TopoftheAbyss wrote:I am under constant attack and doing an RTR is really difficult. Since Yom Kippur I'm constantly depressed.
At least one RTR a day is enough but try to fix your depression. Something is filling your chakras and aura with dirt, maybe it's the enemy. Tried anything to stop it so far? Maybe add more cleaning, try more yoga, be active more or find something nice to do. We are supposed to stay on this path forever, we should find a way to do our things in a way that's good for us, so you need to learn what is good for you and not to stop meditations and RTR's. When you are depressed learn to cut that shit off and to make enemies stop bothering you so much. You deserve to be happy and to stay with Satan strong, so find a way.
Satanama is really good to stop negative energy from enemies from ruining you so much from inside, or try even to fill your whole room or house with that positive energy and Satanic fire. Also try to become closer to the Satan and some of the Gods. I think that helps a lot, actually it's super hard to advance without building the connection with them.
Back then before few years when I refused to connect to the Gods (I thought they don't want to bother with me) I had tons of issues and it was hard to do anything, but as soon as I made a connection with one God I believed was my guardian (and turned out he really is ) everyting started going out more smoothly. I could feel some energy pushing me in some directions and supporting me, I could feel the love and positive emotions. I felt guided, protected and loved. I could feel and sometimes even see him watching me and trying to make me feel good and to explain me some things. Over the years we bonded a lot, he was there for me when no one was. I felt the need to be better. I was doing RTRs like crazy. I wanted him to be proud at me. I also tried to make a connection with Satan and that helped me a lot. The more I became closer to the Gods the easier my life was and things as RTRs and meditations stopped being a burden to me, I started loving it more than anything
