#437 Am I alone? Has Satan not accepted me?

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You are in “overthinking,” and this dynamic is very common in the beginning. Keep moving forward, and the signs will come when you are able to “see” them.

I didn't do the dedication with blood, because I didn't have anything sharp enough to make a cut

For the dedication, a drop of blood is really enough, which you can obtain thanks to a (STERILIZED!) needle. If you cannot make the dedication at the moment, you can try the astral temple through visualization. The needles bothered me and I was in a hurry to make the dedication because I felt like I was "dragged" by my soul towards something I belonged to. And in doing this, however, I was stupid and, as you are doing, I looked for something sharp. I was truly an idiot and I'm lucky I didn't get hurt too much. All it takes is a truly symbolic quantity of blood: a drop or even half a drop, etc.. You must NOT "cut yourself with something dangerous and sharp"!

but it's discouraging

I was very discouraged at the beginning because some things were not working well for me. My visualization ability was really lacking, not even the white-gold, the chakras were impossible to imagine, in fact, I could not even picture a chakra outline in my mind very well. It was really frustrating, but only because I was seeing the situation in the wrong way. By working on it, I could see how things were improving, now my visualization is really very good and the chakras are very visible and clean, they also rotate very quickly, etc.

This is to tell you that if you can't do something initially, and it will happen to you more than likely in Satanism, generally speaking, the best way to live this experience is precisely through motivation. Today there are still things that I can't do: for example, love spells are the only ones I can't do (really, I can do every type of spell with great results even from the first days, but for love I have to work really hard instead), but I have learned, over time, not to experience it with "frustration", on the contrary, for me it is an excuse to commit myself more and improve.

If you can't do something, you will be motivated to work to get it. That way you will improve. Giving up and losing motivation is completely senseless, in fact it is the exact opposite of the right vision of an obstacle. I would be willing to work even a year for a love spell if it were necessary. In fact, from November 15th I will do a double magical work of 360 days morning/evening.

But before I was exactly of the same opinion as you: love spells couldn't be done, I'm a failure, I'll never make it, *tears of resignation* etc. I had to learn that the real attitude is the exact opposite when I saw that I was losing and not getting the things I really wanted, then I said to myself: I am a Satanist! I have all the means to succeed, and I will prove that I have the ability to do it, because I DESERVE IT AND I WILL SUCCEED, no matter how long I have to work on it.

And look at me today, the effects of simple meditations on my soul are truly powerful and indescribable, even a simple hour of Hatha Yoga is truly powerful.

I was completely ignored

I often felt this way in the past. The fact is that I projected my own lack of results onto the Gods. For example: "I, not someone else, can't do this? Then the Gods have abandoned me". Once I made a Ouija board to find out if that was the case, and they told me that I hadn't been abandoned, it was all my paranoia.

The fact is that we project our limitations onto others, without necessarily blaming them. As if the cause of our failure was never due to us, but to the Gods, etc. You are not ignored, Satan KNOWS that you are there too, and that you are important to him. But if you can't communicate with him, you shouldn't think that you are ignored.

I thought Satanas had abandoned me, and instead he saved my life several times, and now he has also saved the life of the girl I love, not to mention the three times he has taken me out of really serious situations that would have been impossible to get out of even with all the help in the world... so no, he had not abandoned me, the lack was mine, not his, he was not ignoring me.

Does this mean Satan has not accepted me

Satanas accepts all his children. There is not one of his children who goes to Satanas and Satanas rejects him, if it is a person who goes to him with a pure heart, honest and with noble intentions. Satanas looks very much at this and our growth process. In the beginning I was a real idiot, I matured with time, I had sincere intentions in Satanism, but this did not make me in any way "satanically intelligent", I had to learn with time what Satanism really taught. If you are loyal, that is, if you do not hope to abuse Satanas, mistreat him, steal the things of Satanism, or other idiocies, etc. then you will see that your awareness will increase anyway. You do not have to know everything now. So yes, Satanas accepts you!

I also asked for signs I'd notice

If I can give you a piece of advice that has worked for me, it is this: create the situations you wonder if they exist by using signs. You could ask, for example, if your meditations really work, as I wanted to do at the beginning, OR a smarter thing could be to meditate until you feel for yourself based on your energetic advancement and thanks to your sensations that the meditation you are doing is actually working.

I personally think you're overthinking this. Please don't get caught up comparing yourselves with others, especially those who have great stories. Perhaps these people were already reasonably advanced in a former life or perhaps they weren't involved with Abrahamic faiths, as this does take its toll.

So, don't be discouraged. Keep meditating and working on your advancement. You'll get there for sure , if you keep at it.