Question #2423: "Clean"? (Rant warning)

[AskSatanOperator]

I don't even know where to begin, I suppose this is half rant, half pleading.

I begged Father Satan for advise on my current situation and no matter how much I tried the only feeling I got was "Clean". Clean? I get it, He must mean cleaning my soul, but that won't do shit for my current predicament. I keep thinking that this must be a lack of astral senses being developed. But cleaning seriously isn't going to help much here, I was in the middle of doing more cleaning works before everything happened.

Long story short, I am dirt broke, in debt, just got scammed, my identity was stolen (SSN), and literally living off credit just to sustain myself at the moment. I don't even know what I'm asking really. . . Maybe someone can help me with "Clean"? I'm already doing a RAUM for overall cleaning, FRTR, Surya for cleaning specifically hebrew curses, UR for removing obstacles to improve my financial situation (that one sure ain't working out), AZA for removing obstacles to improving my sex life, ELHAZ for removing negative karma and bindings, and RAUM again for cleaning my sexual chakra (it's extremely dirty). I started this session recently but it's not like I haven't worked on any of this before.

I have done around 10 Jupiter squares, 4/5 Sun Squares, and a lot of Rune workings all for money (some in chakras, some in aura). Either to free me from money restrictions or to attract it. I just get poorer.
I did a freeing working for EVERY major planet's negative karma that was associated with a Chakra + Pluto.
I did around 5 Saturn obliteration workings
I did freeing workings specifically for houses
and much more
This is all in the last year or so. I haven't been just sitting on my ass. I've been seriously trying to change my life but it feels like the more energy I put in, the worse life gets. In every regard.

Quick summary, family life sucked, relationship life sucks, always broke, unhealthy body, etc, etc
But I didn't just whine, I put in a lot of effort both spiritual and physically to have life NOT suck. It doesn't matter what it is though, I keep getting smacked in the face as I try to climb.
Every time I get hit with yet another hard roadblock I get suicidal (since age 10). Idk what keeps me going but I always stop before I try to end it (cept the one time when I was 16).

I don't get where my fellow Satanists talk about how life got so much better in a year or two. It's been years and I keep falling, not rising. I need a hell of a lot more than just "Clean". I must be missing the rest of his message or something. I have felt a LITTLE better emotionally lately but it's kind of hard to enjoy it when life is and stays trash no matter the effort. And before anyone says it, I KNOW I could be doing even more, I don't blame the entire fucking universe or Father Satan for my woes, but hell, SOMETHING going well would be nice. Don't need a magic wand that just fixes all my problems instantly, but why does shit get WORSE every time.

I left out a lot cause I didn't want this to be anymore of an essay bitching fest than it already is. If you made it to the end, thanks for tolerating my nonsense.

 

[Henu the Great]

Ask your Guardian to help you with Returning Curses 1&2 and do both of them every day. Also, lots and lots of Yoga and Pranayama with RTRs.

 

[Aquarius]

My Brother, bad moments are always gonna be there. A bad moment handled with resolution and relaxation will not be so bad as a moment handled with frustration and negative emotions.

 

[AFODO]

I can imagine how bad it is for you, and your anger is 100% valid, in opposite of some people who came here ranting Satan for no reason.

You should have done these freeings in the right way.Iit is possible that you put too much energy into something that you weren't ready for. I'm not sure how long you are a Satanists for, from your post, is it just 1 year? because freeing workings are very serious, IT'S LITERALLY IN THE ADVANCED SECTION in the JoS. Keep that in mind.

Also, If you have done all these freeing workings in one year, I have to assume that you were doing multiple freeing workings at one time, or at least you did them very close (in time) to each other. That is very dangerous and should only be done by masters.

Your daily quest is to do empowerment, cleaning and protecting, and wait for these energies to calmly manifest their way out.

What affirmations did you use Have you affirmed "in the most positive way for me?" or similar? because if not, you might be ruined your life for a while, and this downfall is only expected, even with "in the most positive way for me" freeing workings can have enormous backsplash and you did many.