Hello brothers and sisters.
You can read from the title what it is about. I will try to explain everything as fast as I can. Since age 16 I started to Indulge very HEAVY into Porn and masturbated like every hour or at least 3-4 times a day.. I don't know how I was functioning for real.. Like I didn't see any problem with this "oh it's like quick release or when I feel down I go watch some porn and it makes me (((happy))) ''
What that did to me in the long run is put me in a hyper stimulus mind state,porn induced depression (which I thought was regular depression for several years) and made my penis to flop or don't function in real life with a real girl.
In 2018 I met this girl and I thought I finally will have my first intercourse and be just normal man not a late bloomer or virgin in my 30s ( maybe it's because venus retrograde or something to do with chiron in 8th ) So when I tried to have sex with this girl ofc nothing worked down there. And then it made a chain reaction.. I tried with another girl and another girl but my mind clicked only on negative things that It didin't work one time so next times should be bad as well (which is so stupid)
2020 is my healing period because finally I stared dealing with this problem and went to sex therapist. An Urologist prescribed me a few viagra pills which helps with erection but did not solve any mind problems...Also another useful information regarding my situation that I also have fobia to ejaculate when I did had intercouse those lucky 3 times ( with viagra help)I'm afraid to connect and change energy with someone who is just a regular basic person ... A lot people just fuck with one night stands and they don't know anything and change energys with christians,drug addicts and etc..
I think I overthink this sex stuff to much and also I don't know where to even start. what Runes or maybe mars/sun square would be useful ( I'm planing on starting mars next week for another purpose but maybe it can help because it controls sex and sexual organs.. ) should I do material squares or spiritual instead?
I know it's kinda a long post but I really want others perspectives on this or opinions where I could start.. Thank you really all for any helpful responses..If you have any extra questions about this I will answer everything.
HS
You can read from the title what it is about. I will try to explain everything as fast as I can. Since age 16 I started to Indulge very HEAVY into Porn and masturbated like every hour or at least 3-4 times a day.. I don't know how I was functioning for real.. Like I didn't see any problem with this "oh it's like quick release or when I feel down I go watch some porn and it makes me (((happy))) ''
What that did to me in the long run is put me in a hyper stimulus mind state,porn induced depression (which I thought was regular depression for several years) and made my penis to flop or don't function in real life with a real girl.
In 2018 I met this girl and I thought I finally will have my first intercourse and be just normal man not a late bloomer or virgin in my 30s ( maybe it's because venus retrograde or something to do with chiron in 8th ) So when I tried to have sex with this girl ofc nothing worked down there. And then it made a chain reaction.. I tried with another girl and another girl but my mind clicked only on negative things that It didin't work one time so next times should be bad as well (which is so stupid)
2020 is my healing period because finally I stared dealing with this problem and went to sex therapist. An Urologist prescribed me a few viagra pills which helps with erection but did not solve any mind problems...Also another useful information regarding my situation that I also have fobia to ejaculate when I did had intercouse those lucky 3 times ( with viagra help)I'm afraid to connect and change energy with someone who is just a regular basic person ... A lot people just fuck with one night stands and they don't know anything and change energys with christians,drug addicts and etc..
I think I overthink this sex stuff to much and also I don't know where to even start. what Runes or maybe mars/sun square would be useful ( I'm planing on starting mars next week for another purpose but maybe it can help because it controls sex and sexual organs.. ) should I do material squares or spiritual instead?
I know it's kinda a long post but I really want others perspectives on this or opinions where I could start.. Thank you really all for any helpful responses..If you have any extra questions about this I will answer everything.
HS