Recollection and the future...

[Larissa666]

Greetings to all fellow Satanist brothers and sisters...


Since there is hardly anyone in this world who could understand this what I would like to write, and share with someone, my only option is to share it here, with you.


As I rewind back to the winter of 2010, when I first dedicated to the Father Satan, I cannot simply forget and ignore everything which happened in between, now and then. What a road! It still somewhat feels a little bit surreal, but, it is true. I know it is. Doubt is now long gone...

I do feel a remorse that most of my time between then and now was wasteful. I slowly steered away from the road somewhere during 2011. I have allowed too much crap into my mind, I have trusted complete random strangers to teach me about what satanism really is, other than trying to slowly educate myself. Slowly, bit by bit, I have got into delusional thinking, and that's where the enemy got me. Year after year after that, things got even more miserable. Loss of any guidance, and loss of any orientation has slowly got me into alcoholism and drug abuse. I've thought that there is no special meaning of life, than to do whatever the fuck you think it is best. At that moment, those things were "best" for me.

The enemy surely loved me in that state. They wanted to make sure I stay ignorant goy forever...drowning in alcohol and drugs.


But, even if I forgot about myself, even though I was driving on the road of self destruction in 5th gear without brakes, there was someone who cared for me after all.

Our Creator, He saw me down, miserable and hopeless. He didn't want to leave me, He wanted to give me another chance, He wanted to show me where this road leads. He, sent My Guardian, to reach out to me.


The feeling was like a candle in the dark. No, not a candle. It was a light in the darkness, glowing more radiant than the millions of Suns. The light which cleared any confusion, and delusion... The realization was so powerful, that it left me in tears for months after, I was feeling incredible remorse, I couldn't believe how much of a fool I was.


Reading again the Joy Of Satan website, and groups and forum was so pleasant and warm, it was like, I came back home.


I knew what I shall be doing next. I have realized what the Spiritual Satanism is, and I have swore myself to Father Satan that I will never leave him again. Never. If I were to leave him again in this life, may he never accept me again. Never. For, I do not deserve to be accepted back, after all that happened. There is no excuse anymore...


Now, more than one and a half year have passed in researching, meditating and spiritual warfare, and if one word can sum it up that would be: rough.

Now, this is not to scare anyone who is walking the path, especially the newbies. This is my experience, and for you it might be different. We are not all the same.

As soon as I have started to do the RTRs, it was like I was on the enemy's blacklist. It is like they have all their spotlights on me, and refuse to give me peace. Which isn't a huge issue. Most of the times I am immune to their attacks. I still am struggling with attacks in dreams, but even that is manageable. Thus, we as Satanists have very busy lives. You see, normies have duty to go to work, maintain their house/apartment, pay bills and such. We have all of that, plus to keep our aura strong and clean multiple times per day, to make room for daily RTRs, and meditations. If normies think their lives are hard, they shall try and be a SS for day, lol

Now, spiritual warfare does add extra bit of difficulty, but that is not what I am finding hard the most. What is most difficult for me is...well...myself. My personal spiritual evolution, more exactly.

It all started when I have resumed meditation. I am feeling like I am slowly opening the box full of unsolved riddles. These memories of the past and this life which keep blasting at me are really mindfuck, which can keep occupied me for days. For an example: I currently have a memory of unknown house, which keeps flashing at me occasionally during meditations. The problem is that I have a strong feeling that house is an answer to many things, and that I simply have to uncover where it is, and why it is so important. Dreams got kicked into 12th gear gradually with more meditations, too. The moments where I wake up without being certain that I have indeed woke up are becoming more and more frequent.

The thinking, the thoughts...everything has changed, I can think of things from another perspective. I feel like I have can connect with people on a whole new level, like I can understand them more. It is like I can "see through them"...duh, it cannot be explained. When they are sad, I can see that from a mile away, when they "just want to be left alone", I can read that too, without much effort. I feel compassion for almost anyone, even for people who are generally not nice to me. I feel like I want to help everyone. I have became a very good listener...it is all just happening. It also seems that I easily get what I want, people generally do what I would like them to do (not in a way that I can control them, but they are simply "nice to me"). I am doing my best to not abuse this.

I must say, that I am very thankful to my Guardian Crocell, who was and is always here to help me when I am in need of help.

I am also very helpful to mighty Lady Astaroth, Who has helped me through bitter pain of realizing my nature, and Who helped me see how pointless and dangerous is to fight it. She helped me, as She already helped many through History. Thank you, Mother.

I am very thankful to Mighty Lord Azazel, who, although visited me only once, have left a very strong impression on me.

And most of all, Thank you Father Satan, for everything. Forever!!!


The most crazy thing is this convincing feeling that I have barely scratched the surface. The most interesting is yet to happen...

I am excitingly, but at the same time, somewhat anxiously awaiting what lies ahead.


You know, being a Satanist is not always easy... But you know what, it is always, always beautiful.

Stay safe, fellow Satanists, wherever you are. Remember... "do not let anyone and anything stop you, not even yourself".

[Victory of satan]

I dedicated on august 2010, a few months before you. Since then, I didn't advance so much in meditation because I was so fucking lazy but I still believed in Satan and I was always ready to do something for the war, on September 2017 I finally started to meditate constantly, every day, after lots of failures, but I think that focusing on my third chakra was the key to persistence in meditation, now is so much easier to me being constant in meditation. Even if I lacked persistence, I ALWAYS did RTRs, and I'm proud of this... You don't have to feel bad because you did bad things like being addicted to alcohol and drugs, we all commit mistakes, but you have to learn from your experiences, that is the way of advancing in life... As for that "house" you said, meditation can make you remember things of the past. You can make regression to memories of your past life or lost memories of this life or you can ask some demon to help you, that house may have some meaning to you. Meditation is like solving a puzzle, the puzzle of your life, so keep meditating and never stop...

You know, I enjoy loneliness, I don't feel bad for that, but I would really like to meet all of you and to help other satanists that are in bad situations or simply talk about things like yours...

Always remember, that meditation is the key to everything, to your true self...

Hail Satan!

[Luna Black]

Greetings to all fellow Satanist brothers and sisters...


Since there is hardly anyone in this world who could understand this what I would like to write, and share with someone, my only option is to share it here, with you.


As I rewind back to the winter of 2010, when I first dedicated to the Father Satan, I cannot simply forget and ignore everything which happened in between, now and then. What a road! It still somewhat feels a little bit surreal, but, it is true. I know it is. Doubt is now long gone...

I do feel a remorse that most of my time between then and now was wasteful. I slowly steered away from the road somewhere during 2011. I have allowed too much crap into my mind, I have trusted complete random strangers to teach me about what satanism really is, other than trying to slowly educate myself. Slowly, bit by bit, I have got into delusional thinking, and that's where the enemy got me. Year after year after that, things got even more miserable. Loss of any guidance, and loss of any orientation has slowly got me into alcoholism and drug abuse. I've thought that there is no special meaning of life, than to do whatever the fuck you think it is best. At that moment, those things were "best" for me.

The enemy surely loved me in that state. They wanted to make sure I stay ignorant goy forever...drowning in alcohol and drugs.


But, even if I forgot about myself, even though I was driving on the road of self destruction in 5th gear without brakes, there was someone who cared for me after all.

Our Creator, He saw me down, miserable and hopeless. He didn't want to leave me, He wanted to give me another chance, He wanted to show me where this road leads. He, sent My Guardian, to reach out to me.


The feeling was like a candle in the dark. No, not a candle. It was a light in the darkness, glowing more radiant than the millions of Suns. The light which cleared any confusion, and delusion... The realization was so powerful, that it left me in tears for months after, I was feeling incredible remorse, I couldn't believe how much of a fool I was.


Reading again the Joy Of Satan website, and groups and forum was so pleasant and warm, it was like, I came back home.


I knew what I shall be doing next. I have realized what the Spiritual Satanism is, and I have swore myself to Father Satan that I will never leave him again. Never. If I were to leave him again in this life, may he never accept me again. Never. For, I do not deserve to be accepted back, after all that happened. There is no excuse anymore...


Now, more than one and a half year have passed in researching, meditating and spiritual warfare, and if one word can sum it up that would be: rough.

Now, this is not to scare anyone who is walking the path, especially the newbies. This is my experience, and for you it might be different. We are not all the same.

As soon as I have started to do the RTRs, it was like I was on the enemy's blacklist. It is like they have all their spotlights on me, and refuse to give me peace. Which isn't a huge issue. Most of the times I am immune to their attacks. I still am struggling with attacks in dreams, but even that is manageable. Thus, we as Satanists have very busy lives. You see, normies have duty to go to work, maintain their house/apartment, pay bills and such. We have all of that, plus to keep our aura strong and clean multiple times per day, to make room for daily RTRs, and meditations. If normies think their lives are hard, they shall try and be a SS for day, lol

Now, spiritual warfare does add extra bit of difficulty, but that is not what I am finding hard the most. What is most difficult for me is...well...myself. My personal spiritual evolution, more exactly.

It all started when I have resumed meditation. I am feeling like I am slowly opening the box full of unsolved riddles. These memories of the past and this life which keep blasting at me are really mindfuck, which can keep occupied me for days. For an example: I currently have a memory of unknown house, which keeps flashing at me occasionally during meditations. The problem is that I have a strong feeling that house is an answer to many things, and that I simply have to uncover where it is, and why it is so important. Dreams got kicked into 12th gear gradually with more meditations, too. The moments where I wake up without being certain that I have indeed woke up are becoming more and more frequent.

The thinking, the thoughts...everything has changed, I can think of things from another perspective. I feel like I have can connect with people on a whole new level, like I can understand them more. It is like I can "see through them"...duh, it cannot be explained. When they are sad, I can see that from a mile away, when they "just want to be left alone", I can read that too, without much effort. I feel compassion for almost anyone, even for people who are generally not nice to me. I feel like I want to help everyone. I have became a very good listener...it is all just happening. It also seems that I easily get what I want, people generally do what I would like them to do (not in a way that I can control them, but they are simply "nice to me"). I am doing my best to not abuse this.

I must say, that I am very thankful to my Guardian Crocell, who was and is always here to help me when I am in need of help.

I am also very helpful to mighty Lady Astaroth, Who has helped me through bitter pain of realizing my nature, and Who helped me see how pointless and dangerous is to fight it. She helped me, as She already helped many through History. Thank you, Mother.

I am very thankful to Mighty Lord Azazel, who, although visited me only once, have left a very strong impression on me.

And most of all, Thank you Father Satan, for everything. Forever!!!


The most crazy thing is this convincing feeling that I have barely scratched the surface. The most interesting is yet to happen...

I am excitingly, but at the same time, somewhat anxiously awaiting what lies ahead.


You know, being a Satanist is not always easy... But you know what, it is always, always beautiful.

Stay safe, fellow Satanists, wherever you are. Remember... "do not let anyone and anything stop you, not even yourself".

Hi Larisssa, this was a very touching testimony
I have been dedicated for less time but I also went through some hard periods mentally and emotionally. With temporary addictions as well.
" When they are sad, I can see that from a mile away, when they "just want to be left alone", I can read that too, without much effort. I feel compassion for almost anyone, even for people who are generally not nice to me. " I don't think this is a good thing at all tho. Be very careful with misdirected empathy in this world with jewish values. I can say for me it was the opposite I was generally way too nice and too empathetic in this early life before becoming SS. I had to learn selfishness and cynicism. People used to take advantage of my good nature. I even got scammed into donating to several dubious charities in the past.
Dreams are.. a peculiar subject. I also have some pretty weird dreams at times. I tend to remember them when waking up then forgetting them during the day however
You are transsexual right ? You made posts before about that. Would you mind discussing a bit more on the matter and how your experience and feelings have been ? We can email it might be better then talking here. This is an interesting subject.

[Larissa666]

Greetings to all fellow Satanist brothers and sisters...


Since there is hardly anyone in this world who could understand this what I would like to write, and share with someone, my only option is to share it here, with you.


As I rewind back to the winter of 2010, when I first dedicated to the Father Satan, I cannot simply forget and ignore everything which happened in between, now and then. What a road! It still somewhat feels a little bit surreal, but, it is true. I know it is. Doubt is now long gone...

I do feel a remorse that most of my time between then and now was wasteful. I slowly steered away from the road somewhere during 2011. I have allowed too much crap into my mind, I have trusted complete random strangers to teach me about what satanism really is, other than trying to slowly educate myself. Slowly, bit by bit, I have got into delusional thinking, and that's where the enemy got me. Year after year after that, things got even more miserable. Loss of any guidance, and loss of any orientation has slowly got me into alcoholism and drug abuse. I've thought that there is no special meaning of life, than to do whatever the fuck you think it is best. At that moment, those things were "best" for me.

The enemy surely loved me in that state. They wanted to make sure I stay ignorant goy forever...drowning in alcohol and drugs.


But, even if I forgot about myself, even though I was driving on the road of self destruction in 5th gear without brakes, there was someone who cared for me after all.

Our Creator, He saw me down, miserable and hopeless. He didn't want to leave me, He wanted to give me another chance, He wanted to show me where this road leads. He, sent My Guardian, to reach out to me.


The feeling was like a candle in the dark. No, not a candle. It was a light in the darkness, glowing more radiant than the millions of Suns. The light which cleared any confusion, and delusion... The realization was so powerful, that it left me in tears for months after, I was feeling incredible remorse, I couldn't believe how much of a fool I was.


Reading again the Joy Of Satan website, and groups and forum was so pleasant and warm, it was like, I came back home.


I knew what I shall be doing next. I have realized what the Spiritual Satanism is, and I have swore myself to Father Satan that I will never leave him again. Never. If I were to leave him again in this life, may he never accept me again. Never. For, I do not deserve to be accepted back, after all that happened. There is no excuse anymore...


Now, more than one and a half year have passed in researching, meditating and spiritual warfare, and if one word can sum it up that would be: rough.

Now, this is not to scare anyone who is walking the path, especially the newbies. This is my experience, and for you it might be different. We are not all the same.

As soon as I have started to do the RTRs, it was like I was on the enemy's blacklist. It is like they have all their spotlights on me, and refuse to give me peace. Which isn't a huge issue. Most of the times I am immune to their attacks. I still am struggling with attacks in dreams, but even that is manageable. Thus, we as Satanists have very busy lives. You see, normies have duty to go to work, maintain their house/apartment, pay bills and such. We have all of that, plus to keep our aura strong and clean multiple times per day, to make room for daily RTRs, and meditations. If normies think their lives are hard, they shall try and be a SS for day, lol

Now, spiritual warfare does add extra bit of difficulty, but that is not what I am finding hard the most. What is most difficult for me is...well...myself. My personal spiritual evolution, more exactly.

It all started when I have resumed meditation. I am feeling like I am slowly opening the box full of unsolved riddles. These memories of the past and this life which keep blasting at me are really mindfuck, which can keep occupied me for days. For an example: I currently have a memory of unknown house, which keeps flashing at me occasionally during meditations. The problem is that I have a strong feeling that house is an answer to many things, and that I simply have to uncover where it is, and why it is so important. Dreams got kicked into 12th gear gradually with more meditations, too. The moments where I wake up without being certain that I have indeed woke up are becoming more and more frequent.

The thinking, the thoughts...everything has changed, I can think of things from another perspective. I feel like I have can connect with people on a whole new level, like I can understand them more. It is like I can "see through them"...duh, it cannot be explained. When they are sad, I can see that from a mile away, when they "just want to be left alone", I can read that too, without much effort. I feel compassion for almost anyone, even for people who are generally not nice to me. I feel like I want to help everyone. I have became a very good listener...it is all just happening. It also seems that I easily get what I want, people generally do what I would like them to do (not in a way that I can control them, but they are simply "nice to me"). I am doing my best to not abuse this.

I must say, that I am very thankful to my Guardian Crocell, who was and is always here to help me when I am in need of help.

I am also very helpful to mighty Lady Astaroth, Who has helped me through bitter pain of realizing my nature, and Who helped me see how pointless and dangerous is to fight it. She helped me, as She already helped many through History. Thank you, Mother.

I am very thankful to Mighty Lord Azazel, who, although visited me only once, have left a very strong impression on me.

And most of all, Thank you Father Satan, for everything. Forever!!!


The most crazy thing is this convincing feeling that I have barely scratched the surface. The most interesting is yet to happen...

I am excitingly, but at the same time, somewhat anxiously awaiting what lies ahead.


You know, being a Satanist is not always easy... But you know what, it is always, always beautiful.

Stay safe, fellow Satanists, wherever you are. Remember... "do not let anyone and anything stop you, not even yourself".

Hi Larisssa, this was a very touching testimony
I have been dedicated for less time but I also went through some hard periods mentally and emotionally. With temporary addictions as well.
" When they are sad, I can see that from a mile away, when they "just want to be left alone", I can read that too, without much effort. I feel compassion for almost anyone, even for people who are generally not nice to me. " I don't think this is a good thing at all tho. Be very careful with misdirected empathy in this world with jewish values. I can say for me it was the opposite I was generally way too nice and too empathetic in this early life before becoming SS. I had to learn selfishness and cynicism. People used to take advantage of my good nature. I even got scammed into donating to several dubious charities in the past.
Dreams are.. a peculiar subject. I also have some pretty weird dreams at times. I tend to remember them when waking up then forgetting them during the day however
You are transsexual right ? You made posts before about that. Would you mind discussing a bit more on the matter and how your experience and feelings have been ? We can email it might be better then talking here. This is an interesting subject.

Greetings, Luna, and thank you for your feedback.

Since everything here what I wrote is very hard to put into words, I must tell that I haven't lost the sense of rationality with this greater sense of openness that slowly came to me. I was afraid that someone will from my post understand that I have turned into brainless "New-Age" hippy, and my fears have came true. I must tell you that I haven't turned any more naive, in fact, I have learned to tread very carefully, and do not trust people until they deserve my trust. This greater connection with people, have in fact, much helped me with that, by being more able to see into someone's intentions, nature and personality.

Being able to understand people who are jerks to me doesn't mean that I just let them do the f*** they want with me. This just means that I am able to understand why people act like this, and according to the cause, I decide how to deal with them. Are they a jerk to me because they have a bad day in general? Well, I can deal with that, I am not gonna put a destruction spell on them, or try to make their life miserable just because of that. Or, what if they picked on me because they dislike me, no matter what? Oh, boy, calm down, leave me alone, else you will regret the day you've met me.

In the end, all of this I have noticed recently, so I will yet have to explore why am I like this, and where that will lead me. I do not want to jump into conclusions, but learn...

I would like to talk with you more in the email, but I value privacy on the internet too much to give my email to everyone. And I won't go into hassle of creating a new one just so that I can talk with you or anyone else.

(Oh, I have forgot to add my sexuality to the list of things that have definitely changed. I used to be totally uninterested in sex, my sex drive was so low, if sex drive was measured by the scale from 0 to 100, my sex drive was probably a negative number, lol. But now, it is through the roof. I am bisexual, but more inclined towards men. Definitely a weird feeling, which now I need to control.)


I would like to talk with you more in the email, but I value privacy on the internet too much to give my email to everyone. And I won't go into hassle of creating a new one just so that I can talk with you or anyone else.

You know our Ministry discourages sharing our personal info due to infiltrators here, who are disguised preying on us? I totally agree with that. All reasonable amount of communication can be done here on forum or the groups. For everything else...do not worry, and be patient, the day will soon come where we will all be able to share our stories and experiences out openly, without any fear. For the day of Our Victory is near.

Hail Satan! Forever!

[Sinistra]

Hi It's Luna. New account. It wasn't possible to change the account name.

I didn't think you are a brainless new ager or something alike but your wording was worrying me a bit.

These forums are public and so there are definitely infiltrators to read and also post nonsense here. Besides discussing private matters in public isn't for me I am someone private. I would say no reasonable amount of private communication can be done on these forums between the infiltrators and the immature ones.
You can make a protonmail email in 2 min without your name or anything related to you to use to discuss with other SS.
Well if you are suuuuper paranoid you can ask your GD if I am a real SS or an infiltrator before giving me your anonymous protonmail email

[Larissa666]

Your email address is nowhere to be seen, I visited your profile. And if I publish it here, everyone will see it. And who knows what type of people are lurking here, even unregistered can see the forum. Why would I want to have an inbox full of spam from idiots?

[Sinistra]

Your email address is nowhere to be seen, I visited your profile. And if I publish it here, everyone will see it. And who knows what type of people are lurking here, even unregistered can see the forum. Why would I want to have an inbox full of spam from idiots?

I have users can pm me or contact me checked. Could you try to contact me this way via my profile please ?

[Sinistra]

Alright here goes nothing : EvilerThenThou @ protonmail. com

[Larissa666]

Message sent, you know it.