i'm sorry

Crystallized Mushroom wrote:

i'm sorry for all the drama i put in the thread Mini rant with my mom. and i'm sorry for saying that i didn't want to do anything in this world other than lose my virginity although i did give a list on the thread of hobbies i like and wanna do just don't know about a career yet. i'm sorry i said that i wanted to sexually repress myself by not masturbating due to never having a partner in life and sorry for saying i wanted to starve myself due to sexual frustration and bothering everyone that i hate being circumcised and all and feel disgust and low body image due to that.

also i just wanna be independent within a YEAR or TWO not FIVE years that would be to late and i would be too old by then.

Just take a deep breath. I don't think anyone has any ill will towards you. You are the one suffering the most here.

You likely have some karmic issues pertaining to these problems. For now, all you can do is keep trying to advance and slowly remove these issues. Emotionally, it may feel hard to accept certain truths, but just do your best to logically accept them until they are resolved through energy work.

Circumcision is not that big of a deal and can be fixed through cosmetic magic, although usually cosmetics can take a lower priority than other things.

If having your virginity is stressing you that badly, then you should just seek out a prostitute and get it over with. Some people don't want to do this, and I don't know what you think, but I do know that it seems to be weighing on you pretty badly.

Stress won't help you, sex isn't a big deal as it's made out to be. People do sex like people do drugs, it's just another drug and so is love for the majority of people. It seems like people are out there partying and feeling the best pleasure imaginable all of the time but they're really just not, it's a mirage and it's really just all about social dominance. Masturbating is fine and you should enjoy it, if you enjoy masturbating you will not only be happier but experience more total net pleasure than if you chased ass all day even if you got it. If you are just really curious you could get a prostitute, or a fleshlight or something.

Crystallized Mushroom wrote:

i'm sorry for all the drama i put in the thread Mini rant with my mom. and i'm sorry for saying that i didn't want to do anything in this world other than lose my virginity although i did give a list on the thread of hobbies i like and wanna do just don't know about a career yet. i'm sorry i said that i wanted to sexually repress myself by not masturbating due to never having a partner in life and sorry for saying i wanted to starve myself due to sexual frustration and bothering everyone that i hate being circumcised and all and feel disgust and low body image due to that.

also i just wanna be independent within a YEAR or TWO not FIVE years that would be to late and i would be too old by then.

You just want to experience something that is understandable. It's best to not repress yourself and get over your hang ups. If you do enough money magick and are intelligent enough you may not fully need that much time to be independent.
Do working on yourself to free yourself from these hang ups then find a partner who you can relate too. I always tell people accept themselves for who they are but it's like talking to a brick wall often, they think Zevism is like christianity where the Gods want everyone to be perfect etc not so they accept us a lot of stuff people bitch about today wasn't an issue even in the ancient times. So it's not now I maintain that when interacting with others and don't feed into this mindset and don't try to be perfect either I just live life. A good way to go. People that have a lot of hang ups and subscribe to the modern way of thinking in the end will be shocked by how much they have to change in the new world or miss out on what we are fighting for.

This speech may help you with your issues. Thinking about what I said here.

Btw with circumcision there were some things you can do to get rid of circumcision look it up online. Probably in magick too. I may do the same when ready but I never thought it took a lot away from me. I don't know what the difference is.

slyscorpion wrote:

Crystallized Mushroom wrote:

i'm sorry for all the drama i put in the thread Mini rant with my mom. and i'm sorry for saying that i didn't want to do anything in this world other than lose my virginity although i did give a list on the thread of hobbies i like and wanna do just don't know about a career yet. i'm sorry i said that i wanted to sexually repress myself by not masturbating due to never having a partner in life and sorry for saying i wanted to starve myself due to sexual frustration and bothering everyone that i hate being circumcised and all and feel disgust and low body image due to that.

also i just wanna be independent within a YEAR or TWO not FIVE years that would be to late and i would be too old by then.

You just want to experience something that is understandable. It's best to not repress yourself and get over your hang ups. If you do enough money magick and are intelligent enough you may not fully need that much time to be independent.
Do working on yourself to free yourself from these hang ups then find a partner who you can relate too. I always tell people accept themselves for who they are but it's like talking to a brick wall often, they think Zevism is like christianity where the Gods want everyone to be perfect etc not so they accept us a lot of stuff people bitch about today wasn't an issue even in the ancient times. So it's not now I maintain that when interacting with others and don't feed into this mindset and don't try to be perfect either I just live life. A good way to go. People that have a lot of hang ups and subscribe to the modern way of thinking in the end will be shocked by how much they have to change in the new world or miss out on what we are fighting for.

This speech may help you with your issues. Thinking about what I said here.

Btw with circumcision there were some things you can do to get rid of circumcision look it up online. Probably in magick too. I may do the same when ready but I never thought it took a lot away from me. I don't know what the difference is.

thank you for understanding :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D but yes its obvious i have some hangups sometimes i feel like i'm allowed to have partners and sex other times it feels forbidden :? :? :? :? :? :? i don't really understand myself really well. sometimes i can't even get a full erection and i'm sure thats due to me not eating right half of the time, sitting alot and not much exercise plus not much supplement which i ordered some recently including Boron for more testosterone etc. and plus i don't always feel pleasure when masturbating same goes for orgasm probably cause i'm depressed.

also what would be a good money spell cause i heard they are difficult to do due to most people wanting money.

also if i vibrate AUM several times and state and affirmation a few times would that count as a simple spell?

also i'm trying to learn the rules of the road to finally drive its just i'm worried about zoning out and crashing.

also about circumcision there is Foregen

Crystallized Mushroom wrote:

slyscorpion wrote:

Crystallized Mushroom wrote:

i'm sorry for all the drama i put in the thread Mini rant with my mom. and i'm sorry for saying that i didn't want to do anything in this world other than lose my virginity although i did give a list on the thread of hobbies i like and wanna do just don't know about a career yet. i'm sorry i said that i wanted to sexually repress myself by not masturbating due to never having a partner in life and sorry for saying i wanted to starve myself due to sexual frustration and bothering everyone that i hate being circumcised and all and feel disgust and low body image due to that.

also i just wanna be independent within a YEAR or TWO not FIVE years that would be to late and i would be too old by then.

You just want to experience something that is understandable. It's best to not repress yourself and get over your hang ups. If you do enough money magick and are intelligent enough you may not fully need that much time to be independent.
Do working on yourself to free yourself from these hang ups then find a partner who you can relate too. I always tell people accept themselves for who they are but it's like talking to a brick wall often, they think Zevism is like christianity where the Gods want everyone to be perfect etc not so they accept us a lot of stuff people bitch about today wasn't an issue even in the ancient times. So it's not now I maintain that when interacting with others and don't feed into this mindset and don't try to be perfect either I just live life. A good way to go. People that have a lot of hang ups and subscribe to the modern way of thinking in the end will be shocked by how much they have to change in the new world or miss out on what we are fighting for.

This speech may help you with your issues. Thinking about what I said here.

Btw with circumcision there were some things you can do to get rid of circumcision look it up online. Probably in magick too. I may do the same when ready but I never thought it took a lot away from me. I don't know what the difference is.

thank you for understanding :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D but yes its obvious i have some hangups sometimes i feel like i'm allowed to have partners and sex other times it feels forbidden :? :? :? :? :? :? i don't really understand myself really well. sometimes i can't even get a full erection and i'm sure thats due to me not eating right half of the time, sitting alot and not much exercise plus not much supplement which i ordered some recently including Boron for more testosterone etc. and plus i don't always feel pleasure when masturbating same goes for orgasm probably cause i'm depressed.

also what would be a good money spell cause i heard they are difficult to do due to most people wanting money.

also if i vibrate AUM several times and state and affirmation a few times would that count as a simple spell?

also i'm trying to learn the rules of the road to finally drive its just i'm worried about zoning out and crashing.

also about circumcision there is Foregen

Yeah but that Aum thing isn't going to do much for money or a partner.

this is money spells pdf. The updated version adds Aum to the beginning of SHRIM MAHA LAKSHMIYEI SWAHA so it would be AUM
SHRIM MAHA LAKSHMIYEI SWAHA according to Pythia. This pdf is from like 2005 or something before she updated that.

The rest of it is good but the breathing exercise one you can experiment with using any of those alone in a working.

Also runes Fehu Odhal Sowilo maybe Wunjo maybe Jera Gebo or Raidho it kind of depends on your current situation choose a couple at least that fit you the most if you want to do a working that way.

Try to do freeing the soul thing on your sexuality. Something like "I am completely and totally free of all hang ups and obstacles related to my sexuality" idk you only have to add in a positive way for me if you think there is a possibility some karma might cause something negative to happen related to this if you think so add that. If not it's a good affirmation I think.

Godmode wrote:

Stress won't help you, sex isn't a big deal as it's made out to be. People do sex like people do drugs, it's just another drug and so is love for the majority of people. It seems like people are out there partying and feeling the best pleasure imaginable all of the time but they're really just not, it's a mirage and it's really just all about social dominance. Masturbating is fine and you should enjoy it, if you enjoy masturbating you will not only be happier but experience more total net pleasure than if you chased ass all day even if you got it. If you are just really curious you could get a prostitute, or a fleshlight or something.

i know sex isn't as big a deal as i'm making it out to be but to be honest doing literally anything else like when i went ziplining in Costa Rica with my parents or going to work or eating or playing video games or going on walks or even hanging out with friends feels empty and pointless even having family love or brotherly love feels like shit and worthless to me and i don't want it hearing people tell me to do with i want minus sex makes me feel empty and rather dead as usual cause EVERY SINGLE TIME i do something else thats on my mind i feel bored and empty except for music strangely enough but getting a new job and saving money which i need to do makes me feel empty and rather robotic wheras the idea of sex makes me feel loved and connecting to someone even though i never experienced it. why do people tell me its not important to have but then hypocritically make a big deal when they don't get it.

Godmode wrote:

Stress won't help you, sex isn't a big deal as it's made out to be. People do sex like people do drugs, it's just another drug and so is love for the majority of people. It seems like people are out there partying and feeling the best pleasure imaginable all of the time but they're really just not, it's a mirage and it's really just all about social dominance. Masturbating is fine and you should enjoy it, if you enjoy masturbating you will not only be happier but experience more total net pleasure than if you chased ass all day even if you got it. If you are just really curious you could get a prostitute, or a fleshlight or something.

also i forgot to add masturbating sometimes feels good but not always and i don't always feel much pleasure doing it on rare occasions it feel great

Blitzkreig wrote:

Crystallized Mushroom wrote:

i'm sorry for all the drama i put in the thread Mini rant with my mom. and i'm sorry for saying that i didn't want to do anything in this world other than lose my virginity although i did give a list on the thread of hobbies i like and wanna do just don't know about a career yet. i'm sorry i said that i wanted to sexually repress myself by not masturbating due to never having a partner in life and sorry for saying i wanted to starve myself due to sexual frustration and bothering everyone that i hate being circumcised and all and feel disgust and low body image due to that.

also i just wanna be independent within a YEAR or TWO not FIVE years that would be to late and i would be too old by then.

Just take a deep breath. I don't think anyone has any ill will towards you. You are the one suffering the most here.

You likely have some karmic issues pertaining to these problems. For now, all you can do is keep trying to advance and slowly remove these issues. Emotionally, it may feel hard to accept certain truths, but just do your best to logically accept them until they are resolved through energy work.

Circumcision is not that big of a deal and can be fixed through cosmetic magic, although usually cosmetics can take a lower priority than other things.

If having your virginity is stressing you that badly, then you should just seek out a prostitute and get it over with. Some people don't want to do this, and I don't know what you think, but I do know that it seems to be weighing on you pretty badly.

also i forgot to add its illegal to have consensual sex with i prostitute where i live i'm in the United States BTW i just don't know why quite a few people think i'm "cool" but not attractive or hot.....

Yeah... I can understand that. But once you have sex it won't get any better, it might even get worse if you don't continuously get sex after you lose your virginity. Sexual frustration is something that everybody experiences and lies about, like masturbation, and most people are not having really emotionally fulfilling sex unless they're in a good relationship. Intimacy that isn't just for foreplay is pretty rare, everybody is really lonely in our times, and everybody is jealous of everybody else because social media has us think that everyone is getting the love but us. If you feel healthy sexual energy that's all that matters, just because some other people are out there sniffing eachothers' asses doesn't mean you should be at home with your vibe bothered up by it.

Crystallized Mushroom wrote:

i'm sorry for all the drama i put in the thread Mini rant with my mom.

I read the first post and the second one to the point where you stated your approximated age. I don't know how extremist your parents are but you shouldn't allow them anymore to impose you what to do with your life as you are well past the point of making your own assumed decisions. If is a sexually based issue then just do what you have or want to do without telling your parents as they can't impose you what to do anymore, both ethically and legally. I don't know if you have to go through circumcision yourself but there are other methods available and if the case is severe then there is an alternative surgery but you need to convince the doctor or surgeon to perform that surgery instead of circumcision.

Godmode wrote:

Yeah... I can understand that. But once you have sex it won't get any better, it might even get worse if you don't continuously get sex after you lose your virginity. Sexual frustration is something that everybody experiences and lies about, like masturbation, and most people are not having really emotionally fulfilling sex unless they're in a good relationship. Intimacy that isn't just for foreplay is pretty rare, everybody is really lonely in our times, and everybody is jealous of everybody else because social media has us think that everyone is getting the love but us. If you feel healthy sexual energy that's all that matters, just because some other people are out there sniffing eachothers' asses doesn't mean you should be at home with your vibe bothered up by it.

well that makes sense also i thought most people had fulfilling relationships but your saying they aren't and that people are probably using each other i know slyscorpion mentioned that before which is really sad if thats the case. also i'm not bothered by other people sniffing each others asses i just wish i could experience a relationship or at least a friend with benefits i'm lonely even with my family and friends i feel pretty empty alot of the time.

also can you read my energy? what is my energy?

The Alchemist7 wrote:

Crystallized Mushroom wrote:

i'm sorry for all the drama i put in the thread Mini rant with my mom.

I read the first post and the second one to the point where you stated your approximated age. I don't know how extremist your parents are but you shouldn't allow them anymore to impose you what to do with your life as you are well past the point of making your own assumed decisions. If is a sexually based issue then just do what you have or want to do without telling your parents as they can't impose you what to do anymore, both ethically and legally. I don't know if you have to go through circumcision yourself but there are other methods available and if the case is severe then there is an alternative surgery but you need to convince the doctor or surgeon to perform that surgery instead of circumcision.

yes thats true i really don't know what i want to do with life the idea of working in a capitalist society to make scraps and struggle to make ends meet to barely afford an apartment doesn't sound attractive at all which is why i barely put any effort into much of anything i'm so depressed that even though my parents said they would help me be independent and i have siblings that support me and at least 3 or more friends i feel its all pointless just like how i feel today empty and every fucking time i think i want sex and relationships i feel this negative feeling tell me no and all for some reason and i feel that even if i had a valued skill like welder or electrician that it would be pointless and dangerous just to be able to make a "living wage" cause i don't really want a big house or even travel to any country especially now since travel used to excite me as a kid but after i traveled to Costa Rica with my parents i felt empty despite seeing beautiful nature and wondered why i came even though i didn't have to pay the ticket to go my parents did but i still felt empty for some reason and even though i went ziplining i felt empty and even nearly fainted halfway thru the longest one and wondered why i was tricked into doing this even though most people don't go ziplining thru a forest or jungle that high in the air i don't know whats wrong with me i get friends people like me and support me but it all feels strangely like nothing to me even with the one friend who hangs out with me once a week or every two weeks he always picks the places out and i don't and yet i still feel rather robotic i don't hate it just can't enjoy it either even though hes really nice and cares about same as my two other Male friends yet i can't help but think relationship with either woman or man will help me somehow even though i only ever felt attraction once in my life to the other male friend which i'm sure ere no longer friends but he was never that good of a friend he would mostly break promises about hanging out and lied and never cared about my problems and frustrations at all i hope i never see him again though now i'm trying to get my driving permit but it just seems so time consuming with all the rules to learn some i never even knew. yet i' still worried about driving even though i know its not that difficult i just wish something would evoke a strong emotion in me rather that being robotic or feeling repressed. sorry if the rant is too long also i'm finally in the process of coming of the anti-psychotic i'm on hopefully i'll feel full emotions again but the does was decreased from 10mg to 5mg to now 2mg yet i still feel the same guess i'm permanently changed . though i still try to appreciate other things like Nature the sun the moon sunbathing moonbathing going on walks eating right or listening to nature noises or being with my friends which helps me cope i wish i could have an attraction to some then bond with them and have serious relationship and sex one day if i' able to truly have deep feelings to anyone instead of superficial feelings. :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:

Crystallized Mushroom wrote:

Godmode wrote:

Yeah... I can understand that. But once you have sex it won't get any better, it might even get worse if you don't continuously get sex after you lose your virginity. Sexual frustration is something that everybody experiences and lies about, like masturbation, and most people are not having really emotionally fulfilling sex unless they're in a good relationship. Intimacy that isn't just for foreplay is pretty rare, everybody is really lonely in our times, and everybody is jealous of everybody else because social media has us think that everyone is getting the love but us. If you feel healthy sexual energy that's all that matters, just because some other people are out there sniffing eachothers' asses doesn't mean you should be at home with your vibe bothered up by it.

well that makes sense also i thought most people had fulfilling relationships but your saying they aren't and that people are probably using each other i know slyscorpion mentioned that before which is really sad if thats the case. also i'm not bothered by other people sniffing each others asses i just wish i could experience a relationship or at least a friend with benefits i'm lonely even with my family and friends i feel pretty empty alot of the time.

also can you read my energy? what is my energy?

I personally don't think so. People actually have less sex and intimacy now than they did in the 50s and everybody I know has been abused and/or cheated on at least once if not worse. It honestly just sad all over but as lonely as you feel you're not alone and a lot of other people are feeling the same way. And I can't read your energy through the screen or know your full situation but I can sense it's bothering you, I recommend to let go and just keep trying and only give up on someone you like if you get abused or cheated on. I mean it definitely doesn't help to just give up and wait for "the one" to come along but you don't want to confuse things. I know I feel the same way you do much of the time because my problem is that I'm just a perfectionist, that I'm trying to change.

Crystallized Mushroom wrote:

You can heal yourself from this and much more by consistent meditation routine, and also by dropping harmful things such as you are taking now. The nature of the substance you are on right now is such that it is advisable to gradually reduce the intake. I have been on the same type of "medicine" in the past, and I quit cold turkey. It was slightly unpleaseant, but doable. It can be dangerous when one has been on it for longer periods of time, so I don't recommend it.

Crystallized Mushroom wrote:

The Alchemist7 wrote:

Crystallized Mushroom wrote:

i'm sorry for all the drama i put in the thread Mini rant with my mom.

I read the first post and the second one to the point where you stated your approximated age. I don't know how extremist your parents are but you shouldn't allow them anymore to impose you what to do with your life as you are well past the point of making your own assumed decisions. If is a sexually based issue then just do what you have or want to do without telling your parents as they can't impose you what to do anymore, both ethically and legally. I don't know if you have to go through circumcision yourself but there are other methods available and if the case is severe then there is an alternative surgery but you need to convince the doctor or surgeon to perform that surgery instead of circumcision.

yes thats true i really don't know what i want to do with life the idea of working in a capitalist society to make scraps and struggle to make ends meet to barely afford an apartment doesn't sound attractive at all which is why i barely put any effort into much of anything i'm so depressed that even though my parents said they would help me be independent and i have siblings that support me and at least 3 or more friends i feel its all pointless just like how i feel today empty and every fucking time i think i want sex and relationships i feel this negative feeling tell me no and all for some reason and i feel that even if i had a valued skill like welder or electrician that it would be pointless and dangerous just to be able to make a "living wage" cause i don't really want a big house or even travel to any country especially now since travel used to excite me as a kid but after i traveled to Costa Rica with my parents i felt empty despite seeing beautiful nature and wondered why i came even though i didn't have to pay the ticket to go my parents did but i still felt empty for some reason and even though i went ziplining i felt empty and even nearly fainted halfway thru the longest one and wondered why i was tricked into doing this even though most people don't go ziplining thru a forest or jungle that high in the air i don't know whats wrong with me i get friends people like me and support me but it all feels strangely like nothing to me even with the one friend who hangs out with me once a week or every two weeks he always picks the places out and i don't and yet i still feel rather robotic i don't hate it just can't enjoy it either even though hes really nice and cares about same as my two other Male friends yet i can't help but think relationship with either woman or man will help me somehow even though i only ever felt attraction once in my life to the other male friend which i'm sure ere no longer friends but he was never that good of a friend he would mostly break promises about hanging out and lied and never cared about my problems and frustrations at all i hope i never see him again though now i'm trying to get my driving permit but it just seems so time consuming with all the rules to learn some i never even knew. yet i' still worried about driving even though i know its not that difficult i just wish something would evoke a strong emotion in me rather that being robotic or feeling repressed. sorry if the rant is too long also i'm finally in the process of coming of the anti-psychotic i'm on hopefully i'll feel full emotions again but the does was decreased from 10mg to 5mg to now 2mg yet i still feel the same guess i'm permanently changed . though i still try to appreciate other things like Nature the sun the moon sunbathing moonbathing going on walks eating right or listening to nature noises or being with my friends which helps me cope i wish i could have an attraction to some then bond with them and have serious relationship and sex one day if i' able to truly have deep feelings to anyone instead of superficial feelings. :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:

Mate stop with the complaining and get acting, you're 28 and you're years behind in everything that a 28 yo should have experienced by now. You're literally constantly complaining, but we can't do anything about it. You have been given plenty of advice already, now it's your time to act and do something. Get a job and act like an adult, or get education or whatever, but do something.

Aquarius wrote:

Crystallized Mushroom wrote:

The Alchemist7 wrote:

I read the first post and the second one to the point where you stated your approximated age. I don't know how extremist your parents are but you shouldn't allow them anymore to impose you what to do with your life as you are well past the point of making your own assumed decisions. If is a sexually based issue then just do what you have or want to do without telling your parents as they can't impose you what to do anymore, both ethically and legally. I don't know if you have to go through circumcision yourself but there are other methods available and if the case is severe then there is an alternative surgery but you need to convince the doctor or surgeon to perform that surgery instead of circumcision.

yes thats true i really don't know what i want to do with life the idea of working in a capitalist society to make scraps and struggle to make ends meet to barely afford an apartment doesn't sound attractive at all which is why i barely put any effort into much of anything i'm so depressed that even though my parents said they would help me be independent and i have siblings that support me and at least 3 or more friends i feel its all pointless just like how i feel today empty and every fucking time i think i want sex and relationships i feel this negative feeling tell me no and all for some reason and i feel that even if i had a valued skill like welder or electrician that it would be pointless and dangerous just to be able to make a "living wage" cause i don't really want a big house or even travel to any country especially now since travel used to excite me as a kid but after i traveled to Costa Rica with my parents i felt empty despite seeing beautiful nature and wondered why i came even though i didn't have to pay the ticket to go my parents did but i still felt empty for some reason and even though i went ziplining i felt empty and even nearly fainted halfway thru the longest one and wondered why i was tricked into doing this even though most people don't go ziplining thru a forest or jungle that high in the air i don't know whats wrong with me i get friends people like me and support me but it all feels strangely like nothing to me even with the one friend who hangs out with me once a week or every two weeks he always picks the places out and i don't and yet i still feel rather robotic i don't hate it just can't enjoy it either even though hes really nice and cares about same as my two other Male friends yet i can't help but think relationship with either woman or man will help me somehow even though i only ever felt attraction once in my life to the other male friend which i'm sure ere no longer friends but he was never that good of a friend he would mostly break promises about hanging out and lied and never cared about my problems and frustrations at all i hope i never see him again though now i'm trying to get my driving permit but it just seems so time consuming with all the rules to learn some i never even knew. yet i' still worried about driving even though i know its not that difficult i just wish something would evoke a strong emotion in me rather that being robotic or feeling repressed. sorry if the rant is too long also i'm finally in the process of coming of the anti-psychotic i'm on hopefully i'll feel full emotions again but the does was decreased from 10mg to 5mg to now 2mg yet i still feel the same guess i'm permanently changed . though i still try to appreciate other things like Nature the sun the moon sunbathing moonbathing going on walks eating right or listening to nature noises or being with my friends which helps me cope i wish i could have an attraction to some then bond with them and have serious relationship and sex one day if i' able to truly have deep feelings to anyone instead of superficial feelings. :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:

Mate stop with the complaining and get acting, you're 28 and you're years behind in everything that a 28 yo should have experienced by now. You're literally constantly complaining, but we can't do anything about it. You have been given plenty of advice already, now it's your time to act and do something. Get a job and act like an adult, or get education or whatever, but do something.

okay your right i should of done more in life but theres one big problem.

i've tried finding a career that interests me besides the two simple jobs i have but none of it EVER INTERESTED ME and never will even with all this testing done years ago still doesn't interest me and college which i did a little of never interested me it seems fucking pointless your basically saying the same things as my parents and i told them none of it interests me even traveling having a big house with furniture doesn't make me happy if i got it it just doesn't why do you think i want someone in my life hell being alone makes me go insane but having money never made me happy even once in my life even when i made my first paycheck i didn't want it so i just decided to save it so even if i made a living wage and traveled the world how is that gonna fulfill me when it fucking seems boring and a waste of money to me.

i don't want a big house i'd rather a 2 bedroom apartment with a bathroom and a kitchen something simple and no furniture except a bed and a place for my computer and thats about it i'm not really materialistic it seems pointless cause everytime time i buy it like books i never read them except skim thru them and i feel empty.

i'm sorry i'm not interested in doing any of the current careers available i've tried to make myself interested but i just can't they seem really boring even the idea of going to Europe or Hawaii which i wanted to do seems boring now i'd rather just have a relationship then die cause thereis nothing out there for me at all.

and thats how i really feel about things even the idea of sex is losing its interest to me.

Henu the Great wrote:

Crystallized Mushroom wrote:

You can heal yourself from this and much more by consistent meditation routine, and also by dropping harmful things such as you are taking now. The nature of the substance you are on right now is such that it is advisable to gradually reduce the intake. I have been on the same type of "medicine" in the past, and I quit cold turkey. It was slightly unpleaseant, but doable. It can be dangerous when one has been on it for longer periods of time, so I don't recommend it.

thank you and i am coming off the medicine slowly now i went from 10mg to 5mg to now 2 mg so in two months it'll be lowed again :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:
though meditation sounds cool and fun and is necessary i just don't really know how to do it especially the visualization as i said before now i'm at a point where everything but relationships and sex feels pointless including a good career i'm sorry i don't know why i feel that or better yet a lack of feeling towards these things and i'm thinking of dieing cause life seems pointless except the sex relationships which i never had and immersing myself in Nature is just about what keeps me going even being on the PC feels like shit now i feel too detached and Neutral about stuff even i don't want family love or brotherly love for some reason...... :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:

Aquarius wrote:

Crystallized Mushroom wrote:

The Alchemist7 wrote:

I read the first post and the second one to the point where you stated your approximated age. I don't know how extremist your parents are but you shouldn't allow them anymore to impose you what to do with your life as you are well past the point of making your own assumed decisions. If is a sexually based issue then just do what you have or want to do without telling your parents as they can't impose you what to do anymore, both ethically and legally. I don't know if you have to go through circumcision yourself but there are other methods available and if the case is severe then there is an alternative surgery but you need to convince the doctor or surgeon to perform that surgery instead of circumcision.

yes thats true i really don't know what i want to do with life the idea of working in a capitalist society to make scraps and struggle to make ends meet to barely afford an apartment doesn't sound attractive at all which is why i barely put any effort into much of anything i'm so depressed that even though my parents said they would help me be independent and i have siblings that support me and at least 3 or more friends i feel its all pointless just like how i feel today empty and every fucking time i think i want sex and relationships i feel this negative feeling tell me no and all for some reason and i feel that even if i had a valued skill like welder or electrician that it would be pointless and dangerous just to be able to make a "living wage" cause i don't really want a big house or even travel to any country especially now since travel used to excite me as a kid but after i traveled to Costa Rica with my parents i felt empty despite seeing beautiful nature and wondered why i came even though i didn't have to pay the ticket to go my parents did but i still felt empty for some reason and even though i went ziplining i felt empty and even nearly fainted halfway thru the longest one and wondered why i was tricked into doing this even though most people don't go ziplining thru a forest or jungle that high in the air i don't know whats wrong with me i get friends people like me and support me but it all feels strangely like nothing to me even with the one friend who hangs out with me once a week or every two weeks he always picks the places out and i don't and yet i still feel rather robotic i don't hate it just can't enjoy it either even though hes really nice and cares about same as my two other Male friends yet i can't help but think relationship with either woman or man will help me somehow even though i only ever felt attraction once in my life to the other male friend which i'm sure ere no longer friends but he was never that good of a friend he would mostly break promises about hanging out and lied and never cared about my problems and frustrations at all i hope i never see him again though now i'm trying to get my driving permit but it just seems so time consuming with all the rules to learn some i never even knew. yet i' still worried about driving even though i know its not that difficult i just wish something would evoke a strong emotion in me rather that being robotic or feeling repressed. sorry if the rant is too long also i'm finally in the process of coming of the anti-psychotic i'm on hopefully i'll feel full emotions again but the does was decreased from 10mg to 5mg to now 2mg yet i still feel the same guess i'm permanently changed . though i still try to appreciate other things like Nature the sun the moon sunbathing moonbathing going on walks eating right or listening to nature noises or being with my friends which helps me cope i wish i could have an attraction to some then bond with them and have serious relationship and sex one day if i' able to truly have deep feelings to anyone instead of superficial feelings. :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:

Mate stop with the complaining and get acting, you're 28 and you're years behind in everything that a 28 yo should have experienced by now. You're literally constantly complaining, but we can't do anything about it. You have been given plenty of advice already, now it's your time to act and do something. Get a job and act like an adult, or get education or whatever, but do something.

thank you your right i need to start moving regardless of how i feel at least i'll get things done and maybe i'll like it i think and yes i have 2 jobs its where i made my friends at though i'm not sure ill do good at education.....also i heard companies are mandating vaccines by december just got a text from my friend that said that :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil:

also i'd like to say thankyou for all the advice given to me on these forums :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: