Before I used to meditate for 3 hours in the morning and 2-3 hours at night, do 3 sessions of kundalini yoga with 216 repetitions every day along with hatha yoga, do about 20-40 rtr's a day during the war schedule, but some time has passed and my motivation for this has run out, I don't have the will anymore, I am procrastinating a lot and every time I am seeing the number 11:11 I feel that I am far away from satan, I can't even do rtr's right, I just want to be like before, I don't know what happened to me, I feel like a failure.

I feel so fucking alone, even when I am around people, even when I hug and kiss my girl the emptiness is not filled, I don't know what the fuck happened, Satan and the gods for sure are disappointed in me, I am also being pressured to go to college, I don't know what the big chaos that is coming will cause, I am on a farm, this has improved my well being a lot, I don't feel like doing anything, I need advice from experienced people.

You have to reboot.

Do a lot of cleaning and protection, but do not do crazy amounts of rtrs like you say you have done in the past. Doing 1-3 per day is fine anyhow.

You can use Sowilo for increased willpower.

I've recently been feeling the same way. I am still coming out of the "drained" feeling. I have been doing a lot of aura cleaning and void meditation. I visit our farm and ground there and anywhere I can get privacy in nature.
I appreciate Henu's advice on vibrating Sowilo. I will be doing that for sure. The post and advice is much appreciated.

The more you do rtrs, the more enemy attacks you. 1-3 is fine, as said above, stay safe.

Doing as much meditation as you can with no idea what you're doing or what is your objective is a good way to be fried, you have to do things with reason and common sense.
You said you meditated so much, but why did you meditate so much? Did you just do it so that you feel like you're becoming very powerful in a very short amount of time or..?

You should spend less time on the internet and be more in contact with yourself, think about the things you do and why you do them.
Mastering your thoughts goes a very long way, so you should do more void meditation and flame meditation instead of knocking yourself out with strong meditations, you should do more cleaning rather than empowerment as with empowerment you go to empower all the dross that your soul contains, DO cleaning meditations.

Don't pressure join college, you should have your ideas clear before taking such a decision, or it will cost you time and money.

Also, you're on a farm and it's summer, go have a walk or something, must be pretty nice.

One last thing:
It's about discipline and understanding, not motivation. Life does not rely on motivation, but on getting things done whether you like it or not.

Thank you all for the advice, I will use the sowilo rune to strengthen myself, focus on cleansing and meditating on emptiness.

Henu the Great said:

You have to reboot.

Do a lot of cleaning and protection, but do not do crazy amounts of rtrs like you say you have done in the past. Doing 1-3 per day is fine anyhow.

You can use Sowilo for increased willpower.

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I only do several rtr's when I have the war schedule.

StyleCoin said:

I only do several rtr's when I have the war schedule.

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In any case, it sounds like you have been overexerting. Take it easier.

Get back to the basics, lots of cleaning and protection. Void meditation. Use the Sun. You're on a farm, so I bet you have plenty of it. Absorb the energy, use it in combination with Sun mantras or the Sun Rune.

https://www.joyofsatan.org/www.angelfire.com/empire/serpentis666/Returning_Curses.html

For determination, self discipline and willpower you can use the Nauthiz rune. Works great. Make sure you check the Moon and the Planets.

Just take it slowly and don't be so judgemental and negative on yourself. Practice self awareness try to be conscious of your own negative thoughts jeopardizing the whole thing. Slow but steady. Also unfortunately, you have to drop the expectations, life is fucked up, some people are more fucked up than others, it is what it is, and you gotta work with what you got its not going to get any better if you don't seriously focus on the transformation. But know this is not permanent, you have the power, through Satan, to change the course of your destiny. Which brings me to the next two suggestions, that were given to me not too long ago, and have helped me greatly. Get back to Satan and the Gods, no demands or expectations, just be open. And they will reach out to you, if you prove to them and yourself that you are worthy.

Also, learn astrology, it helps you understand why you are the way you are and where exactly you need to change and improve.

Other than that, sleep well, eat healthy and do some sort of exercise. Martial arts or something like that. Great for building discipline.

Relax and trust yourself, you can do this.