Hello, I am writing to you for a precious advice. I am trying to elevate myself, before meditations healed me but now it doesn't always happen, I am a victim of someone or myself. I feel like I am rotting, literally rotting and meditations don't always work, some days it's like having a box around my head that doesn't allow me to see far or to make long reasonings beyond my ego. I feel this box. When I am in this state I am not lucid, I don't remember anything I learn not even reading it a second before and I don't see well at all, it is difficult for me to even put the keys in the door. I am healthy, it has been happening for months. I have not been able to get out of it yet. The quality of the things I do is worth nothing in this state, it is not only the state itself but me because for this to happen it means that I am weak, and I am ashamed of it. I have not been able to overcome this on my own yet, I am starting to feel limited and rotten. I want to climb the steps of life. These are small problems seen from a higher perspective.
Climb the steps of Life
Lyra2 min to readYour words allow me no peace, sorry if this may be perceived somehow.
When I remembered the worst of my childhood (I also remember little of it), it happened late in life, it was ... how can I say. Nuke an atomic bomb into your mind and see. Everything I knew about myself, who I was, my values, everything I knew about my abusive family, was gone in a second. Recovering from such an event, if this is what is happening to you, is though.Your message sounds like a call for help, in a difficult moment of your life.
You say you are starting a new chapter. All of this requires a lot of energies, a lot. The reason why your mind is alarmed in "danger mode", only you know. But this happens, and the amount of energy that your conscious self (the one who is working for your life change) requires to keep memories, sorrow and traumas of your childhood well buried in your mind, is enormous. A fight. This is why you feel so weak. But indeed, you are very strong. Most people who had such traumas give up on life, cannot live, disappear from the world. You - no - you live! And you are changing you life! So I think, you are not weak - you are strong indeed. I feel this distinctly, I think I am no wrong.Words fail me to express how deep is feeling of being lost, alone and disoriented, when people do have to face all of this. But I know, as it is within myself too. For once, instead of telling you "be strong, stay safe, meditate and heal" - that you perfectly know, and should do - I tell you: I am empathic with what you feel now. And this sickens my heart, each time I see a person who unjustly suffers for simply willing to live a life. Stay strong... yes, but I guess a person who have been treated like a waste every single day of his childhood, and still survived, well knows how to stay strong. Thank you.
Your words convey an extraordinary strength, and I can only appreciate the empathy and courage with which you have expressed what you have experienced and understood over time.
the fact that you have faced them and continue to do so with this awareness is something truly significant. I thank you for taking the time to put into words such intense and profound thoughts to help me! Thank you
0
Your words allow me no peace, sorry if this may be perceived somehow.
When I remembered the worst of my childhood (I also remember little of it), it happened late in life, it was ... how can I say. Nuke an atomic bomb into your mind and see. Everything I knew about myself, who I was, my values, everything I knew about my abusive family, was gone in a second. Recovering from such an event, if this is what is happening to you, is though.Your message sounds like a call for help, in a difficult moment of your life.
You say you are starting a new chapter. All of this requires a lot of energies, a lot. The reason why your mind is alarmed in "danger mode", only you know. But this happens, and the amount of energy that your conscious self (the one who is working for your life change) requires to keep memories, sorrow and traumas of your childhood well buried in your mind, is enormous. A fight. This is why you feel so weak. But indeed, you are very strong. Most people who had such traumas give up on life, cannot live, disappear from the world. You - no - you live! And you are changing you life! So I think, you are not weak - you are strong indeed. I feel this distinctly, I think I am no wrong.Words fail me to express how deep is feeling of being lost, alone and disoriented, when people do have to face all of this. But I know, as it is within myself too. For once, instead of telling you "be strong, stay safe, meditate and heal" - that you perfectly know, and should do - I tell you: I am empathic with what you feel now. And this sickens my heart, each time I see a person who unjustly suffers for simply willing to live a life. Stay strong... yes, but I guess a person who have been treated like a waste every single day of his childhood, and still survived, well knows how to stay strong. Thank you.
Your words convey an extraordinary strength, and I can only appreciate the empathy and courage with which you have expressed what you have experienced and understood over time.
the fact that you have faced them and continue to do so with this awareness is something truly significant. I thank you for taking the time to put into words such intense and profound thoughts to help me! Thank you