Dealing with emotions

Hello, James.You are right in that being mentally and emotionally well are part of overall health, for sure.
I would like to ask you a series of questions to get a better understanding. Let me know if you cant answer any one of them.

I like to get down to the nitty gritty to understand as much as possible.You are among family here, feel free to express yourself.
- How long have you been meditating actively? Consistent?
-How long have you felt this feeling?( Lack of motivation, numb feelings and life feeling plastic)
-When you say motivation, do you mean no motivation for meditating or for anything? Life?
-Have you looked into your astrology chart for transits and indicators for these things? Natal chart
- Are you taking any kind of medication..or anything prescribed for this?
- Any existing health issues? depression, etc., etc.

Thank you.

High Priestess Shannon

Hello
I have the same problem for a while now. I can't really pinpoint the exact date on which I started feeling this way because I only became aware that I feel different than others few years ago . I'm not really sure. The more I think about when I started feeling this the more confused I get.

HP Shannon I hope that you don't mind if I answer your questions aswell. Maybe 2 different persons answering the same questions will provide even more insight into this problem that we're both having

I've been consistently meditating for 2-3 months, but without much progress. I've tried to open my 3rd eye.

How long I've had this feeling( Lack of motivation, numb feelings)... If I were to guess a number I think for at least 5 years.

As for the motivation part I have no motivation for anything. Even If I really want to do something I have no motivation to do it. It's like my brain knows that It wants this and that, but there isn't that drive that pushes people into doing things they want

As for the astrology I don't really know much about it. I only know really basic stuff I did my chart reading by myself(like houses, house cusps and planets inside them) I don't know much about transits
I am not on any medications

Hi, of course you can ask.
First off, how do you know you are not progressing? The changes with power meditation are subtle first and gradual. 2-3 months are typically not as outstanding. What methods and techniques are you using to open your third eye and 6th chakra?
Its important to study and know our chart as it is like a map of the soul. You could be going through something planetary right now and not even know it. Sometimes transits can cause these issues to arise. Right now I'm going through a Neptune transit and it is making me more sensitive and emotional and can bring up lots of questions and confusion. Also when you study your chart, you get to see what elements are lacking or in prominence. This dictates the personality.
For example, I have only one earth planet in my chart and the majority is air. Staying disciplined and consistent doesn't come easy for me. Lack of earth causes this.
The first thing I think you should do is to continue your daily meditation practice as usual but then the twist is to balance your soul through invoking the elements. Fire gives one passion, intensity and initiative. Drive. Action. Water deals with the realm of feeling and the emotions.
Invoking the elements is not for beginners. I do not know how inexperienced you are but that is something you should keep in mind. If you are inexperienced, maybe skip the element invoking and focus on more practical ways to balance out yourself and get your self motivated. This takes will power. Your meditations will fuel it.
Simple affirmations at night or a couple times a day can help. Do this after your meditations. It really works. Your mind will do what it is told and you will become what you put your thoughts into. if you have been experiencing this for 5 years then it came up before your meditations and it is easy to assume that staying consistent with your meditations will bring up solutions to this situation. A cleaning out time. Power meditation corrects the soul.
The word motive is in motivation. This means that with anything you lack motivation in, ask yourself the WHY. Why do you or should you do this? What are the benefits? You are motivated to eat, buy, for example, weather appropriate clothing or even go to work because you know the consequences of not following through with it. That is one example.

Write down a list if you have to. The more you realize the importance of your meditations and any other thing that you need to do, it becomes easier. Disassociate with the feelings of laziness. Practice self discipline which is the doing things that you may not feel or want to do. Master your self.
For meditating here are some things you can remind yourself of:
Why should I meditate everyday consistently?
- It is anti aging- It will heal my soul and psyche- It is protective, I will have the power to protect my loved ones and family- It will make me a better warrior in this battle for Satan- It makes me more charismatic and magnetic (gaining power of others.)- My life will get better the more I advance- It will make me a better and more attractive person- It will increase my intelligence- I will be a hell of better person-I will gain the power to shape my life and make it easier- I will be able to communicate with Satan and the gods  better-I will be able to unlock psychic ability and abilities such a telekinesis- I am a god in the making- I have been given a rare opportunity in life to change my soul which many people will not have in this lifetime.
.....And the list goes on. This can be adapted to other things like writing a list of reasons why to study.
I wouldn't worry to much about the numb feelings unless it is seriously messing up your interactions with people and getting in the way of other things like magick and situations where you need feeling and emotions. Do you want to tell me a little more about the numbness of feelings?

High Priestess Shannon

First of all, thank you for answering. I am doing 108 thoth vibrations to open my 3rd eye. I thought you must open your 3rd eye first then 6th chakra and so on...

I guess I should tell you what I consider to be cause of this numbness and explain how it feels...
When I was in highscool I was being bullied verbally every day.I had no friends and every time someone insulted me It felt like a knife to the soul if that makes any sense. And this kept going on and on, eventually I would beat someone and the bullying would stop for sometime.But it started again shortly after. After a while, It felt like I had weight on my chest constantly and after couple of more fights bullying had finally stopped and the weight on my chest was gone.

I noticed that I became thick-skinned after all of that and I generally didn't care about anyone.
After that It felt like I became a machine, I couldn't connect to anyone emotionally and I had to fake emotions.
My brain knows what emotions I should feel, but I simply don't feel them.
In middleschool there weren't any real problems, but I felt the same as I did after highscool luckily I made a friend in that scool after a year.

I dedicated while I was in 2nd year of middleschool that was 3 years ago, but I had my ups and downs I stopped doing meditations couple of times so I didn't made any kind of progress. Right now the only thing I'm doing consistently are Rituals, aura cleaning and aura of protection.I did all of those things for over a year. Then roughly 3 months ago I decided to try to open my 3rd eye and astral senses so I can communicate with the gods and Satan.

It feels like I'm inside an armor that was meant to protect me from negativity, but it also prevents any other emotion It feels like the emotions are blocked. It's really horrible.

I feel like I need a soulmate to confide in and love. I always wanted to be in a relationship with a goddes.It feels more natural to me.And nothing would make me more happier than to spend all of eternety with a goddes I love. So I'm hoping to open my astral senses as soon as possible so I can ask Father Satan for a succubus.

Just by typing all of this made me feel better :)I hope that you could share some of your rtechniques or methods you used to open your astral senses.

I know how you feel.
Since you are aware that you have out up a block then you should take it upon yourself to work to remove it if it is getting in the way and making you feel unwell.
You can get creative with meditation and workings to remove it. Work on this during the waning moon. Also, yoga and  chakras work will break down some unwanted barriers.
As for opening up your astral senses, just consistently work on your chakras especially the upper ones.
These are just my personal methods, I work on my 6th chakra and the extensions everyday using the thaum mantra and also thaur (thor) rune for opening up blockages. Working on all your chakras consistently while working on their extensions will speed up the process. Doing these increased my intuition and within the first 2 weeks, I started seeing sparkles of light and so on. 
Hope this helps.
Be patient with your self and stay consistent. 
High Priestess Shannon

Does it matter if the moon is waning gibbous or waning crescent or is it okay as long the moon is waning?

Is it okay if I focus on opening my upper chakras first and do chakra spinning for my other chakras?

I did perform opening the soul as stated on ToZ minus doing the minor chakras, but that was really long time ago... should I redo that and then proceed to work on my upper chakras until they are completly open?

Thank you!

Shannon, I was reading this thread instead of studying because I only have an hour before I gotta go somewhere. I realized that was actually procrastinating the studying for school by studying ToZ website and reading messeges in the groups. After just reading through the list of reasons why we meditate, it hit me, that studying for school & studying here is the same and now I feel super motivated to work hard & pass my exams... Thank you :)

shannon,are you not already risen?

you still experience chakra blockages?

To assume that the clergy members all started off while they were risen is an error as well as assuming that all of us are now. Not true. It comes down to what you can offer, your potential, qualities, your nature and what you will do at a certain point in time.

My personal advancement is my own business and situation.

We are all at different levels and some chakras are super stubborn to open for many different reasons.

High Priestess Shannon