Azorm
Member
Why are people suicidal anyway?
I am suicidal since forever, I barely was a kid and I wanted to die. I always had visions of me getting killed or similar, I always had a strong urge to die.
I'm also very depressed person all my life and I had a lot of trouble with other people and my own family. I think I am cursed. Everytime I walk into somebody's life I end up destroying them any myself too. There are lot of tensions and negative energy in my relationships with other people, and I watched almost all of my loved ones turning into strangers or my enemies in the end.
I'm very different even among people here, and often I end up gathering negative energy on myself no matter what I do.
I have severe traumas and hang-ups after averything that happened with others and I remember having it bad even in my past lives. Always same shit over and over again.
I have some other problems too. I often feel like I don't belong to this world at all. And often I just can't make myself happy no matter what I try. I'm trying to do things that will make me happy but nothing is working really.
Sometimes I just want to sleep for all days, but then I feel guilty for it and bad, and then when I work, I feel bad because of that too. Then I try to socialize and to go out and things, and then I end up being even more unhappy. Whatever I do in this life, ends up in the same direction - let's die.
Somebody hurts me- suicide.
I have no money to buy something- suicide
I can't sleep for days - suicide
I dropped my icecream - suicide
..I'm not even sure anymore what's going on with me. I know how wrong it is. It's also selfish. I have few people and Demons who love me, I'm not even sure how they can love person like me but okay, I will try to be nice and to stay alive.
I keep thinking about how to destroy my soul completely if I really end up killing myself.
Why do people even end up being so suicidal even when they know that is wrong? I will not kill myself tho I would love to do it now, I'm just curious. What is that in people that can make them this way?
I want to stop being suicidal. I don't know how.
I am suicidal since forever, I barely was a kid and I wanted to die. I always had visions of me getting killed or similar, I always had a strong urge to die.
I'm also very depressed person all my life and I had a lot of trouble with other people and my own family. I think I am cursed. Everytime I walk into somebody's life I end up destroying them any myself too. There are lot of tensions and negative energy in my relationships with other people, and I watched almost all of my loved ones turning into strangers or my enemies in the end.
I'm very different even among people here, and often I end up gathering negative energy on myself no matter what I do.
I have severe traumas and hang-ups after averything that happened with others and I remember having it bad even in my past lives. Always same shit over and over again.
I have some other problems too. I often feel like I don't belong to this world at all. And often I just can't make myself happy no matter what I try. I'm trying to do things that will make me happy but nothing is working really.
Sometimes I just want to sleep for all days, but then I feel guilty for it and bad, and then when I work, I feel bad because of that too. Then I try to socialize and to go out and things, and then I end up being even more unhappy. Whatever I do in this life, ends up in the same direction - let's die.
Somebody hurts me- suicide.
I have no money to buy something- suicide
I can't sleep for days - suicide
I dropped my icecream - suicide
..I'm not even sure anymore what's going on with me. I know how wrong it is. It's also selfish. I have few people and Demons who love me, I'm not even sure how they can love person like me but okay, I will try to be nice and to stay alive.
I keep thinking about how to destroy my soul completely if I really end up killing myself.
Why do people even end up being so suicidal even when they know that is wrong? I will not kill myself tho I would love to do it now, I'm just curious. What is that in people that can make them this way?
I want to stop being suicidal. I don't know how.