Asking for a sign, Father Satan....

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Hello everyoneTo make a long story short, i'll jump right into it. I have a huge problem with anger and envy against the world. I grew up in a poor family that was full of drug addictions. I have always been angry at people around me because I couldn't stand to see other people happy while I was suffering so much and had nothing, I still suffer and envy the world, sadly. I meditate on an AOP but it only makes everything worse. I believe that I'm accidently empowering the anger. I have a weak pineal gland and third eye, the planets in my birth chart that deal with the pineal gland are in their sign of fall. I have not had any spiritual experiences with any demons yet, after about 4 years of being a JoS member.Its starting to destroy my faith. I think about father Satan every day and sometimes I don't think he notices my suffering here, I do RTRs, but not everyday, I try to keep an AOP up and also work on my third eye. I'm not sure who my guardian demon is yet, but I strongly believe its Bune. I was having a terrible day one day, thoughts of suicide, and all that. Bune's name and sigil was on my mind all day that day, along with a yellow smiley face image that kept poping in my mind, so I thought she may be my GD. I made this topic because our Gods also give people signs that they are with us through the groups, so I thought maybe someone would reply and say something that might 'click' in my mind and let me know that Father Satan and Bune is with me. Thank you all. You guys are almost literally all I have, like a family I love that's far away, but atleast I know your there. If it wasn't for the JoS I would probably be dead right now. I have been through so much in my life, the average person would surely be dead by now if they had my life. I want to thank High Priestess Maxine for making the JoS site. and the other HP's. If they ever see this.a lot of their sermons are calming and they keep me sane in these horrible times.Thank you. Hail Satan