Slothz Tale City

[HP Mageson666]

Deep in the lair of the Lard Queen leader of the once ruling Party the KFC, the smell of grease filled the air as she sat in her titanium reinforced chair, rolls hanging off the sides in all directions. Painting with rage and shock as she read the latest reports of the elections in Deeuslandz...... She thought to herself as her sausage fist grasped tightly to the report..."How is dees possible! My Party lost sooo much powar!" Then as the crumbs of another deep fried chicken wing ran down her triplet of chins she read something that caused her to actually stop eating for a few seconds......"Nationalist Party won 88 seats in new Boodenstagel election".. Feeling deeply triggered by that number a great stress arose from within her lard and sent a shock wave that resembled a small bubblercane effect over the expanse of her wide girth.. As she was reeling from this triggering her minister of her limited intelligence agency came marching into the room and stood to attention in front of her empty fast food wrapper covered desk.

"Chancllair Fraulardcale, I am heer to repart on wut vou asaked!" He stated with the report held under his arm which the lard queen was eyeing with hungry lust as it reminder her of a chicken wing.

"Repart! Now!" The lard queen yelled in a hysterical rage as grease sweat ran down her brow.

The Minister of Limited Intelligence then spoke:
"Chancliar Fraulardcale das reason vour Party has lost so much powar has baan found outs to be......"

"Founds to beee what!" She yelled as the furiously chewed on a chicken wing.

The Minister looking uncomfortable at the repulsive sight of the lard queen then responded....
"A certain fourm posting Slothz who wrute an articale abuut vou on da internet!"

"I though I oudered dat internat shut down, Yah!" She screeched. "Uund wooot is a fooken Slothz!" She followed up with as her mouth was full of food.

The minister then pulled out the report from under his arm and read it...

"Heer is wot da Slothz wrote FrauLardacle:....

Rosez are redz, violets are bulez, Fraulardacle iz a stinky joo andz shees fats tooz."


"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!" The Lard queen screeched as a loud farting noises emanated from deep within her lard and an even more obnoxious stench filled the air. "Dat Fooken Slothz! He costs us powar in das elections with das hateee speeechhhh! How dares He lies abut me I am nut fatz I am.....LARD BONEDET!" Just as she finished screaming a loud sound was heard as the velocity of her lard wave tantrum caused her titanium chair to collapse under the shock, causing Fraulardcale to hit the ground, shaking the celling. "Fook das und da second chair das week, herr minister pass und law against gravity for trying to und body shame me!"


"Fraulardacle dar is more....."He then read:
"Billy idolz is winz and jooz is lose."

Then Fraulardacle looked up in total shock with mouth gaping, yelled....

"I......I......HASSS BANNNED DAS NAME FURM EVER BEING SPOOKEN!"

As the lard queen flailed around on the floor trying unsuccessfully to sit up under the weight of her mountain of blubber. She then screamed "Herr minister arrests yourselves for das hatteee speech! Unds get the crane in here to lifts me backs ups Yah!".

"Dar uns another thing Fraulardalce". The Minster spoke.

"Wots" Fraulardcale replied

"Chancilair Fraulardcale, the Volk das dues not want das immigrants anymore".

"Wats muh chocolate muchkins! Das are the colors ov my favourite thing....das choclates! DASSS CHOCOLATES VOLK STAY!". The lard queen yelled as she tried to reach towards a bucket of chicken wings that littered the ground.

The Minster then spoke:

"Fraularde if das chocolate volk stay und have no more powar!"

Then the lard queen yelled:
"I haves powar! Und mine all mine is KFC das party I own!"

Then the minster feverously adjusted his tie and spoke

"Ummm Chaniclair Fraulardacle das party......ermmm haas made voted for a new leader und replace vou."

Fraulardcle look up shocked and angry:

"Unds is dis?"

The minster then replied.....

"Fraularde das have voted for......Billy Idol!"

With that the lard queen was triggered to the point her massive lard stared to emit its own gravity field and started pulling everything within its reach into its own rolls. Which caused a temporary black hole event that sucked up Fraulardalce into itself.

And that is the Slothz Tale of Twlight of the Lard Queen.

[HP Mageson666]

Three Minutes To Vegan

So here I was just chilling out.....


When these new age dudes came up to me and told me......




"The way to ascended man is like you got be vegan and be about the love......Dude if you eat the rainbow you become the rainbow man you can't like ascended dude without being vegan man.... By the way have you seen our meth......errrr.....ummmmm...... Magic Crystal dealer around dude...."



So I sat down and became vegan and I ate all the plant foods the color of the rainbow but when I got to the banana I almost became an atheist. After that I sat back and said "I am vegan and I umm love stuff" then the reality I was apart of started to disappear as I heard John Lennon's song: Imagine, playing in the background as I started to levitate out of my chair and my body transformed itself into a rainbow kabala of light just at this moment a portal to the center of the galaxy opened and transported me to a magical realm.

Then this being.....



Stepped out of the light and welcomed me to Vegantopia and offered me his blessing upon this I looked upwards and realize the most important truth was the earth is flat......

[HP Mageson666]

Letters From Bob Mario Rooney

Bob Mario Rooney speaks and writes in a different language called Christard, its similar to English but not quite in fact it appears to almost make no sense and be of a limited intellect but the ability to speak this is called speaking in tongues it appears that when "god" speaks thought Bob Mario Rooney in cases such as this, that this god is simply retarded . However its revealing their word for Broney is near identical to the English word for the same. In fact the case this word exists at all within this language of mystical tongues is revealing. And makes this relic stranger then fiction.


The Letter:


Deare Mr Slotho




Mu nam is Bobbio Mario Rooney da turd ann stent u a pictard ufe me aboove two shower u hauw filld weeth da spearit oove chrisyst I wiz ann I juest wroote da teell u abut muh xspearnce weeh da une livin goad jeesus chrisy. I hoopen des lettetard wull led u two gaod. I waz livin a seenful liye do'en doorgs anns stooff ann I paired two jessus fart heep jesuus appared two muh dooring muh pair anns tooled muh hee waz guing toot full muh wee da holly spearit ass I lair doown jeebus lyfted hee roobe anns floods of juish diarreewah guushd out anns feels muh mooth till it waz cooming outda muh eairs aftertard beeinz fill with da holly spearit I nuw runs a utuube chanel devuted two edboocatin peepoo onn jeezus calld da virgin chrisystain peelze retardn du chrisyt anz stuup beeeing ebvil pleaze donut bee imtimmidated buy muh supeeror intenllence dat da holly spearit hash geebin muh

Pee S, stoop hatn onn broneys

[HP Mageson666]

Slothz Tales Rock'in Roll Kike

As the four Slothz were sitting in their favourite eatz place enjoying their Hitler ice cream the Televison in the ice cream parlor came on.......

"Welcome to the 2018 Ha-Shem music awards! With featured performances from the hip act, Ditchweed Dale and the Doodoo's.........Take it away Ditchweed!" The announcer yelled across the television.

As the major performer who looked like this guy:



Got up on the stage and started screaming out his current hit song to the cheering of the crowd:

"Muh name is Diiiiitchweed Dale, Dudes and if you don't wannabe lame and you wannabe be cool then ditch learning its not cool...... Don't be a smart dweeb and just smoke weeeeeedddd!"

With a look of natural disgust Amonbra picked up the remote and switch off the television.

Just at that moment a guy who looked like this but is not this.....




Came running out of nowhere yelling: "Hey, hey, hey, yod vav hey, unhuman dudes like what are you doing turning off the Talmudvison like that.....Don't ya wannabe be cool!"

"Who's iz you?" asked Fancy Slothz

"I am Rock'in Roll Kike! And I do Kohmaim!......Dudes don't yahweh wanna check out the like next act and stuff....Dudes its like totally cool, the dude is called like get this! Commantard Khoenhole! And he raps about how he does crack cocaine in his butt crack! Dude is that not like totally edgy and rebellious or what its going to the nuuuu trend!"

"Crap" Stated Roadbrah, "yeah totally crap" stated all four Slothz in agreement.

"Crap where!" Rock'in Roll Kike stated with excitement as he looked around happily.

" Wait a minute......Whuuut!!!" Stated Rock'in Roll Kike angrily "Like how dare you dudes hate on Commantard Khoenhole like dudes what are you like anti-Semitic or something? What kind of music do you dudes like I bet its totally like uncool and lame man, like totally!!!" Rock'in Roll Kike stated as he folded his gangly arms across his flabbily chest and looked down his painted camel toe on his face he called a snout.

"Billy Idolz music! Rulez!!!" Stated all four Slothz in agreement.

"Bill.......Bill......Billy........Billy Goydal!" Rock'in Rock Kike near muttered with a look of frightful shock on his ugly clown face. "Oy Brony!" He exclaimed as he nervously wiped the kosher sweat off his brow with a cloth revealing an even uglier face underneath the already ugly clown one.

"Dudes you need to like totally ditch that act like NOW! And get with Commantard Khoenhole!" Rock'in Roll Kike yelled as he waved his hands around in the air knocking over the waitresses plate she was carrying onto the floor causing a loud crash and mess. "Oy that's a mess, you better like totally get some one to clean that up. That's what Gentiles are for!" Rock'in Roll Kike prattled out of the clown hole from under the camel toe he called a snout.

"Dudes yahweh all got to get on board with the new CHOSEN trends, man we decide and you like have to follow!" Rock'in Roll Kike stated in a demanding, tone with an even more obnoxious look on its already obnoxious mug.

"Noze we don't's" Stated Slotho.

"Oh Yeah, then like you tell me dudes what is the coolest thing on earth, if not Commandtard Koenhole! You tell me and I will tell you how to think!"

"Hitler!" Fancy Slothz stated. "Totalitys Hitler!" Amonbra and Roadbra stated....."Hitlerz for sures!" Stated Slotho.

"Heee.........Hiiiiii.....HITLER!" Rock'in Roll Kike stated with the tone and look of total shock on his already shockingly ugly face. As smoke started to come out his ears and his tupee started to rise into the air as his lizard man eyes started to roll up into the back of his pointed misshapen head.

Right at that moment Billy Idol's newest underground hit "Swastika Awesome Now!' Came on Amonbra's radio. As its righteous sound filled the room Rock'in Roll Kike started to spazz out and sway all over the place while tearing out his side locks and shrieking in Hebrew as the spittle flew from his mouth and even fouler stench filled the air. "AHHHHHH! TURN IT OFF OY VEH HASHEM!" Rock'in Roll Kike screamed as his body kvetched with rage.

Just then Amonbra jumped up on the table and said:" Stick this in your Koenhole where da Hashem don't shines!" As he threw a bucket of Hitler ice cream on Rock'in Roll Kike....

As the Hitler ice cream splattered all over Rock'in Roll Kike, he started to emit smoke as he spun faster and faster like a dradle top shinking down to just a pile of clothes on the ground as a nasty fart smell filled the air.

Just then a small like gawd fly in clown make up flew upwards and landed on the Slothz table and started shrieking in a Yiddish rage and buzzing around making a obnoxious fart smell as it went. Just it landed and started shrieking something that sounded like the Hebrew curse there was a loud splatting noise and clown make up and doodoo went all over the table. Amonbra's swatted the gawd fly with a fly swatter that had the letters RTR on it.

"Silly joo flyz don't joo know Satan always winz in da ends." Amonbra cooly stated.


And that is Slothz Tale of Rock'in Roll Kike.

[Europe Gladio]

I especially liked the names you gave the Sloth characters.

[Hps.mlimlal666]

[Nick Vabzircnila]

Billy Goydal ...

[HP Mageson666]

As we rolled downz the highyway to Hellz we turned up the Billy Idolz radio that was playing BIlly Idolz new hit song: Europe didn't get anything from Islamic Arabs.


Then Fancy Slothz noticed by the roadside a guitar case carrying, hitch hiking weed, flagging us down yelling tax. As we rolled up it was this guy:




He opened the doorz and jumped in: "Hey dudes my name is Chuck Lie'bral. But my people call me Cuck." Fancy Slothz said "Oh! look a talking ditch weed, I never met one of these before." and told him: "We can give you a ride back home just points out the ditch you live in and well drop you off there!" "Maybe a talking stink weed?" Amonbrahz said as he leaned over and started spraying Cuck with a airz fresher can. Coughing loudly, Cuck yelled "duudde!....stop it I'am not a ditch weed....I am like a person man!" Roadbrahz looking puzzled stated: "Maybes he is a transitioning weed to female, weedsexual?"

As we started driving off, Cuck opened his guitar case and pulled out the biggest bong on earth and with a dopey smile stated: "Dudes, check' it out, its the Potarded orbital bongoloid model. Did you dudes like know that That's some like shit really means like consciousness in like another language and stuff, its like I take a hull and I am like damn!!! That's some good shit right there. It means like that's some good consciousness. Cause dudes you know like weird, naked brown people in the forest like do this kind of stuff to expand their consciousness to do stuff like squat in the jungle for like ever and sniff stuff. Oh like dudes its totally awesome or what!" Amonbrahz stated: "This Ditch weed smells like some serious consciousness." As he was reaching for the airz fresher can again.

Afterz expanding on his weirdoze, philosophyz of worthlessz Cuck opened up his backpack and pulled out these bagz of stuff and said: "Dudes checks this stuff! This is how I escape from reality I got the different styles labeled on the bags to know what I am up for! This is the brand I call this one Mainstream Media, here is like the other brand: Equality. Dudes its heavy shit man! Oh, wow! Dudes! This brand will your melt your minds forever I dub this one....Hollywood!"

Then Cuck reached deeps into his backpackz and pulled out another bag and stated with stoner glee: "Dudes when I want to get like totally high on my own supply I use this one..."He turned the bag arounds and it said in big letterz:JEWSUS. On the label. Withs a image of a cross.


"oh!" said Fancy Slothz. 'is it not cannibalism for Ditch Weeds to eatz other weeds?"

Then Cuck said loudly and happy: "Dudes you know why this brand is sooooo good? Cause Jewsus was like the first Brony man! Is that not cool. He was totally about friendship magic!"

Amonbrahz looked at Cuck and said: "Jewsus? You mean that emotionally disturbed, dump sniffing, Joo fairy who watches you go to the bathroom, causes hez always watching."

"Jewsus clopped, somehow I am not surprised." Roadbrahz said.

As cuck was playing aroundz trying to litez his Bongoloid device, just as he was about to lite up he saidz: "Lets light up for the Lord!" But dropped his lighter on the floor with a loud "Oy Brony!" He started to look around the floor behind the seat for it. I just looked at myz Slothz Brahz and we nodded and putz our seatz belts on as I speedz ups to two hundreds miles an hour as Cuck was groping around in the dark looking for his litez. Then turning up the Billy Idolz I hitz the brakes and Cuck went head first into the melt platez in the front seat.......

"Awwwoooohhhhh!" Cuck yelled with a thud sound. Then Amonbrahz and Fancy Slothz opened the door and pushed Cuck out. As I droves away Cuck was still holding on the floor boardz screaming loudly as Fancy Slothz stood up and started hitting him in the face with the bongz saying "Bad Ditch Weed go away now!" Cuck just screamed "God damn it dudes I am a human being, awwwwwoooooh stop hitting me, stop it! stop......." Cuck starting coughing as Amonbrahz sprayed him in the face with the airz fresh can. "Awwwwh! I am not a stink weed man! let me back in, I need to get high!" Roadbrahz climbed over and started slamming the door on Cuck's hands which made Cuck screech. "Nothingz is working, the Talking Ditch Weed is too strongz " Roadbrahz yelled at me.

So I toldz him "Breakz the Bongz itz the source of his retardz strength. Then he willz be forced to face his total andz one, weakness.....Realityz." Fancy Slothz threw the Bongz out the door as Cuck screamed and it hit the roads and brokez aparts. "Noooooo!" Cuck screamed as his hands let go and he rolled down the highwayz screaming till he hit a pot hole and flew threw the wind shield of a taxis drove by this guy:




And it crashed into a ditch along the roads sides. "Well looks like Ditch Weed finally mades it home." Fancy Slothz stated as he closed the door on the Slothz mobilez.


And chucking Cuck's backpacks out the windows we drove off threw the night, to the roar of the Slothz mobilez and the soundz of BIlly Idolz.






And that's the Talez Of Ditch Weed Dale!



Epilogue:

It was a cold and stormy night as Rabbi Shekelstien nervously adjusted his kippah on his pointed Jew head. As the rain pounded down upon the Synagogue. Rabbi Shekelstien couldn't shake the feeling of dread he had not felt since the last time he had to spend a shekel somewhere on something. As he wiped the rancid sweat from his grimy brow. And unrolled the giant Torah scroll in front of him. As it unrolled he noticed a large bundle in the center of the scroll. Shocked he slowly unrolled it to his absolute horror to find......A Swastika sticker covered Sloth eating a strip of bacon. Before he could react he heard the loud roar of an engine and the blasting sound of Billy Music filling the Synagogue. He stared in shock as a Cab painted with Swastika's and air brushed Billy Idol icons crashed threw the front doors speeding towards him. Enveloped in the head lights. He just slid down the side of the podium with a look of terror on his already terrifying looking Jew mug, and tried in his last moment to do the one thing a Jew loves to do.....Shit his pants, but not even that was possible.........

"Oyyyyyyyyy Vehhhhhh!" Rabbi Shekelstien yelled as he awoke sitting upright with the smell of fear and bagel gas and sweat as he shoved his claw like Jew hands into his hairy, rancid arm pits. Rocking back and forth in fright like a mad man just muttering one thing and only one thing over and over......."The Goyim know....The Goyim know......The Goyim.....Know!"



And that baby! Is what happens when a Jew reads Slothz Tales!

[HP Mageson666]

Slothz Tales: Chub's Crisco



It was a balmy evening as Chub's Crisco also know as Cenk Booger, also know as the "Turd Beast" slouched agitatedly behind the wheel of his car, his sausage like fingers, greasily gripping the leather tightly, on his way home from anchoring his failing show, the Young Turds, he named after a jewish political movement that racially holocausted a million Armenians, helped to start the First War and destroy the Turkish Empire from within to build Israel for their race. Following their Torah they murdered a million Armenians on the statement the Armenians were the People Of Amalek [the White Race] who their race religions tells them must be wiped off the earth.

As Chub's sat stuck in traffic, he angry adjusted the My Little Pony figurines sitting on the top of his dash board as he shoved another doughnut in his large mouth. Stressed out after spending 12 hours straight, screaming that White People don't deserve to live and anyone who states otherwise is a fucking racist, hater. "Fuck!!!!!! How the fuck could this happen! Damn it!" Chub's yelled as he ripped at high level decimal fart into the cracked leather seat of his beat up car. "How the Fuck did Trump get elected!!!! Arguruh! I mean how could White People vote for that fascist too White looking asshole! Especially after we spent all that time ordering them to vote for Hillary! I mean all that time we told them they should just die already because they are the scum of the fucking earth for being White. They still disobey us and go do want they want!!!!!"

As Chub's turned the dilapidated knob of his car radio thought the stations all of a sudden Billy Idol's hit song, White Wedding. Came on, "Ahhhhhh.......Bronay, fuck no!" Chub's yelled as Billy Idol always deeply triggered him. Somehow every station he turned to was playing this same song....."Fuck it already!" Chub's screamed as he tried to turn off the radio to no success, sheiking with hysterical rage he punched the radio till it stopped working. Which didn't take long as the thing was fucking old and cheap.

As Chub's pulled up to the driveway of his house that the neighbours called "The Adam's Family Shack" he rush through the weeds and trash that was his front yard, swearing as he opened the door to his place and charged inward slamming the door behind him. As he rushed to the kitchen hungry after it was only five minutes since he last ate. He swatted at the cockroaches on the kitchen counter as he made a pile of pig slop in his frying pan. As he grabbed the bottle of kosher cooking oil he screamed in anger "Its fucking empty....... I bet those Nazi's did this!" He picked up a dirty cloth off the counter and wiped face into it profusely then taking the now soaked in Chub grease cloth, he wrung the grease into the pan. "Oh yeah! Baby! Chub's got the grease lighting today, heh, heh!" He yelled with joy.

As Chub's flung his fat ass down into his old sofa which stunk like stale farts, he stated to eat, as he turned on the TV and flipped thought channels he became enraged at the Trump coverage of the now President Trump. "Fuckkkkk!! You for not being not White and not a Woman! You orange asshole!" Chub's yelled in rage. Then Chub's shut up almost in a daze as he thought he saw Billy Idol standing next to Trump just for a second on stage and he noted Billy Idol music was playing as Trump stood on stage to give his winning speech. Chub's wiped the sweat off his greasily forehead as the phone rang......As Chub's sat there staring in fear wondering if its the same caller that just phoned him 665 times in the last hour.,..... "Hello" Chub's stated into the receiver...... The voice on the other end stated:

"Thiz is the Slothz telly phone'in service givins you a public service announcements......Billy Idol is winz, jooz is lose!"


Chub's jumped up from his old stank sofa grabbing the phone and yelling with hysterical rage into the phone "This is the 666th time you have fuck'in phoned me to tell me the exact same fucking god damn thing!!!! Stop calling me already you racist!!!! Fuck you and Billy Idol too!!!!!!! Are you going to stop harassing me with this fucking shit, I'm sweat'in butt grease......fuck'in butt grease, over this already so fuck off!!!!"

The voice replied back to Chub's: "Itz a Billy Idol World nowz cause Swastika Awesome wonz and stuff, bitchz."

Chub's screamed in incoherent rage as he threw his phone against the dirt stained wall, sheiking with the butt hurt of the entire brony universe as a brown stain emerged thought his Karl Marx, adult brand diaper. "fuck'in berryshitz" Chubs yelled in anger.

Later that night as Chub's laid in his grease stained bed, covered in food crumbs, as he tossed and turned gripping the sweaty sheets he awoke with fright to the phone next to his smelly bed, ringing. "hellloooo its 3:33 am who....who is calling?" Chubs asked. The voice on the other end spoke in a British accent: "Hey mate, Billy Idol here just telling you to go fuck yourself, and White Power!" Chubs shot up trigged, near hallucinating with rage Chubs tried to yell something but his fat foot landed on his Fluttershy reads the Torah, audio book as he spun out of control his massive rolls acted like a gyroscope effect spinning him around in the air splattering grease all over the walls as Chub's hit the ground. A large brown stain appearing in his Adult diapers.

As Chub's awoke needing a safe space he grabbed the only thing he loved more then his own BO, his blow up doll with Hillary's face taped to it, hugging it as he rocked back and forth crying hysterically like a turd beast Muppet.


Just repeating one thing over and over "Your a fucking White Male!".

[HP Mageson666]

Santa's Little Helper's A Yule Slothz Tale


It was a cold day at the North Pole as the four Slothz: Slotho, Amonbrahz the Where wizard , Roadbrahz and Fancy Slothz, arrived at their destination the office of Santa. Were Santa himself was waiting to greet them: "Heil, Heil, Heil, my merry Slothz band. I have brought you all back to the Polar Homeland because I have a dangerous mission this Eve, every letter I get this year from the children of the world, all want one thing for this Yuletide, the wish to end the jew world order. For this we carry a special cargo. Now I warn you four, the goblin's will try and stop this mission. So remember the three things that can defeat the goblin's are fire, water and the swastika. Now I will meet you four at my sleigh soon." Said Santa to the four Slothz. The Slothz replied back: "Hail Santa!" And then went on their Slothz'in way.


The fourth Slothz went on their way as they made their way to Santa's sleigh they walked past the workshop halls filled with Slothz in cool hats, singing Billy Idol songs as they merrily created the new cargo for Santamas morning. Its a little known fact but Slothz are actually from the North Pole, they are also called Elves which means Slothz in another language so whatever.

Later Santa met them and they were off to the stars. As they made their way Amonbrahz pulled out a special package a rock of coal with a special note attached to it. As this was going on the Turban Brony was busy admiring his new Friendship Jesus magic manger set he had just put up as his new mail box. The Turban brony then prayed in a thick paki accent: "Oy Brony, Brony lord jewsus, I beg thee to answer me with a special prayer show me a sign any sign of god of universe!!!" Just as he finished his lame prayer he noted what looked like a green flash heading towards him, shielding himself in panic he ducked as the green flash hit his manger sending it flying apart. As the Turban brony moved towards the wreckage he noted a black coal rock with a note on it......"Oh lard this is the message, thank you oh miracles of miracles!" As he read the note it was just a cartoon doodle of a Slothz smashing his brony stuff with a bat, while flipping him the bird. The Turban brony noted something else on the back was a message that read: Stop beingz a bronzy and Hailz Santa." The Turban brony eyes rolled up backwards as his turban burst in flames with a loud farting sound and smoke came out his ears. "Gooooddddd is Santa........" He said as in shock.......Santaism triggers bronys.

With this he went into a coma like state when he came out of it, he took off what was left of his Fluttershy turban, dedicated to Santa then sat down and meditated, repeating the mantra Santanama. As he did this he felt the epic lameness of bronyism leaving his body forever and he radiated awesome win. With tears streaming down his face he thanked Santa for saving him from the worthlessness of Bronyism.


As the Slothz jumped down on one of the last roofs of the night they knew they had been lucky so far as to be one step ahead of the goblin's as they Slothzed down the chimney with the presents.... They knew the globin's might be near. As they could feel the nasty stink of them in the air.

"Quckz get the presents under the win tree" said Roadbrahz, "ohhh I wonder whats in the eats box humans have in the kitchenz," said Fancy Slothz, "Hey I wonder whatz this chickz venus iz" said AMonbrahz as he looked at the pictures on the mantle over the fire place...... "Wherez is the cookiez and stuff" said Slothzo.....

Just then they heard a noise as the light turned on revealing several globin's standing there.......

"Youuuu Slothz is in trouble now" the lead globin snorted out in thick accent.......


"Why is globinz noses sooo bigz.....cause airs is free and stuff" stated Amonbrahz......

Just as the globin's were about to yell and run in to the attack enraged by Amonbrahz further, the four Slothz picked up the table and yelled "Billy Idolz is winz!" as they threw the table at the goblins and then ran in different directions being chased by the globin's.....


As Fancy Slothz and Roadbrahz ran into the kitchen, Fancy Slothz pulled a coin out......"Qucikz open the door to the heatz grubz box......" As Roadbrahz did this Fancy Slothz rolled the coin down the kitchen hall the globins overcome by their instincts started chasing after the coin instead, as it bounced into the oven, the globins dived into after it, with Roadbrahz jumping out from the cupboard and slamming the door shut and locking it in place..... As the Globin's were fighting over the penny inside till they melted into a puddle of poo like goo.


Meanwhile upstairs one of the globin's chased Amonbrahz into the washroom.....The globin chased inside growling as it looked for Amonbrahz.....The globin was overcome for a second by the view of the toilet a globin's favourite abode and most holy place.....as the globin stated to pray the turd god prayer which is the globin god, in front of their holy shine of the shitter. Amonbrahz jumped out from behind the door and threw the globin into the bathtub hitting it over the head with a bar of soap as the globin fell over Amonbrahz turned on the shower....... The globin yelled out as it melted like the wicked witch of the west in a puddle of poo looking goo. "Dontz forgets to wash behindz your nose, globin" Amonbrahz laughed out.


Meanwhile Slotho ducked behind the corner of the hallway as he quickly pulled out a winz marker and drew the symbol of the swastika on his paw as the globin was about to turn the corner, Slotho jumped out and stuck it on the forehead with his paw....The globin yelled as the swastika ink print formed the holy sign on its forehead the goblin burst into a smelly smoke as it fell over and landed on the top of a lampshade and melted over it leaving it covered in a poo like goo.

The four Slothz met up on the roof with Fancy slothz pockets full of free grubz from the kitchen. As they got onto Santa's sleigh they made they way back home...,,, That morning they sat around the table of Santa's office drinking Hitler ice cream milk shakes.........


While that morning all the children of the world awoke to their presents from Santa under the tree. As they opened them they beheld in wonder that Santa had granted them their wish, to end the jew world order as each child opened the box under the tree to find a total copy of all the reverse torah rituals!

[HP Mageson666]

Slothz Tales: Vegvan

Sos we waz sittin's around the table at the eatz place, talk'in about how awesome winz, Hitler stuffz is. And how stinky the jooz is.....

You knows whats the Torahz first line is in heeboobz is? Stated Amonbrahz...

Whatz? Saids, Fancy Slothz and Roadbrahz.....

"Bereshit"...It meanz......In the beginning was shit, Saidz Amonbrahz.....

Pooz people is the jooz. Beryshitz is their mostz holy line in the jooz book....Stated Amonbrahz...

Thatz why the jooz puts their symbols on stuff to showz its jewcy like the berryshit in their Torahz....Stated Amonbrahz

During this convos this weirdos look'in dude walks up with this drinkz that lookz like Swamp thing, tooks a dumps in it, and starts to make noise at us......




Hey unhuman dudes! What's that you all eatin, is that Vegan? Cause if it is you can all rock with me in my van!

Withz that's he pointz to this strange van in the lot that was built to looks like the black cubes the pooz wears on their pointy noggin's.

Oh, thiz is Hilter Ice Cream, its what Slothz like and stuffz, said Fancy Slothz...

"Oh fucking come ON MAN!" ....."Don't you dudes get you should be vegan then you can get in my van....man!"

Yours van is failz, it looks like a pooz cube....stated Amonbrahz....


"Don't hate dude, its like CHOSEN to look that way, man! You dudes need to all get van...ermmmm.... I mean vegan, right now!"

Ummm......noes, we all stated to this creepy weirdoodoo....

"Oy Brony Oy jewcy!!!!" He screamz as the vegvan man grapped the under one pounds, paper marche table and attempted to lifts it up and flip it.

"Ahhhhhhh!!!! I will shoahwaah!!!! You all dudes! the mighty power of the vegvan!!!!!" He screamed as hes face turned redz and his whole body was shakings and hiz like not there muscles was tremblings as he attempts to lifts the paper marche table.....

"I will show you the power, luuuuckkkkyyyy.......dudessss, I drank my jewcy berry vegvan smoothie this morning, AHHHHH!" He gasped outs......

As hes struggles to mustards the strengths all of a sudden this wicked fartz sounds ripped outs of him......And a strange smell.....

"Berryshit, in my pants, ohhhhh G_d, the jewcy effart!" He gasped out as hez collapsed downwards and slumped over the tables....

"See dudes the vegan diet gives you better strength I was able to almost move this table that weights a ton, man! Its got better nutrients for your health, meat and dairy is totally bad for you man!" As hes grabbed his Swamp thing dump drinks, he started coughings his hairs fell off and some of his denturs fellz outs on the tables..... Whichs the vegvan creature started lickin's the denturz and stuff with this reptilianz looking tongue....





"Goys......ermmm GUYS! You Need to go vegvan like right now dudes!"

Herrrs eatz this we gotz this for yous from the chiefs its vegans and stuff..... Amonbrahz said as hes handed hims a bacon cheesburgz....

"Oh wow thanks dudes, see you can eat all kinds of cool things that would be jewcy forberry-bidden, in the Tor....urm....ah, AHA! This vegan bacon burger tastes totally great dudes!" As the freakz munchkin's it downz...... Whens it was finished eating itz....... Amonbrahz tolds the truths that's is not vegan and there anit no vegan grubz on this menu....


"OY BRONY........AHHHHH!!!!!" It startz screaming all kinds of heeboobz sounding jooberryshits...ish.... Thens we all grabs the tables and yelled Billy Idolz Is Winz!!!! As we rams it into his legs and watchs as he fell downs thoughs the table and lands face firsts into the floors.....knocking it unconscious and stuffz....

As we rans outside we surronds the vegvans and Amonbrahz pulled out the batz of winz and started bashings outs all the windowis in the cubes vegvans as Fancy Slothz lets the airs out of the tires and stuff and Roadbrahz took a piss on the steering wheels...

As they dids this I summonded the Hooganz........

"Slothz, Brothers.....Fuck this vegvan, jewrcy berryshit, watcha you going to do vegvan, watcha going to do when Hitler mania! Runs wild all over jewcy jooz!"




The Hulks lifted the vevgan doodoo cube up into the airs and threws it far into the sky as it hits the grounds explodings into millions of doo bits......


And that's is the Talez of the Vegvans......


Addendum

As the vegvan creature awoke in its full vegan form he howled in rage at the loss of the vegvan doo cube...





Which caused the villagers to notice and chase the creature through the night with pitchforks and torches.

[HP Mageson666]

As this guy


Was driving down the road eating a vegan burger on his way to pick up his girl friend Vegan Bible Red, while listening to his favourite album "Jesus is friendship magic" as its lame vibes drummed its way into his washed brain...... He started to cry in a panic attack as he swerved his car off to the side of the road pounding the steering wheel with his impotent fists as he rocked back and forth tears flowing down his cheeks. "Why Gooood! I am so lame still? I thought all this would change me! After it all I am still nothing but Virginlent Skrillex!". As He got out of his car dragging his feet as he just starting walking in a depressed daze he flung himself down under a tree as he called out "Goooood whoever or whatever you are please! Help me! I am fooking feed up talking to a gooood that is never there! Whoever you really are please help me! I suck so much!"


As he buried his face in his hands sobbing uncontrollably he heard a voice state "Helloz dis iz true you really ares lame and stuff." As the virginlent Christian looked around surprised he stated "who....who said that?" Then he heared the voice state: "Over here's dummyz" The Virginlent one looked up and saw this:



"Whoa a talking Sloth.....Gooood does work in mysterious ways" The Virginlent one stated in a surprise.

"I amz Cobrah!" Stated Cobrah the slothz. "I amz heres to answer your prayers and stuff you haves becomes so lame you don't even remembers what winz is!" Stated Cobrah.


"I know" The virginlent one stated as he looked downward sadly.

"I will shows youz the truths of He who name is Truth!" Sits back and closes your eyes I will helps you on this spirit quest!"Stated Corbrah.

As the Virginlent one sat back and closed his eyes Corbah touched his forehead with his paw and opened the Virginlents one inner sight. As a loud booming sound went thought the Virginlents mind as he was sucked out temporal time and space his mind reeled in amazement as he saw the long march of centuries going all the way back to the dawn of his ancestors. He saw the great God and Goddess bringing man forth into the world, the great Rishi's performing the fire rituals at the dawn of time the vast white marble and golden domed cities touching the sky lines of a world of luminous beings of the golden age giving praises to the Gods and Goddess and becoming what they praised. He saw his own inner truth this was his own destiny bestowed upon him by the living God who is Truth......

The Virginlent one opened his eyes returning to the current time with a look of shock on his face he uttered..."Satan is God!" as he sat there looking stunned he felt a current of win flow thought his body as the power of truth flowed thought him he spoke the truth to power as from his own mouth the eternal reality followed as words "Satan IS GOD!". As he ripped the cross from his neck he yelled as he jumped up and stomped the cross into the ground. He looked over and saw a Billy Idol cd next to a bacon cheese burger sitting on the tree stump next to him. Where Cobrah had been only a empty container of Hitler Ice Cream was.

As the Virginlent one jumped in his car he put in the Billy Idol CD as he drove off down the road he tossed the brony crap along with the bible out the window as he was eating his bacon cheese burger. As he drove he saw the hottest chick ever by the side of the road with his new found confidence he stopped and offered her a ride. As she got in the car she said "Oh wow that is Billy Idols new album! Hey I am going to his concert and I got a spare ticket wanna go together as a date!" She stated with a smile. "Totally baby totally!" The virginlent one replied as he put his arm around her.

As he drove on with his new date he drove passed his former girl friend Vegan Bible Red who looked like this chick:




Stopping his car he looked over at her as she screamed at him: "Just where have you been and.....who is THAT! Oh my Jesus is that Billy Idol music turn that off right NOW! I smell.. oooooh NOOOOO THAT better not be bacon....... Get out of that car right now mister or I am telling Jesus on you!"

"Tell Jesus to polish his cross up real nice and shove it straight up his candy kike ass on his way to the smack down hotel!" The no longer virginlent one stated as he flipped her the bird and threw the bacon chesse burger wrapper in her face as he drove off laughing with his new super cool lady.

"Ahhhhhh" screamed Vegan Bible Red as the bacon grease splashed her "Get back here right now.....damn you.....damn you......And your......your.........your.....SATANIC SWAG!" She yelled as her face turned as red as her goofy hair in her impotent rage.


As the no longer Virginlent one drove off reborn in his soul as something awesome he looked upwards towards the new dawn and said "Thank you Commander Cobrah for showing me the Truth!"

And that is the Slothz Tale of Satanic Swag.

[Aldrick Strickland]

I do love Billy Idol he is one of my favorite Artists. He was so Hot when he was younger, he looked like an Aryan God. I watched a documentary where it said he had constant orgies with Girls and Guys. I wish we had more Artists like this today, Unfortunately all we get is trash most times.

[HP Mageson666]

One day as the Slothz where chilling in a park discussing the deeper realities of esoteric Billy Idolism. A golem looking creature guy who looks like this guy but is not this guy:



Came up to the Slothz and started to make noise at them from the butthole under its nose..... And introduced itself: "Greetings non-human brothers I am Mr Whizz and I have come to tell you all about the supreme truth and what they don't want you to know mates."

"Who iz they?" Ask Fancy Slothz

"You know AOBTJ, mate AOBTJ."

"Whoz?" Asked Fancy Slothz.

"AnyOne But The Jews. mate AnyOne But The Jews." Stated Mr Whizz


"What don't they wantz knows and stuff?" Asked Roadbrah.

Mr Whizz then looked around and leaned in and stated with nasty smelling butthole breath. "That the sun is not round mate, its actually in the shape of a....BOWL."

"Why do theys wantz this covered ups and stuff?" Asked Crobrah.

"Because non-human dudes......Its the key to the Pisstos you know Christos its actually spoken Pisstos its the secret to becoming one with Christos."

Mr Whizz then went on:

"They don't want you to know mates their plan.......Which is the toilet BOWL conspiracy mates. They created the toilet in the shape of the bowl and made it to flush......So every time some one lets the pisstos into the bowl and they flush it.....Its flushing the Christos. That way the illuminati tricks you out of the truth....You lose your essence."

"The Truthz?" Stated Slothbrah...

"The Christoss" stated Mr Whizz creepily excited. "The truth is that the Pisstoss is within mates....The golden yellow nectar that Christos consciousness, one is to commune with by drinking from and reabsorbing...." As Mr Whizz stated this he took out a clear bottle full of what looked like apple juice and starred at it with a enchanted haunted look with his golem like bug eyed look on his creature mug "My one my only my.......Rabbi Pissecious" screamed Mr Whizz with a look of joy on his face he opened the cap and started chugging it....

"This dudez is messed" Stated Fancy Slothz.

"Nah mates" stated Mr Whizz as urine drops followed down his chin and onto his shirt....."Nah mates its you who has been deceived...look mates the Jews they knew about the Pisstoss they wrote it down in this bible....They have been feeding us this Rabbi piss for centuries mates." Stated Mr Whizz as he started to look more like a Golem creature as the piss went thought its system.

"That was the secret mates the last supper when Jesus drank his Pisstoss from the communion bowl mates to show one how to become one with him. The secret is mates the sun the outer Pisstoss its in the shape of the bowl and its fulllllll........its fullllll of COSMIC PISS." Screamed Mr Whizz as he threw his head back and arms into the air. And let out a loud farting sound.

Mr Whizz then went on and continued on its deranged piss soaked rant.

"We got to ascend mates by reabsorbing the Christoss within our souls by drinking it daily the piss starts to saturate my brain and I achieve Christos consciousness!"

"Ummmm the suns is rounds is a ball of gas" Stated Crobrah


"Satanic lies! Blasphemer!........Billy Idolatry lovers, MEAT EATER!" Screamed Mr Whizz as he went into a psychotic rage. "You will never inherit my fathers kingdom of Rabbi PISS!" Mr Whizz screamed with a look of rage.

"Lets settles this debates and stuff." Stated Slothbrah. As he pulled out a Genie lamp and rubbed it three times out of the lamp appeared....



Hoganz then grabbed Mr Whizz by his pencil neck and threw him into obit as Mr Whizz flew into the sun he looked with a strange smile on his strange mug and hugged his bottle and sang with glee "Oh Jesus into your golden shower I commend my spirit." As he finished his transformation into a golem creature and was vaporized in the sun.

"Whoah Slothz brothers that settles the argument about what the sun is!" Stated the Hoganz as the Slothz's cheered and ate some Hitler Ice Cream and turned up the Billy Idol music.

And that is the Slothz Tale of Mr Whizz.

[Dypet Rod]

Just wanted to share a nice coincidence.

Today I looked up "Slothz" for the first time in this forum, and it turned out 88 results xD

I even took a screen shot of it, but I don't seem to be able to add pictures from my phone.

[hailourtruegod]

Just wanted to share a nice coincidence.

Today I looked up "Slothz" for the first time in this forum, and it turned out 88 results xD

I even took a screen shot of it, but I don't seem to be able to add pictures from my phone.

If you feel like going thru the trouble you can use imgur or related sites.

[Dypet Rod]

Just wanted to share a nice coincidence.

Today I looked up "Slothz" for the first time in this forum, and it turned out 88 results xD

I even took a screen shot of it, but I don't seem to be able to add pictures from my phone.

If you feel like going thru the trouble you can use imgur or related sites.

I had to reset my phone several times during this retrograde Mercury period, and lost the screen shot in the process.
But thanks for the suggestion o/ might use it to post pictures here in the future.