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I don't know what to do, only Pain

Joined
Dec 28, 2018
Messages
44
Life is upside down for me lm trying my best to move forward but I find it difficult for me, I find it painful hard n difficult to focus in meditation. I plan my time table to fellow I find tht I hv short time, but I have alot I have to do, to study my school exams, reading books in different subjects like business studies, ICT, Agribusiness n entrepreneur, at th smtime I'm trying to practice my skill as a writer Author. I have lost weight these years, I'm trying to gain it by yoga or heavyweight but whn ever l do yoga or any othr training my head start to be filled with bad thoughts n stress it starts to be heavy n makes me tired, whn ever I do yoga or any other training my head gets dizzy n heavy in stressful was. In truth I have read books evn in Jos thr say if u do yoga u feel good n better or u feel wthout stress, but fr me it is different. And I work in this stressful company tht fills me wth pain all day n night. I feel so useless, at th smtyme I have money problems tht I'm trying to solve by setting my goals. It's like I'm losing myself have no friends indeed n in need, n I'm just 23 years old I don't have a girlfriend,every girl I try to talk to thr run away frm me, I wish I don't have this love thoughts in my head I just need smone to love It's like everything in my life is hard to achieve n get. Dear friends in Jos I need help life has not been easy for me for long now,
 
Hang on and persevere.
Life gets hard at some point in our lives.
However, you must persevere and pull through.
Forget about yoga for now or other trainings for a while.

What hobbies do you have ? What makes you lose hours in end? What makes you relaxed and at peace? What makes you release all your stress and is fun to you?

Do that till your hearts content when you are free. Take days or weeks. In this period of time don't focus much on training or yoga.
However, I would advise you to do Aura of Cleaning, Aura of protection and foundation everyday before you sleep and after you wake up.

After having released all of your pent up stress and frustrations.
Its time to solve your problems.

As for your bad thoughts,dizziness or stress, I cannot say much except move slowly but surely at your own pace.
Drops of water accumulate into a sea. If you consistently push through this phase, one day you will reap the fruits of your efforts. Do those training slowly, even only for 2 mins a day but do it daily despite stress and dizziness. Go slow but go daily.

Start doing Final RTR's. This will stop you from having any negative thoughts, dizziness or stress as it removes the source of the problem,the curses. It destroys them all. Go to this website

Evilgoy.com

Then find the time that fits with your schedule.

Do money spell working. Find the money spell yourself.

As for love, know that being self reliant comes first. Do your daily spirtual work. Set ambitions and goals for yourself. Ladies will be more attracted to you that way.
If a girl runs away from you, let them run. However find what made them run away in the first place. After you find out the problem, fix it.

Be strong and be proud. Have faith in yourself and persevere.
 
Black Matabele said:


Sounds like your Saturn is taking large control over your life with a heavy workload and strict time. Also if yoga is stressing you out, don't do it. It's not like your body is going anywhere, there can come a time in the future where you're more free with a more positive mindset and can do it, yoga is supposed to be relaxing and peaceful, but if it isn't helping you and is only making things worse, it's not going to kill you to take it out of your routine for now.


It also seems your workplace is a huge negative factor and right now I feel that's the biggest thing that needs to change in your life at the moment. Everything else you can work to attain afterwords but I know personally what it's like to be in a job that only makes you suffer miserably. What you need is a better more stress free job that's easier on you.

Now since you have virtually zero time in your schedule it seems to devote to a working to find a new job, I would suggest you seek direct help from one of our gods instead. Volac helps Satanists find better jobs. Respectfully, you can attempt to summon him and work on making an agreement in helping you find a better job. Usually such will show as opportunities being revealed to you or happening upon a job opening somewhere, an advertisement for a position, etc. Be specific in what kind of job you'd like, do you want one that is easier? Is less demanding? Is friendlier and more positive? One that pays more? More free time? You can also just ask the demon to help you find a job that is best for you in your current location and situation in accordance to what you need mentally, spiritually and physically and just allow the demon to choose for your betterment.

Expect to give something in return for Volac's help if he agrees, you may be urged or desire to do something specific for him, follow your gut-feeling and good luck.
 
Black Matabele said:
Life is upside down for me lm trying my best to move forward but I find it difficult for me, I find it painful hard n difficult to focus in meditation. I plan my time table to fellow I find tht I hv short time, but I have alot I have to do, to study my school exams, reading books in different subjects like business studies, ICT, Agribusiness n entrepreneur, at th smtime I'm trying to practice my skill as a writer Author. I have lost weight these years, I'm trying to gain it by yoga or heavyweight but whn ever l do yoga or any othr training my head start to be filled with bad thoughts n stress it starts to be heavy n makes me tired, whn ever I do yoga or any other training my head gets dizzy n heavy in stressful was. In truth I have read books evn in Jos thr say if u do yoga u feel good n better or u feel wthout stress, but fr me it is different. And I work in this stressful company tht fills me wth pain all day n night. I feel so useless, at th smtyme I have money problems tht I'm trying to solve by setting my goals. It's like I'm losing myself have no friends indeed n in need, n I'm just 23 years old I don't have a girlfriend,every girl I try to talk to thr run away frm me, I wish I don't have this love thoughts in my head I just need smone to love It's like everything in my life is hard to achieve n get. Dear friends in Jos I need help life has not been easy for me for long now,

Are you dedicated?
 
GG Allin said:
Black Matabele said:
Life is upside down for me lm trying my best to move forward but I find it difficult for me, I find it painful hard n difficult to focus in meditation. I plan my time table to fellow I find tht I hv short time, but I have alot I have to do, to study my school exams, reading books in different subjects like business studies, ICT, Agribusiness n entrepreneur, at th smtime I'm trying to practice my skill as a writer Author. I have lost weight these years, I'm trying to gain it by yoga or heavyweight but whn ever l do yoga or any othr training my head start to be filled with bad thoughts n stress it starts to be heavy n makes me tired, whn ever I do yoga or any other training my head gets dizzy n heavy in stressful was. In truth I have read books evn in Jos thr say if u do yoga u feel good n better or u feel wthout stress, but fr me it is different. And I work in this stressful company tht fills me wth pain all day n night. I feel so useless, at th smtyme I have money problems tht I'm trying to solve by setting my goals. It's like I'm losing myself have no friends indeed n in need, n I'm just 23 years old I don't have a girlfriend,every girl I try to talk to thr run away frm me, I wish I don't have this love thoughts in my head I just need smone to love It's like everything in my life is hard to achieve n get. Dear friends in Jos I need help life has not been easy for me for long now,

Are you dedicated?
......... Yes I dedicated myself whn I ws 16years old, 7 years ago
 
Ghost in the Machine said:
Black Matabele said:


Sounds like your Saturn is taking large control over your life with a heavy workload and strict time. Also if yoga is stressing you out, don't do it. It's not like your body is going anywhere, there can come a time in the future where you're more free with a more positive mindset and can do it, yoga is supposed to be relaxing and peaceful, but if it isn't helping you and is only making things worse, it's not going to kill you to take it out of your routine for now.


It also seems your workplace is a huge negative factor and right now I feel that's the biggest thing that needs to change in your life at the moment. Everything else you can work to attain afterwords but I know personally what it's like to be in a job that only makes you suffer miserably. What you need is a better more stress free job that's easier on you.

Now since you have virtually zero time in your schedule it seems to devote to a working to find a new job, I would suggest you seek direct help from one of our gods instead. Volac helps Satanists find better jobs. Respectfully, you can attempt to summon him and work on making an agreement in helping you find a better job. Usually such will show as opportunities being revealed to you or happening upon a job opening somewhere, an advertisement for a position, etc. Be specific in what kind of job you'd like, do you want one that is easier? Is less demanding? Is friendlier and more positive? One that pays more? More free time? You can also just ask the demon to help you find a job that is best for you in your current location and situation in accordance to what you need mentally, spiritually and physically and just allow the demon to choose for your betterment.

Expect to give something in return for Volac's help if he agrees, you may be urged or desire to do something specific for him, follow your gut-feeling and good luck.
. Th thanks fr th above two answers, wht should I do about my education,I need those as thr can help me in th future. My love life is boring, keep on falling in love with girls who do not love me back I just wonder why. I'm just feeling tired of it, I ws thinkng to stop my feelings love life
 
Black Matabele said:
Th thanks fr th above two answers, wht should I do about my education,I need those as thr can help me in th future. My love life is boring, keep on falling in love with girls who do not love me back I just wonder why. I'm just feeling tired of it, I ws thinkng to stop my feelings love life

In regards to your education you need to figure out what your own priorities are and what's most realistically important to you. That decision is entirely yours to make by weighing the real pros and cons in the long run of things.

As for your love life, the girls you draw to you or are drawn to yourself can be based upon your own energy compositions and what you're resonating with. If you're dealing with a lot of negativity for instance or self-loathing and depression in your life or soul then you're going to feel drawn to these same negative energies of girls who will treat you badly or also have these negative energies in them as well which can ultimately in the end hurt you in an abusive relationship or they may just leave you.

Likewise if you are drawn to a girl with positive energies, your own aura of stresses and lack in confidence and negative energies from such may be psychically felt by them over time even if they know nothing of spirituality, it happens subconsciously as women are naturally susceptive to psychic energies simply for their natural caterings to feminine aspects which has to do with the upper psychic chakras. And upon gradually sensing and realizing subconsciously the negative energies in your soul like this they will start to feel repelled by you and may end up dumping you.

This is why you need to work on other priorities at the moment first such as a change of job to help get yourself happier first so you can then better work on cleaning your soul and getting rid of negativity in your life such as stress and depression. Once you're happier with less stresses, you can more easily cleanse your soul and aura in time with white-gold energy and build a positive vibe to yourself. This will not only draw more positive partners for you in your life but you'll also be better able to tell intuitively who the bad ones are and which ones to avoid.

So I would suggest starting on the change of job first and getting yourself to a happier lifestyle first and foremost, and then afterwords you can start to work on your love life and attracting good partners in time. Think of it all as a work in progress right now, you're going to get there but you need to take some prerequisite steps to making things better for yourself. You could start updating your resume as a starter, and remember what I said especially about Volac, he could help you if he agrees to making a deal with you but you must make effort on your part.

You clearly don't want to be stuck in this purgatory forever, well you don't have to be and you're not chained to it, take those steps needed for change.
 
Black Matabele said:
GG Allin said:
Black Matabele said:
Life is upside down for me lm trying my best to move forward but I find it difficult for me, I find it painful hard n difficult to focus in meditation. I plan my time table to fellow I find tht I hv short time, but I have alot I have to do, to study my school exams, reading books in different subjects like business studies, ICT, Agribusiness n entrepreneur, at th smtime I'm trying to practice my skill as a writer Author. I have lost weight these years, I'm trying to gain it by yoga or heavyweight but whn ever l do yoga or any othr training my head start to be filled with bad thoughts n stress it starts to be heavy n makes me tired, whn ever I do yoga or any other training my head gets dizzy n heavy in stressful was. In truth I have read books evn in Jos thr say if u do yoga u feel good n better or u feel wthout stress, but fr me it is different. And I work in this stressful company tht fills me wth pain all day n night. I feel so useless, at th smtyme I have money problems tht I'm trying to solve by setting my goals. It's like I'm losing myself have no friends indeed n in need, n I'm just 23 years old I don't have a girlfriend,every girl I try to talk to thr run away frm me, I wish I don't have this love thoughts in my head I just need smone to love It's like everything in my life is hard to achieve n get. Dear friends in Jos I need help life has not been easy for me for long now,

Are you dedicated?
......... Yes I dedicated myself whn I ws 16years old, 7 years ago

Do you do F-RTRs regulary and afterwards Returning Curses 1&2?

About your love problem ask GAMORI. As always offer something in return (more F-RTRs for example).

Fokus on her sigil then ask politly :

Gremory_23881.gif


https://www.satanisgod.org/www.angelfire.com/empire/serpentis666/DEMONVI.html/index.html#GOMORY
 
Username said:
Hang on and persevere.
Life gets hard at some point in our lives.
However, you must persevere and pull through.
Forget about yoga for now or other trainings for a while.

What hobbies do you have ? What makes you lose hours in end? What makes you relaxed and at peace? What makes you release all your stress and is fun to you?

Do that till your hearts content when you are free. Take days or weeks. In this period of time don't focus much on training or yoga.
However, I would advise you to do Aura of Cleaning, Aura of protection and foundation everyday before you sleep and after you wake up.

After having released all of your pent up stress and frustrations.
Its time to solve your problems.

As for your bad thoughts,dizziness or stress, I cannot say much except move slowly but surely at your own pace.
Drops of water accumulate into a sea. If you consistently push through this phase, one day you will reap the fruits of your efforts. Do those training slowly, even only for 2 mins a day but do it daily despite stress and dizziness. Go slow but go daily.

Start doing Final RTR's. This will stop you from having any negative thoughts, dizziness or stress as it removes the source of the problem,the curses. It destroys them all. Go to this website

Evilgoy.com

Then find the time that fits with your schedule.

Do money spell working. Find the money spell yourself.

As for love, know that being self reliant comes first. Do your daily spirtual work. Set ambitions and goals for yourself. Ladies will be more attracted to you that way.
If a girl runs away from you, let them run. However find what made them run away in the first place. After you find out the problem, fix it.

Be strong and be proud. Have faith in yourself and persevere.
. Thanks for ur help, I have just decided to try start setting my goals
 
Username said:
Hang on and persevere.
Life gets hard at some point in our lives.
However, you must persevere and pull through.
Forget about yoga for now or other trainings for a while.

What hobbies do you have ? What makes you lose hours in end? What makes you relaxed and at peace? What makes you release all your stress and is fun to you?

Do that till your hearts content when you are free. Take days or weeks. In this period of time don't focus much on training or yoga.
However, I would advise you to do Aura of Cleaning, Aura of protection and foundation everyday before you sleep and after you wake up.

After having released all of your pent up stress and frustrations.
Its time to solve your problems.

As for your bad thoughts,dizziness or stress, I cannot say much except move slowly but surely at your own pace.
Drops of water accumulate into a sea. If you consistently push through this phase, one day you will reap the fruits of your efforts. Do those training slowly, even only for 2 mins a day but do it daily despite stress and dizziness. Go slow but go daily.

Start doing Final RTR's. This will stop you from having any negative thoughts, dizziness or stress as it removes the source of the problem,the curses. It destroys them all. Go to this website

Evilgoy.com

Then find the time that fits with your schedule.

Do money spell working. Find the money spell yourself.

As for love, know that being self reliant comes first. Do your daily spirtual work. Set ambitions and goals for yourself. Ladies will be more attracted to you that way.
If a girl runs away from you, let them run. However find what made them run away in the first place. After you find out the problem, fix it.

Be strong and be proud. Have faith in yourself and persevere.
. Thanks for ur help, I have just decided to try start setting my goals
 
Ghost in the Machine said:
Black Matabele said:
Th thanks fr th above two answers, wht should I do about my education,I need those as thr can help me in th future. My love life is boring, keep on falling in love with girls who do not love me back I just wonder why. I'm just feeling tired of it, I ws thinkng to stop my feelings love life

In regards to your education you need to figure out what your own priorities are and what's most realistically important to you. That decision is entirely yours to make by weighing the real pros and cons in the long run of things.

As for your love life, the girls you draw to you or are drawn to yourself can be based upon your own energy compositions and what you're resonating with. If you're dealing with a lot of negativity for instance or self-loathing and depression in your life or soul then you're going to feel drawn to these same negative energies of girls who will treat you badly or also have these negative energies in them as well which can ultimately in the end hurt you in an abusive relationship or they may just leave you.

Likewise if you are drawn to a girl with positive energies, your own aura of stresses and lack in confidence and negative energies from such may be psychically felt by them over time even if they know nothing of spirituality, it happens subconsciously as women are naturally susceptive to psychic energies simply for their natural caterings to feminine aspects which has to do with the upper psychic chakras. And upon gradually sensing and realizing subconsciously the negative energies in your soul like this they will start to feel repelled by you and may end up dumping you.

This is why you need to work on other priorities at the moment first such as a change of job to help get yourself happier first so you can then better work on cleaning your soul and getting rid of negativity in your life such as stress and depression. Once you're happier with less stresses, you can more easily cleanse your soul and aura in time with white-gold energy and build a positive vibe to yourself. This will not only draw more positive partners for you in your life but you'll also be better able to tell intuitively who the bad ones are and which ones to avoid.

So I would suggest starting on the change of job first and getting yourself to a happier lifestyle first and foremost, and then afterwords you can start to work on your love life and attracting good partners in time. Think of it all as a work in progress right now, you're going to get there but you need to take some prerequisite steps to making things better for yourself. You could start updating your resume as a starter, and remember what I said especially about Volac, he could help you if he agrees to making a deal with you but you must make effort on your part.

You clearly don't want to be stuck in this purgatory forever, well you don't have to be and you're not chained to it, take those steps needed for change.
. Thank you, it helps alot.
 
My fellow hie....i also came accross this issue especially those days after dedication ritual....no money ..no friends .....even girlfriend...u knoe i was not able to buy even a single candle buh this time just dispeared .....i think its a test from our lord to test ur patience man...dnt wrry ...hes in control ..he will never leave u....just hve hope and work extra hard.....u knoe if i get to relqx wth other pple . They start disappearing saying hm.m we are afraid of u ......why is tht so ....you are now on a diff level as compared to em....kp it up....now im enjoying life ..work hard...do summoning.....pliz try to do void everyday......n read texts like frabato they will help u ...i thank you
 

Al Jilwah: Chapter IV

"It is my desire that all my followers unite in a bond of unity, lest those who are without prevail against them." - Satan

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