I feel unable to feel the energies
It is really very normal. I in the early days (and also for a long time relatively to my early years) was in the same condition. Even with small runic spells. I also had a friend who used to tell me "how well he felt the energy of a meditation" every time and I would get depressed because I didn't feel anything at all. My ability to feel the energy came with time. Even today there are new things that I have been able to feel because I have given time to myself.
The most recent example is The Element of Fire. For years I tried to summon or invoke Fire. But I NEVER felt heat. What helped me was to initially try to just imagine it. Of course imagining the feeling of heat is difficult. But I used to pretend that I really could. As time went on, my mind became accustomed to this kind of feeling that was less and less pretending and more and more something really perceptible.
Today I can literally summon Fire around me and warm myself dressed in winter as I would dress for summer. But you have to allow your mind to open psychically. And this is achieved by training your sensitive and astral senses. Even in material life, we have more than just the five senses. The 5 senses are the best known ones that are studied all the way back to elementary school, but human beings have more senses, and heat sensitivity for example is another sense that is not among the 5. So, and this thing is scientific and you can research it, when you put your hands near the flame of a candle and you feel the heat, that is an additional sense to the first 5 (it is not touch, and it is not recognized as touch by the scientific Academy).
The more you train these astral senses, which can also be heat perception, feeling spiritual energy, feeling light in a leavened state, etc., the more you will get to use the sense you are training. And like when it's shown on JoS that to train astral hearing you have to try to imagine an astral sound by mentally reproducing it and not actually hear an astral sound; when you're trying to increase energy sensitivity you have to imagine it mentally. In the beginning it will only be imagination until the sense develops.
About the sense about experiencing physical/astral heat:
en.wikipedia.org
Don't vibrate too much. If your soul can't hold energy, you have to start with small amounts of vibration. Vibrating a Sanskrit mantra well 18 times in one chakra does much more than vibrating 108 times. 18 times you can hold energy, so you feel a charge. 108 times you will not feel much because you are not even used to it. I feel less when I overdo the number of repetitions than when I do the ones I can hold.
However when you vibrate, you raise energy. Whether you can feel it or not it is there. The gods exist whether you have a developed third eye that can see them or not.
I have been struggling with blackouts and depression for a very long time
This can greatly affect the functioning of our souls. And on what it is able to bear and feel. Don't get sad. Be realistic. Your condition must improve by working on it. You can't think that certain things come overnight or are there by default.
and this fight I feel I will lose
No. However, the effects are there. If you also want to be able to feel them you will have to practice. It took me a really long time. At first I could only feel the aura cleansing and the Ritual. Energies and elements I started to feel them after years.
