@Catalincata94
Your records on this site show you as making quite a few threads on this possible problem. I say possible because you did state it may have been self-induced by self-hypnotic, binaural videos like your aforementioned 21 days.
Okay, you state you may be schizophrenic and yet funny enough you don't have issues. You cope with it well whereby you don't require medication. You even found a surprising site succesfulschizophrenics, which intrigued me with Nietzsche and his issues. Shame Ol Argedco Luciftan only has Ecce and Zarathustra, I would like to read all of Nietzsche's books in order and hopefully uncorrupted as the tribe surely hates Nietzsche.(Funny Nietzsche, if what the schizo site states is true I'm just like him "Another example is his bragging about not reading any books for years while he was busy writing books for future generations to read and study.", feels the same for me I hardly studied much if at all any books for that matter.)
For example I've been diagnosed with psychosis and schizophrenia. Why because if I don't take my medication Fluphenzine 5mg(schizophrenic/psychosis medication) and Benztropine 2mg mes(counter-agent to avoid extra pyramidal syndromes). I will eventually within 6 months to a 1 year. I'll enter a fugue state like Walter White in Breaking Bad and lose control of myself. For example I black out and do things like back in 2012, I walked around the back of the block across the street from my house from the side of it to the other side for 10 minutes completely blacked out, not even dreaming, just black unconscious. I just lose control of my conscious self and sorta do things automatically with intermittent black outs.
I'm not even sure if I have schizophrenia or not because I never can get a straight answer as to what are the symptoms or what are the effects of it. Even when I heard voices speaking to me. It never bothered me, I'm so bored, it just felt nice hearing things. Despite being driven a bit crazy at times. For example one time for several times I heard a voice say "I'm the vrill commander". Thinking back in retrospect it's possible my craziness could be derived from my own Weltanschaang(World-view).
But in recent times since late November early December. I began to feel pineal gland cave pressure for yes and no answers and eventually voices. I hear the voices of Satan; when I visualize his sigil and speak I sometimes hear "Yes my son what is it?" or "Yes my son what is it? but make it quick I'm busy"; I've spoken to this voice that identifies himself as Satan and even been scolded at times for example I once said something about Lilith and the voice quickly in an angry tone said "Watch your mouth and do not talk that way about my wife", which I apologized. Another apology I had to state was one time since I know Spanish and use cutesy wutsy words I asked Satan about Lilith and called her Lilicita and the voice said please don't use that word around her. You have no idea how much that name in a Spanish way turns her up. So watch your mouth my [name]. I've never heard anything spectacular or out of this world but when I voice my concern the voice replies "Do you really feel comfortable receiving advanced knowledge when you've never opened or worked much on your clairaudience/clairvoyance nor major chakras."
Your probably wondering why "turn up" and not "turned on", my succubus has state the Gods are in their own levels already sexually turned on. What your implying is turned up as more is coming. Humans can turn their sex drive on or off but she stated the Gods work with their sex drive as in the spiritual spectrum of development.
The other voice I hear is my succubus calls herself Diana. The only reason I don't chalk it up to my mind is because when I state give me an orgasm. I used to take a deep breath, hold it for a long time, eyes rolling, and release all without conscious control. Funny enough now a days since May 17th, she controls my body. I ask give me an orgasm or she states would you like one and my body goes out of control humping the air repeatedly. And yes vocalizing does happen but she often goes "Are you fucking crazy, your family is in the house". So I say why not low vocalization and then she does it and I vocalize softly. Sounds funny to some but I ask myself how the hell does stimulation from an advanced entity occur to me if I hardly meditate well. The only things that propagate me is hatha/K-yoga, other than that I never worked on my chakras or anything. Have I worked on them in the past yes but when you spend almost an hour working on 7 major chakras it kinda blows your brains in exhaustion and boredom.
So my question to you Catalincata94 has interacting with these entities resulted in movement of your body? I know you never asked for a succubus so asking for an intimate activity like an orgasm is wrong to state. But have you ever felt like your body IS being guided in some way?
You state these are voices but do the voices have beings of higher power behind them?
It seems to me Catalincata94, the only other possible way I can genuinely state something is you "borked" your brain. I'm not saying on purpose or your fault or by your actions. Perhaps what is going on is something that is part of your soul's makeup. Perhaps past life activities opened you up and in this lifetime they create problems.
I hate, truly, hate to state this as this gives fire to the enemy agenda. But I have at times had the thought. That mental, physical, and particularly spiritual advancement is not meant for human beings. Or to be more specific humans have been so utterly raped for so many centuries and millennias that it begs the question:
"How can a human being become a normal, advanced being of higher power. If humans are so utterly broken that when they delve into anything advancing they break are labeled in their own medical industry as someone with problems?"
For example exercise is great or so they say. Your pumping up a myriad of biochemical substances ranging from hormones to even pheromones and other substances that derive enhancement. On top of that your pumping more oxygen, stressing the lungs to work more, and even pumping in more vrill or specifically prana which a long with the mind, body, and soul there is more vrill or chi not just basic life force Universal prana.
But as someone who is scared of breaking down of another breakdown. How would exercise help me if the few times I performed strenuous activities compared to exercise scared me into thinking "OMG I'm having another breakdown". The only time I felt great was one time helping a person move some stuff and reaching muscular exhaustion and my breaking point. Sitting down in my car and sensing a flush of chemicals flow through me.
So to you Catalincata94, is it possible that your issues are merely past lives stuff? Perhaps your body, your mind, and your soul are not meant to spiritually advance.
I'm not saying it's too late for you and I'm not attacking you. But have you ever thought that unless you receive direct assistance from the Gods i.e. face-to-face. You could never propagate yourself.
For example I'm sure you've done the 40 day guide and I'm sure hopefully unlike me you learned to program the energies using the 3 steps of witchcraft (
https://www.satanisgod.org/www.angelfire.com/empire/serpentis666/ThreeSteps.html). I hope you programmed your opening of chakras well ex: My center Ajna chakra is eternally opening and strengthening in the most happiest, most beneficial, and most healthiest way for me. Or Hatha/K-Yoga programming etc.etc.
I hope you truly do this religion proud and yourself proud.
But have you ever had the thought that perhaps, you may not have been ready for it?
I can't say leave nor you should have never entered it. But perhaps your a delicate soul and the slightest impulse to this change creates issues. I've noticed you've stated your quite lonely just like I am.
In fact I'd say I'm worse than you as I've never even been with anyone in my entire life. It's gotten to the point Lydia mentioned just because you thought about sex at a young age and still do along with looking at pornography and women and whatnot isn't the problem. The problem that you've never had sex indicates that yes you are sexually repressed.
Another possibility is have you ever had the thought? That because you've never fucked that your life is in shambles?
Sounds retarded to some but honestly it sounds to me like your so overly sexually wanting that perhaps maybe your life really is in shambles from not encountering it. Perhaps it could even be past life attachments that your bringing into this life.
I've literally had the thought of because I never had sex is that the reason why I'm not educated with a degree or a doctor or something.
So my question is just how far back do you remember deriving yourself into the relationship/sexual aspects of your life? Are you a normal pre-teen, middle school, educated on sex person. Or were you always precocious or what is the situation with you and relationships?
Anyways gonna end it here as it's getting long and I'm surprised after all this time you've been just keeping at it. Hopefully you don't fall into anything worse.