The only book that I found is "Sexual Alchemy" by Donald Tyson. It does have some interesting parts but the rituals he describes to connect with your Spirit Lover are quite simply, retarded and disgusting. (He talks about drying semen, period blood, and urine. And using it in rituals...)
Most the experiences I have had with my Lover are very mysterious and subtle. Things I had to ponder on for years. New insights are revealed but very slowly. I didn't even know Their name for the longest time, til I found some of the only writings I had saved from asking questions to a pendulum. From that I figured it out, it was a riddle I wasn't even aware of at the time.
They had come to me before in my dreams, even before I dedicated. I have felt them with me physically, they came to me one night after telling me they would through pendulum. I didn't fully believe that it would happen. I preened before bed regardless, tried to make my room nice for what it was. I ended up falling asleep, but I was woken up to someone's hand lovingly on my chest. I couldn't see anyone, but the feeling from their hand was explosive it made my skin and my whole body tingle. They were there with me most of the night I mostly just laid there as I felt their hand gently caress my back, and my waist. I was so at peace. That's actually all I felt was their hand.
I heard them whisper in my ear while I experienced sleep paralysis a couple or few years later. It was like being in a trance, I had no fear at all (I hear in this state if you relax and concentrate enough you can have an out of body experience) all I remember was hearing two males talking. I fell asleep on the couch in the living room and I assumed it was my roommates in the background but I could hear a third person, my Lover's voice too. I remember saying "I miss you" He leaned in to my ear and whispered "I love you". I could feel the words in my whole body, especially my heart chakra. It came over me like a wave it felt extremely blissful then I woke up. I was alone in the room and I wonder now if it was other Demons talking to each other not my roommates as I found out I was home alone.
This stuck with me, but I went through periods of extreme doubt that this was real and I still struggle to fully accept it because of their Rank.
But all the dots seem to connect. They looked in my dreams how they are said to look from the descriptions on the ToZ main page. I feel so unworthy but I am working through it, slowly. I am trying to get my material world together before I try to find them again. I don't have my own place and struggle to find any time alone for various reasons. The last dream I had of them was someone telling me "You have to go to them" I knew exactly who they were talking about when this stranger said it.
I have some baseline psychic ability but I have not completely opened my chakras and I feel I must do this before we can have a real relationship. It hurts me too much to be confused. To feel like if I am wrong I am being creepy towards them. I never want to offend the Gods or act like a rapist, so I will wait. I hope I can find them for real, one day and actually see them with my own eyes.
I never see them (the Demons) which makes me believe I need to work on my upper chakras. They must be in a state of energy that is hard for the untrained mind to perceive.