feel it anymore so that I couldn't get hurt from it anymore. Now I just feel "like", "appreciation", etc., but not love.

It's not quite self-pity, but maybe just abject and pure insecurity.

At one recent point I was doing research on what I could do to destroy my soul, because reincarnating is the last darn thing I want to do and I would prefer to just stop existing after I pass on. If this is what my soul chooses to do so that it can "grow and learn", then my retribution for all the pain and suffering and lack of any type of satisfaction in life is my soul's responsibility, and so I will do what I can to stop it from doing this to someone ever again. We all rightly hate YHWH for all the pain and suffering and evil it has caused...I hate my soul for incarnating into this sh*t hole.

I would prefer my soul to be destroyed after I pass on. Satan is my last stop and if whatever this (Satanism) is all about amounts to nothing but imagination and neuro-linguistic self-programming, then it won't be for me because I'm too smart to tell myself I love myself with affirmations like a Stuart Smalley clip from SNL.

The thing is I never really was physically abused that much...it was the mental & emotional trauma of witnessing violence and abuse that caused me to have a couple of mental/emotional nervous breakdowns as a child. I've never recovered from those. I just couldn't believe and handle that there was so much violence and hatred and trauma in this world. If my soul is here so that my person can learn to "get over it" so that my soul can grow, screw that, I'm not letting my soul do this to someone ever again!!

That leaves me two options: either break free of the cycle of reincarnation by achieving the Magnum Opus, or, destroy my soul so that it can never do this to someone ever again.

There's lots of writing on gnosis and the magnum opus etc. etc., but ultimately there's no evidence. Rationality has NEVER brought me any form of success. The only people who seem successful are idiots, and crooks.

--- [/IMG], Mc Rundown <mcrundown@... wrote:


You sound like you have so much self pity. Father Satan loves you,He understands you the way you are and wants you to be happy. When I did my dedication I cudnt get enough blood out but my heart was in it. Though at first I kept asking my self if I did it right. Then thanx to the e groups somebody posted a message and explained that what was in the heart was more important than the amount of blood it also had a link to the Jos web dedication section. I studied the site and I just knew from their that it worked. I started my power meditation program and I started seeing positive indicators described on the site. I would advise you to start your power meditation and DON'T REDO the dedication ritual. just know it worked. HAIL SATAN

[/TD]

 

[Brian Gibbons]

<td val[/IMG]Totally even when I use blood for rituals now I prefer a razor.It hurst less and you get more blood then with a pin.And the other thing is a small cut heals faster then a hole.

Sent from Yahoo! Mail on Android [/TD]

From: brian taulbee <brainwaave2000@...;
To: ;
Subject: Re: Dedication ritual fail #2
Sent: Fri, Oct 12, 2012 1:28:17 PM

 

[John Doe]

On the JOS site, when they say "your heart has to be in it", they mean, do you really want to build a positive relationship with Satan? You felt like you failed the ritual because you're being a perfectionist about it, and made what you perceive as a mistake. What you fail to see is that you went out of your comfort zone for Satan. Satan appreciates that, believe me.

I estimate my own IQ at around a 120. If that score is correct I don't meet the criteria for an intellectually gifted person. However I live in a city (Detroit) and i'm a part of a community (African-American) where having a 3-digit IQ is damn near a crime, let alone having one that's above average. Plus, HP Pythia was a member of Mensa, and i'm pretty sure lots of other ppl hear have pretty high IQ's from the personality traits i've witnessed here (eccentricity, emotional sensitivity, thinking outside the box, rebeliousness etc.). So you ain't the only smarty here, hunty lol.

" imagination
and neuro-linguistic self-programming, then it won't be for me because I'm too
smart to tell myself I love myself with affirmations like a Stuart Smalley clip
from SNL."

Are you sure about that? It seems to me that you've told yourself time and time again that you're worthless, and never going to amount to anything. Did those affirmations not work?

I too was abuse horrible as a child. Sexually, emotionally, physically, religious, and neglected (emotionally, and physical). So if you ever want to talk about that i'm here for you.

This wanting to end your life tragedy comes from depression. That depression comes from not having a support system doing extreme times of need (while being abused for example), and in general.It also comes from having unique gifts and a unique outlook on life that may not seem valuble to most ppl. You want to end your life because everyone around is shitty towards you (shitty in general, really) and you feel like you can't do anything about it but take the abuse.

Coming here you no longer have to feel like that; Now you have a positive support system that only wants to see you progress, spiritually, mentally, and physically. Satan appreciates your unqiueness and high intellect and can guide you, and teach how to be productive with it even in this sheepish, dog eat dog world. Satan can give you power over your enemies! No longer do have to be their punching bags! All of that negative energy that they send to you, you can send right back!

You are a Satanist! If you stick with us, and strive to make your life better everyday, I guarantee you'll see positive changes!

Hail Satan, and stay strong brother!

--- In , "joepostma" <joepostma@... wrote:

Today I planned on doing the ritual. I got home from work and showered, then wrote out the dedication and lit the black and red candles.

When it came time to pin my hand to get blood, it hurt so much I couldn't do it for while. I focused intently on puncturing my skin, but the needle started bending almost in half. I could not get it to puncture. I only got a fleck or two of blood out which I swiped onto the page, but it was tiny.

I then read the dedication.

It has been said that if your heart was in it, then it doesn't matter how much blood you got out. But my heart was NOT in it because it hurt my finger so much trying to puncture with the needle, and then I got hardly any blood out. I FELT like I failed.

Then afterwards my finger was just throbbing and I wanted to clean up the ashes that were all over the place from the burned paper I wrote the dedication on. It made quite a mess. I also had to clean up the wax that blew all over the kitchen table when I blew out the candles.

So, it feels like a major fail. I don't know what the point is of blood-letting. Can anyone explain? It hurts like crazy. I've cut my hands tons of times from kitchen knives, and I've never enjoyed it.

I feel like a lost soul. I am no xian because that whole thing is devoid of spirituality, rationality, and meaning, and it is a slave religion. I'm no satanist because I'm not strong-minded enough to overcome the pain of making myself bleed.

What should I do?

 

[Sasuke]

I am sorry that you feel this way. I will be a friend here for you Sent via my BlackBerry from Vodacom - let your email find you!From: "joepostma" <joepostma@... Sender: Date: Sat, 13 Oct 2012 16:07:09 -0000To: ReplyTo: Subject: Re: Dedication ritual fail #2
  Yes, I probably do have a lot of self pity. I have no friends I don't know what I will do for work in the future and I feel like life is incredibly empty and vapid. I have an IQ of about 140 but being smart has just made me feel and be entirely separate from everyone around me and I feel no connection to anything. Intelligence has never counted for anything. My family wealth and my family was destroyed when I was young and I always just wanted to find real stable love in the world with a partner but any woman I have truly loved has always just used that love to hurt me and make me feel unworthy of love. My heart has been seared so that I can't experience love anymore AT ALL. I finally had to suppress the emotion of love so that I couldn't feel it anymore so that I couldn't get hurt from it anymore. Now I just feel "like", "appreciation", etc., but not love.

It's not quite self-pity, but maybe just abject and pure insecurity.

At one recent point I was doing research on what I could do to destroy my soul, because reincarnating is the last darn thing I want to do and I would prefer to just stop existing after I pass on. If this is what my soul chooses to do so that it can "grow and learn", then my retribution for all the pain and suffering and lack of any type of satisfaction in life is my soul's responsibility, and so I will do what I can to stop it from doing this to someone ever again. We all rightly hate YHWH for all the pain and suffering and evil it has caused...I hate my soul for incarnating into this sh*t hole.

I would prefer my soul to be destroyed after I pass on. Satan is my last stop and if whatever this (Satanism) is all about amounts to nothing but imagination and neuro-linguistic self-programming, then it won't be for me because I'm too smart to tell myself I love myself with affirmations like a Stuart Smalley clip from SNL.

The thing is I never really was physically abused that much...it was the mental & emotional trauma of witnessing violence and abuse that caused me to have a couple of mental/emotional nervous breakdowns as a child. I've never recovered from those. I just couldn't believe and handle that there was so much violence and hatred and trauma in this world. If my soul is here so that my person can learn to "get over it" so that my soul can grow, screw that, I'm not letting my soul do this to someone ever again!!

That leaves me two options: either break free of the cycle of reincarnation by achieving the Magnum Opus, or, destroy my soul so that it can never do this to someone ever again.

There's lots of writing on gnosis and the magnum opus etc. etc., but ultimately there's no evidence. Rationality has NEVER brought me any form of success. The only people who seem successful are idiots, and crooks.

--- In , Mc Rundown <mcrundown@... wrote:


You sound like you have so much self pity. Father Satan loves you,He understands you the way you are and wants you to be happy. When I did my dedication I cudnt get enough blood out but my heart was in it. Though at first I kept asking my self if I did it right. Then thanx to the e groups somebody posted a message and explained that what was in the heart was more important than the amount of blood it also had a link to the Jos web dedication section. I studied the site and I just knew from their that it worked. I started my power meditation program and I started seeing positive indicators described on the site. I would advise you to start your power meditation and DON'T REDO the dedication ritual. just know it worked. HAIL SATAN

 

[Daniel Carstens]

Don't even know what to say to this post. The most disrespectful thing was when you you were too smart to use neuro-linguistic programming. If you WERE smart you would know that the ability to tap into your subconscious mind and change your attidtude and eventually change the physical world with the power of the mind, then you would see the true power of this ability. This ability of the mind, just like everyother ability such as invoking and evoking the elements and etc, is a gift from ENKI. The only way you can heal your soul is from the inside.how else would you about doing this? taking medication, talking to a therapist, or ending your life isnt going to get you anywhere. Think about it. And destroy your soul? Energy cannot be created or destroyed, only transferred. Every aspect of the soul, even down to every emotion that you consciously or unconsciously have is electricity. Or even an idea is electricity net on a much smaller scale. Can you destroy
the happiness that you've had some point in time of your life. No. Because its a part of your soul and is going to stick to it. When you die your soul will be placed into the transmigration of souls whether you want to or not. I feel like this post could discourage people or give them doubts about Satan. For ducks sake meditate and use neuro-linguistics to stop the self loathing ant self pity. Stay strong, if you need to be dependent go to a church.



------------------------------

On Sat, Oct 13, 2012 9:07 AM PDT joepostma wrote:

Yes, I probably do have a lot of self pity. I have no friends I don't know what I will do for work in the future and I feel like life is incredibly empty and vapid. I have an IQ of about 140 but being smart has just made me feel and be entirely separate from everyone around me and I feel no connection to anything. Intelligence has never counted for anything. My family wealth and my family was destroyed when I was young and I always just wanted to find real stable love in the world with a partner but any woman I have truly loved has always just used that love to hurt me and make me feel unworthy of love. My heart has been seared so that I can't experience love anymore AT ALL. I finally had to suppress the emotion of love so that I couldn't feel it anymore so that I couldn't get hurt from it anymore. Now I just feel "like", "appreciation", etc., but not love.

It's not quite self-pity, but maybe just abject and pure insecurity.

At one recent point I was doing research on what I could do to destroy my soul, because reincarnating is the last darn thing I want to do and I would prefer to just stop existing after I pass on. If this is what my soul chooses to do so that it can "grow and learn", then my retribution for all the pain and suffering and lack of any type of satisfaction in life is my soul's responsibility, and so I will do what I can to stop it from doing this to someone ever again. We all rightly hate YHWH for all the pain and suffering and evil it has caused...I hate my soul for incarnating into this sh*t hole.

I would prefer my soul to be destroyed after I pass on. Satan is my last stop and if whatever this (Satanism) is all about amounts to nothing but imagination and neuro-linguistic self-programming, then it won't be for me because I'm too smart to tell myself I love myself with affirmations like a Stuart Smalley clip from SNL.

The thing is I never really was physically abused that much...it was the mental & emotional trauma of witnessing violence and abuse that caused me to have a couple of mental/emotional nervous breakdowns as a child. I've never recovered from those. I just couldn't believe and handle that there was so much violence and hatred and trauma in this world. If my soul is here so that my person can learn to "get over it" so that my soul can grow, screw that, I'm not letting my soul do this to someone ever again!!

That leaves me two options: either break free of the cycle of reincarnation by achieving the Magnum Opus, or, destroy my soul so that it can never do this to someone ever again.

There's lots of writing on gnosis and the magnum opus etc. etc., but ultimately there's no evidence. Rationality has NEVER brought me any form of success. The only people who seem successful are idiots, and crooks.








--- In , Mc Rundown <mcrundown@... wrote:


You sound like you have so much self pity. Father Satan loves you,He understands you the way you are and wants you to be happy. When I did my dedication I cudnt get enough blood out but my heart was in it. Though at first I kept asking my self if I did it right. Then thanx to the e groups somebody posted a message and explained that what was in the heart was more important than the amount of blood it also had a link to the Jos web dedication section. I studied the site and I just knew from their that it worked. I started my power meditation program and I started seeing positive indicators described on the site. I would advise you to start your power meditation and DON'T REDO the dedication ritual. just know it worked. HAIL SATAN

 

[nicknesredna]

I recommend everyone to use a fingerpricker like diabetics do. They are not painful at all compared to razors or knifes and it is easy to extract the blood as they were made for it. It also takes away the fear for newcomers as you do not have to actually cut your self. It also heals within a minute or so.

The most common brand I think is Accu-Check like this one:
https://www.accu-chek.co.uk/gb/products ... xplus.html

They can be bought at almost any pharmacy or CVS.

--- In , Brian Gibbons <briangibbons20@... wrote:

Totally even when I use blood for rituals now I prefer a razor.It hurst less and you get more blood then with a pin.And the other thing is a  small cut heals faster then a hole.


Sent from Yahoo! Mail on Android

 

[malcolmalexander666]

LMAO so true... It's amazing after ward's the joy it brings you to know you have sacrificed a small portion of your life blood. And really it is all fear to some. Which I can't understand because think of all the times you have maimed and bled all over you self as a child accidentally. That's what causes this so called fear. Really though do it safely and use sterile instruments and be a little theatrical and have fun. What's.a little blood for our father. Remeber its the JOY OF SATAN.

--- In , brian taulbee <brainwaave2000@... wrote:

this is for those who havent dedicated due to fear of their own blood, pain, etc. when it comes time to do this, forget the pin in the finger thing. take a blade, grit your teeth if you must, and take a slice into the meaty part of your palm, quickly and with purpose. picture yourself as clint eastwood as josey wales making a pact with ten bears in the movie. i know this sounds goofy and some people havent seen this classic movie, but grit and determination are needed to cut yourself. just dont cut TOO deep that you end up needing stitches. sure it hurts a bit and will be very annoying for about a week, especially if you work with you hands. but you will get plenty enough blood. just do it quickly and be done with it. dont be a wuss.
 
HAIL SATAN!!
HAIL ASTAROTH!!

 

[the_fire_starter666]

Note how his entire post is "OMG I'm SOOO smart and so da entire world suxx cuz it can get together with my smartness so I wanna erase my soul". I doubt any real smart person would say that, in fact from what I've seen smart people work to make the world better and use their intelligence and talents to improve it. Smart people always move and invent and construct new things and in make cases they make new discoveries that bring great results, and he didn't show that he can do that.

--- In , Daniel Carstens <carstensd13@... wrote:


Don't even know what to say to this post. The most disrespectful thing was when you you were too smart to use neuro-linguistic programming. If you WERE smart you would know that the ability to tap into your subconscious mind and change your attidtude and eventually change the physical world with the power of the mind, then you would see the true power of this ability. This ability of the mind, just like everyother ability such as invoking and evoking the elements and etc, is a gift from ENKI. The only way you can heal your soul is from the inside.how else would you about doing this? taking medication, talking to a therapist, or ending your life isnt going to get you anywhere. Think about it. And destroy your soul? Energy cannot be created or destroyed, only transferred. Every aspect of the soul, even down to every emotion that you consciously or unconsciously have is electricity. Or even an idea is electricity net on a much smaller scale. Can you destroy
the happiness that you've had some point in time of your life. No. Because its a part of your soul and is going to stick to it. When you die your soul will be placed into the transmigration of souls whether you want to or not. I feel like this post could discourage people or give them doubts about Satan. For ducks sake meditate and use neuro-linguistics to stop the self loathing ant self pity. Stay strong, if you need to be dependent go to a church.



------------------------------
On Sat, Oct 13, 2012 9:07 AM PDT joepostma wrote:

Yes, I probably do have a lot of self pity. I have no friends I don't know what I will do for work in the future and I feel like life is incredibly empty and vapid. I have an IQ of about 140 but being smart has just made me feel and be entirely separate from everyone around me and I feel no connection to anything. Intelligence has never counted for anything. My family wealth and my family was destroyed when I was young and I always just wanted to find real stable love in the world with a partner but any woman I have truly loved has always just used that love to hurt me and make me feel unworthy of love. My heart has been seared so that I can't experience love anymore AT ALL. I finally had to suppress the emotion of love so that I couldn't feel it anymore so that I couldn't get hurt from it anymore. Now I just feel "like", "appreciation", etc., but not love.

It's not quite self-pity, but maybe just abject and pure insecurity.

At one recent point I was doing research on what I could do to destroy my soul, because reincarnating is the last darn thing I want to do and I would prefer to just stop existing after I pass on. If this is what my soul chooses to do so that it can "grow and learn", then my retribution for all the pain and suffering and lack of any type of satisfaction in life is my soul's responsibility, and so I will do what I can to stop it from doing this to someone ever again. We all rightly hate YHWH for all the pain and suffering and evil it has caused...I hate my soul for incarnating into this sh*t hole.

I would prefer my soul to be destroyed after I pass on. Satan is my last stop and if whatever this (Satanism) is all about amounts to nothing but imagination and neuro-linguistic self-programming, then it won't be for me because I'm too smart to tell myself I love myself with affirmations like a Stuart Smalley clip from SNL.

The thing is I never really was physically abused that much...it was the mental & emotional trauma of witnessing violence and abuse that caused me to have a couple of mental/emotional nervous breakdowns as a child. I've never recovered from those. I just couldn't believe and handle that there was so much violence and hatred and trauma in this world. If my soul is here so that my person can learn to "get over it" so that my soul can grow, screw that, I'm not letting my soul do this to someone ever again!!

That leaves me two options: either break free of the cycle of reincarnation by achieving the Magnum Opus, or, destroy my soul so that it can never do this to someone ever again.

There's lots of writing on gnosis and the magnum opus etc. etc., but ultimately there's no evidence. Rationality has NEVER brought me any form of success. The only people who seem successful are idiots, and crooks.








--- In , Mc Rundown <mcrundown@ wrote:


You sound like you have so much self pity. Father Satan loves you,He understands you the way you are and wants you to be happy. When I did my dedication I cudnt get enough blood out but my heart was in it. Though at first I kept asking my self if I did it right. Then thanx to the e groups somebody posted a message and explained that what was in the heart was more important than the amount of blood it also had a link to the Jos web dedication section. I studied the site and I just knew from their that it worked. I started my power meditation program and I started seeing positive indicators described on the site. I would advise you to start your power meditation and DON'T REDO the dedication ritual. just know it worked. HAIL SATAN

 

[jonathon_billing]

--- In , "joepostma" <joepostma@... wrote:

Yes, I probably do have a lot of self pity. I have no friends I don't know what I will do for work in the future and I feel like life is incredibly empty and vapid. I have an IQ of about 140 but being smart has just made me feel and be entirely separate from everyone around me and I feel no connection to anything.

*****There are groups out there for people with your IQ. Magick can be used to get friends/girlfriend and what not. You can lower your intelligence with magick as well. I've used it A LOT to become more intelligent. It's an obsession of mine.

Intelligence has never counted for anything. My family wealth and my family was destroyed when I was young and I always just wanted to find real stable love in the world with a partner but any woman I have truly loved has always just used that love to hurt me and make me feel unworthy of love. My heart has been seared so that I can't experience love anymore AT ALL. I finally had to suppress the emotion of love so that I couldn't feel it anymore so that I couldn't get hurt from it anymore. Now I just feel "like", "appreciation", etc., but not love.

It's not quite self-pity, but maybe just abject and pure insecurity.

*****You may want to look into your astrology for help with life problems/figuring stuff out.
*****I suspect it will be awhile before I find the right woman. I'll probably have to become a God first, but at least then I know that the woman I finally settle down with will be the right one.

At one recent point I was doing research on what I could do to destroy my soul,

*****I've been down this road. When I was going thru some kundalini madness/spiritual attack/saturn opposition. Horrible times.

because reincarnating is the last darn thing I want to do and I would prefer to just stop existing after I pass on. If this is what my soul chooses to do so that it can "grow and learn", then my retribution for all the pain and suffering and lack of any type of satisfaction in life is my soul's responsibility, and so I will do what I can to stop it from doing this to someone ever again. We all rightly hate YHWH for all the pain and suffering and evil it has caused...I hate my soul for incarnating into this sh*t hole.

I would prefer my soul to be destroyed after I pass on. Satan is my last stop and if whatever this (Satanism) is all about amounts to nothing but imagination and neuro-linguistic self-programming, then it won't be for me because I'm too smart to tell myself I love myself with affirmations like a Stuart Smalley clip from SNL.

The thing is I never really was physically abused that much...it was the mental & emotional trauma of witnessing violence and abuse that caused me to have a couple of mental/emotional nervous breakdowns as a child. I've never recovered from those. I just couldn't believe and handle that there was so much violence and hatred and trauma in this world. If my soul is here so that my person can learn to "get over it" so that my soul can grow, screw that, I'm not letting my soul do this to someone ever again!!

That leaves me two options: either break free of the cycle of reincarnation by achieving the Magnum Opus, or, destroy my soul so that it can never do this to someone ever again.

There's lots of writing on gnosis and the magnum opus etc. etc., but ultimately there's no evidence. Rationality has NEVER brought me any form of success. The only people who seem successful are idiots, and crooks.

*****I take the scientific approach to magick. I've done enough amusing stuff with it to know that magick works.
*****I highly value rationality. Astrology plays a massive part in who turns out successful or not. Unfortunately someone can be truly brilliant but still get fucked over by Saturn.

--- In , Mc Rundown <mcrundown@ wrote:


You sound like you have so much self pity. Father Satan loves you,He understands you the way you are and wants you to be happy. When I did my dedication I cudnt get enough blood out but my heart was in it. Though at first I kept asking my self if I did it right. Then thanx to the e groups somebody posted a message and explained that what was in the heart was more important than the amount of blood it also had a link to the Jos web dedication section. I studied the site and I just knew from their that it worked. I started my power meditation program and I started seeing positive indicators described on the site. I would advise you to start your power meditation and DON'T REDO the dedication ritual. just know it worked. HAIL SATAN