Am I spiritually retarded?

[Satanic Path]

In my whole life I've just seen one ghost.
That happened when I was like 5, and I still remember that dust turning into a human shape. I was not alone, my cousins where with me but they removed this happening from their minds.
It traumatized me in a good way, and as I got older I thought: It happened to me. A ghost. I know what I've seen. I've been lucky.
But after that, nothing.
I only recorded voices with my phone, using an app: I sent that audio to my very near friends, and they were all upset.
"Chair" was the answer given by multiple voices, when I asked what was in front of me.
They were right.
I didn't get scared, I just felt amazed and crazy, thinking for the very first time I had been in contact with something.
So, as you can read, I'm not a medium or an expert, just a guy with a great will when It comes to "that kind of things".
But as I started meditating what I suspected might have turned out to be true: I can't visualize, I just can imagine things, with very little results. Take for example those chakra's meditations where you need to visualize light: I can try as hard as I can, but I only pretend to see it or feel it, I just can't see it pressing on my closed eyelids as It would happen with a real source of light such as sunlight.
I don't really know what to think, maybe I have a great deficit or a curse, or even an unlucky soul.
Well, I don't believe in misfortune, but I don't find the words to fully describe my situation.
Hope you're all good and having a great life, and that I can be as blessed as you.

 

[13th_Wolf]

In my whole life I've just seen one ghost.
That happened when I was like 5, and I still remember that dust turning into a human shape. I was not alone, my cousins where with me but they removed this happening from their minds.
It traumatized me in a good way, and as I got older I thought: It happened to me. A ghost. I know what I've seen. I've been lucky.
But after that, nothing.
I only recorded voices with my phone, using an app: I sent that audio to my very near friends, and they were all upset.
"Chair" was the answer given by multiple voices, when I asked what was in front of me.
They were right.
I didn't get scared, I just felt amazed and crazy, thinking for the very first time I had been in contact with something.
So, as you can read, I'm not a medium or an expert, just a guy with a great will when It comes to "that kind of things".
But as I started meditating what I suspected might have turned out to be true: I can't visualize, I just can imagine things, with very little results. Take for example those chakra's meditations where you need to visualize light: I can try as hard as I can, but I only pretend to see it or feel it, I just can't see it pressing on my closed eyelids as It would happen with a real source of light such as sunlight.
I don't really know what to think, maybe I have a great deficit or a curse, or even an unlucky soul.
Well, I don't believe in misfortune, but I don't find the words to fully describe my situation.
Hope you're all good and having a great life, and that I can be as blessed as you.

My whole life I've never seen a ghost, and I never really cared much for them either past the age of 10. Ghosts are real but most are lame. You can still be spiritually advanced and never have seen stuff like that, what's infinitely more interesting is the feelings and experiences conjured within your own body in intensive spiritual practice, not an ethereal fart person.

To your question, No. You are here- nuff said.

 

[Blitzkreig [TG]]

In my whole life I've just seen one ghost.
That happened when I was like 5, and I still remember that dust turning into a human shape. I was not alone, my cousins where with me but they removed this happening from their minds.
It traumatized me in a good way, and as I got older I thought: It happened to me. A ghost. I know what I've seen. I've been lucky.
But after that, nothing.
I only recorded voices with my phone, using an app: I sent that audio to my very near friends, and they were all upset.
"Chair" was the answer given by multiple voices, when I asked what was in front of me.
They were right.
I didn't get scared, I just felt amazed and crazy, thinking for the very first time I had been in contact with something.
So, as you can read, I'm not a medium or an expert, just a guy with a great will when It comes to "that kind of things".
But as I started meditating what I suspected might have turned out to be true: I can't visualize, I just can imagine things, with very little results. Take for example those chakra's meditations where you need to visualize light: I can try as hard as I can, but I only pretend to see it or feel it, I just can't see it pressing on my closed eyelids as It would happen with a real source of light such as sunlight.
I don't really know what to think, maybe I have a great deficit or a curse, or even an unlucky soul.
Well, I don't believe in misfortune, but I don't find the words to fully describe my situation.
Hope you're all good and having a great life, and that I can be as blessed as you.

No, you are not retarded, nor in deficit, nor cursed. You shouldn't think of yourself in these ways, it is not healthy for you. To me, it sounds like you are assuming your abilities in some areas of spiritual will translate directly to your visualization ability, but you should consider these as separate skills. Some people have strong wills, some have strong intuition, etc. Don't beat yourself up over it.

When you are "imagining" the action, it still takes place on the astral, regardless of how vividly you can see it. The "imagination" is you still willing the energy. I feel as though you are judging yourself like a master, when you shouldn't do so. Visualization is a matter of practice, not of inherent ability, just like everything in life. You say it yourself, "But as I started meditating...", which implies you just started, so your expectations should be much lower.

For me, I don't try to see the astral light blasting through my physical eyelids, I feel that this is more of an advanced sensation. I can see the light around me with moderate vividness, but not that of like a sun. I feel the energy, and I imagine it making a "shhhh" noise like it is burning all the dross on me. This combination of sensory input is satisfactory to me in confirming what I willed the energy to do. Additionally, if I view myself in third person, it is easier to cover my whole body in a larger amount of light.

I just replied to another thread about this topic, so I will say to you what I say to him: You need to practice your visualization skills using the exercises in the Hell's Army pdf. To find it, go to this page and search "Hell's Army Spiritual Warfare Training Manual.pdf".

Additionally, you should start working on your third eye. When I worked on that, the vividness of my visualizations increased dramatically, and I felt I could see the energy with more brightness. Before, it seemed a little dulled and hazy, even if the color was correct.

Lastly, if you have more energy to work with, this can make it easier to see it, as well. So either inhale more energy or vibrate the sun mantra more, and this can make it much easier to see what is going on.

Don't expect yourself to be a master, as that only sets yourself up for a let-down. You should not beat yourself up either. Calling yourself retarded and other insults is harmful to your psychological being. If you catch yourself doing this, just void the thought, or say to yourself "That is not true, I am intelligent. I am smart." or whatever applies to the situation.

The fact that you had any spiritual inclination at all, and the fact that you found this website, speaks enough about the "specialness" of your soul. You were drawn here despite all the clownworld shit around us. This was not coincidence, rather it means your soul has prior experience with the subject matter and was seeking more of it.

 

[Shael]

...

I think you should just chill and keep trying. Visualizing and imagining are the same things. How potent it is depends on practice, and you can practice even if your imagination is still weak right now.

 

[ShadowTheRaven]

I've personally lived in a haunted house with two ghosts inside. One of which was a friend of mine who passed away inside the house, and the other was a black man who was most likely murdered. I could hear them quite clearly, but they were hard to see. The closest I've gotten to seeing them is having a mental picture constructed detail by detail and only the basic features, such as height, skin color, what they're wearing.

The one was very active and loved to play tricks. Knocked two liters of pop off the table when i'd sit it down, or open a door right in front of me, or make knocking noises. My late friend would just chill in either my bedroom, or the spare bedroom in which he died in.

I've had other experiences where I've went to a friend's house which was also haunted by an Irish guy in a suit who died of starvation. When i got an image of him, he looked very bony and frail. He did not like her boyfriend though, the mere mention of him would make the spirit angry and he'd either shove someone or knock something off a shelf.

So yeah, I've had my fill of the paranormal.

 

[Satanic Path]

In my whole life I've just seen one ghost.
That happened when I was like 5, and I still remember that dust turning into a human shape. I was not alone, my cousins where with me but they removed this happening from their minds.
It traumatized me in a good way, and as I got older I thought: It happened to me. A ghost. I know what I've seen. I've been lucky.
But after that, nothing.
I only recorded voices with my phone, using an app: I sent that audio to my very near friends, and they were all upset.
"Chair" was the answer given by multiple voices, when I asked what was in front of me.
They were right.
I didn't get scared, I just felt amazed and crazy, thinking for the very first time I had been in contact with something.
So, as you can read, I'm not a medium or an expert, just a guy with a great will when It comes to "that kind of things".
But as I started meditating what I suspected might have turned out to be true: I can't visualize, I just can imagine things, with very little results. Take for example those chakra's meditations where you need to visualize light: I can try as hard as I can, but I only pretend to see it or feel it, I just can't see it pressing on my closed eyelids as It would happen with a real source of light such as sunlight.
I don't really know what to think, maybe I have a great deficit or a curse, or even an unlucky soul.
Well, I don't believe in misfortune, but I don't find the words to fully describe my situation.
Hope you're all good and having a great life, and that I can be as blessed as you.

No, you are not retarded, nor in deficit, nor cursed. You shouldn't think of yourself in these ways, it is not healthy for you. To me, it sounds like you are assuming your abilities in some areas of spiritual will translate directly to your visualization ability, but you should consider these as separate skills. Some people have strong wills, some have strong intuition, etc. Don't beat yourself up over it.

When you are "imagining" the action, it still takes place on the astral, regardless of how vividly you can see it. The "imagination" is you still willing the energy. I feel as though you are judging yourself like a master, when you shouldn't do so. Visualization is a matter of practice, not of inherent ability, just like everything in life. You say it yourself, "But as I started meditating...", which implies you just started, so your expectations should be much lower.

For me, I don't try to see the astral light blasting through my physical eyelids, I feel that this is more of an advanced sensation. I can see the light around me with moderate vividness, but not that of like a sun. I feel the energy, and I imagine it making a "shhhh" noise like it is burning all the dross on me. This combination of sensory input is satisfactory to me in confirming what I willed the energy to do. Additionally, if I view myself in third person, it is easier to cover my whole body in a larger amount of light.

I just replied to another thread about this topic, so I will say to you what I say to him: You need to practice your visualization skills using the exercises in the Hell's Army pdf. To find it, go to this page and search "Hell's Army Spiritual Warfare Training Manual.pdf".

Additionally, you should start working on your third eye. When I worked on that, the vividness of my visualizations increased dramatically, and I felt I could see the energy with more brightness. Before, it seemed a little dulled and hazy, even if the color was correct.

Lastly, if you have more energy to work with, this can make it easier to see it, as well. So either inhale more energy or vibrate the sun mantra more, and this can make it much easier to see what is going on.

Don't expect yourself to be a master, as that only sets yourself up for a let-down. You should not beat yourself up either. Calling yourself retarded and other insults is harmful to your psychological being. If you catch yourself doing this, just void the thought, or say to yourself "That is not true, I am intelligent. I am smart." or whatever applies to the situation.

The fact that you had any spiritual inclination at all, and the fact that you found this website, speaks enough about the "specialness" of your soul. You were drawn here despite all the clownworld shit around us. This was not coincidence, rather it means your soul has prior experience with the subject matter and was seeking more of it.

Thank you. I should feel more confident with myself, you're totally right. May the Gods bless you Blitz!

 

[Satanic Path]

I've personally lived in a haunted house with two ghosts inside. One of which was a friend of mine who passed away inside the house, and the other was a black man who was most likely murdered. I could hear them quite clearly, but they were hard to see. The closest I've gotten to seeing them is having a mental picture constructed detail by detail and only the basic features, such as height, skin color, what they're wearing.

The one was very active and loved to play tricks. Knocked two liters of pop off the table when i'd sit it down, or open a door right in front of me, or make knocking noises. My late friend would just chill in either my bedroom, or the spare bedroom in which he died in.

I've had other experiences where I've went to a friend's house which was also haunted by an Irish guy in a suit who died of starvation. When i got an image of him, he looked very bony and frail. He did not like her boyfriend though, the mere mention of him would make the spirit angry and he'd either shove someone or knock something off a shelf.

So yeah, I've had my fill of the paranormal.

Maybe in the future I'll open a topic about ghosts and their behaviour. I'm really interested in this. Thanks for sharing your experience.