Dear friends I need your help

[luvpuppy_uk]

Dear Friends

Not so long ago I found the joyofsatan website and did away with all my fear and embraced father. It was a sigh of great relief for me. But all this is in secret for I am like a prisoner in a house full of roman catholic religion. No I'm not a schoolkid but a 43 year old gay man.

I used to live in the UK where I had met my partner and I used to by fairly happy back then (this is going back about 4-5 years). I believed in what my parents said to me and I came out to Portugal and introduced my partner to my family. Then the nightmare began.

To cut a long story short my partner abandoned me here with debts I am having difficulty paying. I have no friends, no life, no anything. Totally cut off from having a normal life like everyone takes for granted. I have prayed to Father and Lucifuge daily, many times a day begging assistance of some kind, some kind of response, but my mind is tortured by loss, grief and despair. Indeed I have suffered this now for at least 8 months.

Dear friends please try to see this for exactly what I am saying. I'm not exaggerating. It's a lot worse than what I can put into words. When my partner abandoned me here I had no choice but to come and live with my parents and they will NEVER help me to escape and rebuild my life. You will say that we always have a choice but no I had no choice. You will perhaps analyse and look at my situation based on the quality of life you yourselves are experiencing, in a country where there are helps we dont have here and an infrustructure we dont have here in the area where I am. It would take me many pages of writing to explain in detail everything and make you all understand just how screwed I really am. It is my hope to write it all down someday when I manage to escape from here. As for my parents, well they do everything imaginable to make sure I never leave. My partner knew this is what would happen to me if he abandoned me here and the cruelty of it destroys me inside. Indeed he planned it all so perfectly, waited until I was the most vulnerable and then he destroyed me and left me with nothing. Perhaps I deserved it.

I earn less in a month than what most of you earn in a week and it will take me years to save up enough money to escape from here from the measly pittance I make. I will be so old and haggard nobody is ever going to look at me again. I play the lottery weekly and cry and pray for assistance but nothing happens. I've tried to make contact with Father and/or Lucifuge through prayer and pendulums but my heart is tortured and broken and I'm unable to do so. I can't trust the responses I receive. I'm sure I imagine most of it and this house with all its religious shit is driving me crazy. They even have a chapel in this fucking house!!! Oh fuck I can't express it to you. There are no words.

Yes i'm a broken man even though after embracing father on one level I feel relief and love towards him. The joyofsatan website showed me its ok to be the way I am. Organised religion can kiss my ass!!! But even so I feel like a caged animal and I'm so full of intense hatred for my ex partner and my family. It consumes me daily. On all levels its destroying my mind, heart and soul and I howl with tears some nights when I know everyone is asleep and can't hear me.

So what I'm asking you dear friends is if one of you or any of you who can actually make contact with Father and/or Lucifuge and do receive responses, would you do me the great kindness of asking about me and if they are going to help me and when I can expect to escape from this nightmare. This kind of life is destroying my mental and physical health and I have very little hope left to me. I'm so numb and hollow inside. I hope one of you can help me.

I want to escape from here. Return to the UK and find someone, make a friend with someone, like some of the wonderful people on here and learn about father and come into my own power and make up for all the wasted years of my life. I cannot express to any of you the anguish inside. There are no words.

I've written enough. I don't know what else to say. If any of you or just one of you can connect to my soul and feel the anguish then oh please do me the kindness of contacting Father/Lucifuge and relaying the responses or whatever it is I need to do for them to help me. I have no hope left but Father. He is my only hope.

Blessings to you all

Paul

 

[in_his_name_666]

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "luvpuppy_uk" <luvpuppy_uk@... wrote:

Dear Friends

Not so long ago I found the joyofsatan website and did away with all my fear and embraced father. It was a sigh of great relief for me. But all this is in secret for I am like a prisoner in a house full of roman catholic religion. No I'm not a schoolkid but a 43 year old gay man.

I used to live in the UK where I had met my partner and I used to by fairly happy back then (this is going back about 4-5 years). I believed in what my parents said to me and I came out to Portugal and introduced my partner to my family. Then the nightmare began.

To cut a long story short my partner abandoned me here with debts I am having difficulty paying. I have no friends, no life, no anything. Totally cut off from having a normal life like everyone takes for granted. I have prayed to Father and Lucifuge daily, many times a day begging assistance of some kind, some kind of response, but my mind is tortured by loss, grief and despair. Indeed I have suffered this now for at least 8 months.

Dear friends please try to see this for exactly what I am saying. I'm not exaggerating. It's a lot worse than what I can put into words. When my partner abandoned me here I had no choice but to come and live with my parents and they will NEVER help me to escape and rebuild my life. You will say that we always have a choice but no I had no choice. You will perhaps analyse and look at my situation based on the quality of life you yourselves are experiencing, in a country where there are helps we dont have here and an infrustructure we dont have here in the area where I am. It would take me many pages of writing to explain in detail everything and make you all understand just how screwed I really am. It is my hope to write it all down someday when I manage to escape from here. As for my parents, well they do everything imaginable to make sure I never leave. My partner knew this is what would happen to me if he abandoned me here and the cruelty of it destroys me inside. Indeed he planned it all so perfectly, waited until I was the most vulnerable and then he destroyed me and left me with nothing. Perhaps I deserved it.

I earn less in a month than what most of you earn in a week and it will take me years to save up enough money to escape from here from the measly pittance I make. I will be so old and haggard nobody is ever going to look at me again. I play the lottery weekly and cry and pray for assistance but nothing happens. I've tried to make contact with Father and/or Lucifuge through prayer and pendulums but my heart is tortured and broken and I'm unable to do so. I can't trust the responses I receive. I'm sure I imagine most of it and this house with all its religious shit is driving me crazy. They even have a chapel in this fucking house!!! Oh fuck I can't express it to you. There are no words.

Yes i'm a broken man even though after embracing father on one level I feel relief and love towards him. The joyofsatan website showed me its ok to be the way I am. Organised religion can kiss my ass!!! But even so I feel like a caged animal and I'm so full of intense hatred for my ex partner and my family. It consumes me daily. On all levels its destroying my mind, heart and soul and I howl with tears some nights when I know everyone is asleep and can't hear me.

So what I'm asking you dear friends is if one of you or any of you who can actually make contact with Father and/or Lucifuge and do receive responses, would you do me the great kindness of asking about me and if they are going to help me and when I can expect to escape from this nightmare. This kind of life is destroying my mental and physical health and I have very little hope left to me. I'm so numb and hollow inside. I hope one of you can help me.

I want to escape from here. Return to the UK and find someone, make a friend with someone, like some of the wonderful people on here and learn about father and come into my own power and make up for all the wasted years of my life. I cannot express to any of you the anguish inside. There are no words.

I've written enough. I don't know what else to say. If any of you or just one of you can connect to my soul and feel the anguish then oh please do me the kindness of contacting Father/Lucifuge and relaying the responses or whatever it is I need to do for them to help me. I have no hope left but Father. He is my only hope.

Blessings to you all

Paul







Well my friend, All I can say is keep strong and dont give up, Thats what the xians do, they give up and turn to their god to do everything for them. You are not helpless like they are. I am 22 and I still live with my parents who are xians as well, so I kind of have an idea of what you r going through. My advice is, you are the best person to communicate to father about yourself because whether you know it or not you do have a special bond. I dont know if this will help either but when ever I am depressed, angry, or sad I meditate and pray to father. I know he hears me but it calms me down a lot as well. Find the strength to push on within your self. To me, I think of the hard times we as human beings go through as a test. If you can continue your relationship with father throughout your tough times and still maintain your faith(I know a xian word but its all I could think of) then you will be rewarded in time. I remember something HP Maxine Dietrich said "Father stresses patience"(dont know if thats the exact quote). The xians want everything know right at this minute no questions asked. We as satanists recognize the need for patience. So in conclusion I would like to say keep up the good fight and hang in there, I am in a similar situation my friend. If u ever want to talk just shoot me an IM.

Hail Satan and may he reign forever!!!!!

 

[derekthehellviking]

Wow, that does sound horrible! I'll definitely keep you in my thoughts! I don't really see or hear Satan in person but I'll try sending my thoughts to Him about you. I'm confident that He will help you if you are indeed in trouble. Not only do I think will Satan aid you out of your situation but it's likely that he will also help you get vengeance. Surely there isn't anything you could have done to deserve such treacherous betrayal from your former partner.

My situation is somewhat similar in a few ways to yours, expect not to such an extreme degree. Other than trying to speak to Father, the only other thing I can do for you is extend my friendship. Never give up! You can be free! Not only that but people are here for you like me, the demons, and other Satanists here. In the meantime, you might want to see if you can do some meditations in your spare time. You can find some on the Joy of Satan site. These meditations will help empower you. I hope things turn around for you very soon! I think it's outrageous that a Satanist has to put up with such Christian morons! None of these worms will get away with what they have put you through! Especially not if I and the demons have anything to say about it! Be proud for what you now are, Paul. An enemy of Christianity and its false god, Jehovah!

 

[hong_lian_fa]

In a way I can understand your situation, and I'm very sorry you have to go trough this as well.

Please remain strong and believe that you will get trough this. Trust in Satan for he will be there to guide you.
You can not let your parents hold you back. No matter how painful it may be to leave. Try to save up and go to where you would like to be.

If he abandoned you, he was not worth it. You deserve better and you WILL find better.

I wish I could help you. But know that if you ever need someone to talk to I will be here. Feel free to contact me any time.

I wish you all the best of luck.

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "luvpuppy_uk" <luvpuppy_uk@... wrote:

Dear Friends

Not so long ago I found the joyofsatan website and did away with all my fear and embraced father. It was a sigh of great relief for me. But all this is in secret for I am like a prisoner in a house full of roman catholic religion. No I'm not a schoolkid but a 43 year old gay man.

I used to live in the UK where I had met my partner and I used to by fairly happy back then (this is going back about 4-5 years). I believed in what my parents said to me and I came out to Portugal and introduced my partner to my family. Then the nightmare began.

To cut a long story short my partner abandoned me here with debts I am having difficulty paying. I have no friends, no life, no anything. Totally cut off from having a normal life like everyone takes for granted. I have prayed to Father and Lucifuge daily, many times a day begging assistance of some kind, some kind of response, but my mind is tortured by loss, grief and despair. Indeed I have suffered this now for at least 8 months.

Dear friends please try to see this for exactly what I am saying. I'm not exaggerating. It's a lot worse than what I can put into words. When my partner abandoned me here I had no choice but to come and live with my parents and they will NEVER help me to escape and rebuild my life. You will say that we always have a choice but no I had no choice. You will perhaps analyse and look at my situation based on the quality of life you yourselves are experiencing, in a country where there are helps we dont have here and an infrustructure we dont have here in the area where I am. It would take me many pages of writing to explain in detail everything and make you all understand just how screwed I really am. It is my hope to write it all down someday when I manage to escape from here. As for my parents, well they do everything imaginable to make sure I never leave. My partner knew this is what would happen to me if he abandoned me here and the cruelty of it destroys me inside. Indeed he planned it all so perfectly, waited until I was the most vulnerable and then he destroyed me and left me with nothing. Perhaps I deserved it.

I earn less in a month than what most of you earn in a week and it will take me years to save up enough money to escape from here from the measly pittance I make. I will be so old and haggard nobody is ever going to look at me again. I play the lottery weekly and cry and pray for assistance but nothing happens. I've tried to make contact with Father and/or Lucifuge through prayer and pendulums but my heart is tortured and broken and I'm unable to do so. I can't trust the responses I receive. I'm sure I imagine most of it and this house with all its religious shit is driving me crazy. They even have a chapel in this fucking house!!! Oh fuck I can't express it to you. There are no words.

Yes i'm a broken man even though after embracing father on one level I feel relief and love towards him. The joyofsatan website showed me its ok to be the way I am. Organised religion can kiss my ass!!! But even so I feel like a caged animal and I'm so full of intense hatred for my ex partner and my family. It consumes me daily. On all levels its destroying my mind, heart and soul and I howl with tears some nights when I know everyone is asleep and can't hear me.

So what I'm asking you dear friends is if one of you or any of you who can actually make contact with Father and/or Lucifuge and do receive responses, would you do me the great kindness of asking about me and if they are going to help me and when I can expect to escape from this nightmare. This kind of life is destroying my mental and physical health and I have very little hope left to me. I'm so numb and hollow inside. I hope one of you can help me.

I want to escape from here. Return to the UK and find someone, make a friend with someone, like some of the wonderful people on here and learn about father and come into my own power and make up for all the wasted years of my life. I cannot express to any of you the anguish inside. There are no words.

I've written enough. I don't know what else to say. If any of you or just one of you can connect to my soul and feel the anguish then oh please do me the kindness of contacting Father/Lucifuge and relaying the responses or whatever it is I need to do for them to help me. I have no hope left but Father. He is my only hope.

Blessings to you all

Paul

 

[virdux]

Often the greatest despair comes before a major transformation. There is no easy way out. There is no growth without pain. Those who think otherwise are naive. Accept this as your path, don't resist it, accept it. Grow spiritually at a pace that's right for you, there is no rush. Lastly, always remember that you are not alone, all of us here are fellow Satanists and your brothers and sisters in Satan.

virdux

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "luvpuppy_uk" <luvpuppy_uk@... wrote:

Dear Friends

Not so long ago I found the joyofsatan website and did away with all my fear and embraced father. It was a sigh of great relief for me. But all this is in secret for I am like a prisoner in a house full of roman catholic religion. No I'm not a schoolkid but a 43 year old gay man.

I used to live in the UK where I had met my partner and I used to by fairly happy back then (this is going back about 4-5 years). I believed in what my parents said to me and I came out to Portugal and introduced my partner to my family. Then the nightmare began.

To cut a long story short my partner abandoned me here with debts I am having difficulty paying. I have no friends, no life, no anything. Totally cut off from having a normal life like everyone takes for granted. I have prayed to Father and Lucifuge daily, many times a day begging assistance of some kind, some kind of response, but my mind is tortured by loss, grief and despair. Indeed I have suffered this now for at least 8 months.

Dear friends please try to see this for exactly what I am saying. I'm not exaggerating. It's a lot worse than what I can put into words. When my partner abandoned me here I had no choice but to come and live with my parents and they will NEVER help me to escape and rebuild my life. You will say that we always have a choice but no I had no choice. You will perhaps analyse and look at my situation based on the quality of life you yourselves are experiencing, in a country where there are helps we dont have here and an infrustructure we dont have here in the area where I am. It would take me many pages of writing to explain in detail everything and make you all understand just how screwed I really am. It is my hope to write it all down someday when I manage to escape from here. As for my parents, well they do everything imaginable to make sure I never leave. My partner knew this is what would happen to me if he abandoned me here and the cruelty of it destroys me inside. Indeed he planned it all so perfectly, waited until I was the most vulnerable and then he destroyed me and left me with nothing. Perhaps I deserved it.

I earn less in a month than what most of you earn in a week and it will take me years to save up enough money to escape from here from the measly pittance I make. I will be so old and haggard nobody is ever going to look at me again. I play the lottery weekly and cry and pray for assistance but nothing happens. I've tried to make contact with Father and/or Lucifuge through prayer and pendulums but my heart is tortured and broken and I'm unable to do so. I can't trust the responses I receive. I'm sure I imagine most of it and this house with all its religious shit is driving me crazy. They even have a chapel in this fucking house!!! Oh fuck I can't express it to you. There are no words.

Yes i'm a broken man even though after embracing father on one level I feel relief and love towards him. The joyofsatan website showed me its ok to be the way I am. Organised religion can kiss my ass!!! But even so I feel like a caged animal and I'm so full of intense hatred for my ex partner and my family. It consumes me daily. On all levels its destroying my mind, heart and soul and I howl with tears some nights when I know everyone is asleep and can't hear me.

So what I'm asking you dear friends is if one of you or any of you who can actually make contact with Father and/or Lucifuge and do receive responses, would you do me the great kindness of asking about me and if they are going to help me and when I can expect to escape from this nightmare. This kind of life is destroying my mental and physical health and I have very little hope left to me. I'm so numb and hollow inside. I hope one of you can help me.

I want to escape from here. Return to the UK and find someone, make a friend with someone, like some of the wonderful people on here and learn about father and come into my own power and make up for all the wasted years of my life. I cannot express to any of you the anguish inside. There are no words.

I've written enough. I don't know what else to say. If any of you or just one of you can connect to my soul and feel the anguish then oh please do me the kindness of contacting Father/Lucifuge and relaying the responses or whatever it is I need to do for them to help me. I have no hope left but Father. He is my only hope.

Blessings to you all

Paul

 

[kreckian_lord]

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "virdux" <virdux@... wrote:

Often the greatest despair comes before a major transformation. There is no easy way out. There is no growth without pain. Those who think otherwise are naive. Accept this as your path, don't resist it, accept it. Grow spiritually at a pace that's right for you, there is no rush. Lastly, always remember that you are not alone, all of us here are fellow Satanists and your brothers and sisters in Satan.

virdux

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "luvpuppy_uk" <luvpuppy_uk@ wrote:

Dear Friends

Not so long ago I found the joyofsatan website and did away with all my fear and embraced father. It was a sigh of great relief for me. But all this is in secret for I am like a prisoner in a house full of roman catholic religion. No I'm not a schoolkid but a 43 year old gay man.

I used to live in the UK where I had met my partner and I used to by fairly happy back then (this is going back about 4-5 years). I believed in what my parents said to me and I came out to Portugal and introduced my partner to my family. Then the nightmare began.

To cut a long story short my partner abandoned me here with debts I am having difficulty paying. I have no friends, no life, no anything. Totally cut off from having a normal life like everyone takes for granted. I have prayed to Father and Lucifuge daily, many times a day begging assistance of some kind, some kind of response, but my mind is tortured by loss, grief and despair. Indeed I have suffered this now for at least 8 months.

Dear friends please try to see this for exactly what I am saying. I'm not exaggerating. It's a lot worse than what I can put into words. When my partner abandoned me here I had no choice but to come and live with my parents and they will NEVER help me to escape and rebuild my life. You will say that we always have a choice but no I had no choice. You will perhaps analyse and look at my situation based on the quality of life you yourselves are experiencing, in a country where there are helps we dont have here and an infrustructure we dont have here in the area where I am. It would take me many pages of writing to explain in detail everything and make you all understand just how screwed I really am. It is my hope to write it all down someday when I manage to escape from here. As for my parents, well they do everything imaginable to make sure I never leave. My partner knew this is what would happen to me if he abandoned me here and the cruelty of it destroys me inside. Indeed he planned it all so perfectly, waited until I was the most vulnerable and then he destroyed me and left me with nothing. Perhaps I deserved it.

I earn less in a month than what most of you earn in a week and it will take me years to save up enough money to escape from here from the measly pittance I make. I will be so old and haggard nobody is ever going to look at me again. I play the lottery weekly and cry and pray for assistance but nothing happens. I've tried to make contact with Father and/or Lucifuge through prayer and pendulums but my heart is tortured and broken and I'm unable to do so. I can't trust the responses I receive. I'm sure I imagine most of it and this house with all its religious shit is driving me crazy. They even have a chapel in this fucking house!!! Oh fuck I can't express it to you. There are no words.

Yes i'm a broken man even though after embracing father on one level I feel relief and love towards him. The joyofsatan website showed me its ok to be the way I am. Organised religion can kiss my ass!!! But even so I feel like a caged animal and I'm so full of intense hatred for my ex partner and my family. It consumes me daily. On all levels its destroying my mind, heart and soul and I howl with tears some nights when I know everyone is asleep and can't hear me.

So what I'm asking you dear friends is if one of you or any of you who can actually make contact with Father and/or Lucifuge and do receive responses, would you do me the great kindness of asking about me and if they are going to help me and when I can expect to escape from this nightmare. This kind of life is destroying my mental and physical health and I have very little hope left to me. I'm so numb and hollow inside. I hope one of you can help me.

I want to escape from here. Return to the UK and find someone, make a friend with someone, like some of the wonderful people on here and learn about father and come into my own power and make up for all the wasted years of my life. I cannot express to any of you the anguish inside. There are no words.

I've written enough. I don't know what else to say. If any of you or just one of you can connect to my soul and feel the anguish then oh please do me the kindness of contacting Father/Lucifuge and relaying the responses or whatever it is I need to do for them to help me. I have no hope left but Father. He is my only hope.

Blessings to you all

Paul

Im sorry for the cruelty of this world...my brother...*sighs* I wish i could aid you you have my very best of wishes and im deeply sorry for being unable to assist you directly...i will attempt to aid you with my prayer and with my belief...im sorry i cannot do more...but do remember all of the burden you have taken has only made you stronger...for to have survived hell on earth is difficult...but once you do everything else will be easier in comparision you have both my sympathy and my respect...may you be lucky and prosperous Brother.

Heil Satan.

 

[shon_hensem]

Hi there im new here before i also got into depression and almost commited suicide the thing is yes you have problems and yes you are going through tough times. But try to be patient and not take things so seriously. Analyse your situation before you jump into conclusions. Let your parents pray and do whatever they want As long as they r happy just be glad for that. If u dont like try to ignore. Think positive and try to solve your problems 1 problem at a time. Hopefully that will at least bring you peace of mind. When we think straight we then can concetrate on meditation or whatever. Sorry if i seem insensitive. After you have peace of mind try meditating hopefully you can speak to father. Dont give up you there are still good people fighting the good fight.