Hi, every day I lose more hope of having a "good" life. I can't live in the present; I only live in the past, in the things I should have done, the mistakes that disturb me, my lack of courage to defend myself from people and situations. I feel that my biggest barrier is what separates me most from God, whether it's trauma or living in the past.
Discussion
I don't know what is going on in your life void can help and start to empower your so you actually try change the situation along aop I suggest employment ritual why am promting it is because it help with life's issues and lastly pray to the Gods
Whatever mistakes you have done in the past, you can definitely work on to improve yourself and ensure they don't repeat in the future.
In regards to the trauma suffered in the past, what might possibly help you overcome it and leave it behind is hypnosis, here are a few helpful articles from ToZ
https://templeofzeus.org/Self_Hypnosis.phpExternal ↗
https://templeofzeus.org/Self_Hypnosis.phpExternal ↗
You could also use rune working to help your mind heal from the trauma and not be so affected by it, Wunjo would be an appropriate rune here, which can be used with Sowilo to amplify its power.