I am experiencing strange feelings now, I am very ashamed and feel bad about the act that I committed, I thought for some time and now sometimes I think that it would be better to just commit suicide, she is the first girl that I truly loved and I don’t want to break up with her

I do not deny my guilt, this is probably my biggest mistake that I remember, we were just starting to communicate and did not dating officially, and we are not dating officially now, but we confessed our feelings to each other

I'm afraid that this might break her, that she'll be hurt, and I'm afraid that we might break up because of this.