I have been wanting to start meditating since I learned about it. The problem is I am severely depressed and terrified I am going to become lost inside my head and go catatonic. I'm sure this sounds really dumb but given how my mind works when I'm not meditating I wouldn't be surprised at all if...

So just now I tried to dedicate my soul to Satan ans things just kept going wrong. when I was trying to set the paper on fire the candle went out, I relit it with the burning paper. Then the smoke alarm went off (I'm in a small motel room) so I panicked and ended up putting thee paper on the...