My spiritual journey has been going OK, ups and downs. I have been meditating twice per day, I think in the past several weeks I only missed 1 session (due to being extremely tired and falling asleep). This is a level of consistency I've never maintained before. And I've been staying sober.

Things are still really hard and many times I've contemplated going back to drugs and just living on the streets. I don't want to get a job and live in normie society, as people have never liked me much and I feel unwanted wherever I am. My life is still really messed up and I have a lot of serious problems, mental and otherwise. I'm really trying to keep it together, though, for 2 reasons: I still love my immediate family and don't want to hurt them more, and my duty/sense of purpose as a Zevist. I still struggle with the last one, though. Some days I question if I have a vocation on this path or not. But I am going to try. My gratitude as always to those who maintain and protect the Temple.

I feel like I've advanced more spiritually in the last month then in the 2 years preceding it. For years I had plenty of alone time, but I kept putting off meditation while waiting for the "perfect" time, which of course never came. Living in a group home isn't ideal, there are plenty of people who seem to always be making noise, lol. But since resuming my program weeks ago, I haven't missed a single session. I no longer wait for the time that feels perfect, I make use of the time and space I currently have. Where there's a will, there's a way.

I continue to stay sober and work on the underlying issues related to addiction. It's certainly hard, as my brain is still recovering. But I am very grateful to have been given a second chance, and this beautiful community has been very helpful. I still worry sometimes about how to fix my life, I'm not sure what I should do career wise. But I know I love the Gods and Goddesses, and I love our amazing Temple. I am in a much better place then I was a few months ago, when I was still in active addiction and burying my true feelings in drugs. Thank you to all who help maintain and build up this wonderful Place.

"Nights dark beyond darkness and the days more gray each one that what had gone before. Like the onset of some cold glaucoma dimming away the world."

What is the best way to channel Folkish instincts given the new understanding? I agree fully with the Clergy and trust them, they've never steered us in a bad path and have continously blessed us with wisdom and truth. I get it that hatred and political conflict is not the way, but I'm still worried about my broader kin. The world looks so ugly now, I can't take seeing another news story of an innocent person having their life destroyed by a murder or acid attack.

I hope its appropriate for me to use my status for this, please delete if it isn't. My journey re: sobriety is still going pretty well. Quitting weed was really hard, I was super depressed for a few days, but I really needed to quit. I can feel my focus gradually returning, and I continue with study and meditation. My life is still in a pretty rough place, which causes a lot of stress, but I know it will take time to fix, I just can't allow myself to use drugs even when the stress is really bad.

I want to grow closer with the Gods, but am a bit unsure and fearful. I worry that my Guardian has left me, not that I would blame Him. But I will continue on this path, trying to be humble before the Gods and have some hope. My deepest gratitude towards all who help maintain this Temple. And if previous misunderstandings of mine on social/political issues caused anyone of goodwill to feel unwelcome, I apologize, it was not my intent but I take responsibility and am trying to continously refine my understanding.