Saudações! Tenho 18 anos, sou pactuado desde os 17 mas pratico desde os 14 meditação de poder. Tenho passado por momentos difíceis como a morte da minha mãe *pacto de cura não aceito* (meu maior amor), morte do meu avô (um pai pra mim, já que não tenho o meu), morte do meu gato, enfim, tive muitas perdas. Muita coisa não bate com o que é pregado, mas continuo firme na relação com Lúcifer e os deuses. Continuo me sentindo perdido e sem amparo espiritual. Mas me dedico a isso a muito tempo, só quero dar um tempo e me conhecer novamente. Consigo apenas fazer a aura de proteção e estou retomando aos poucos a meditação de esvaziar a mente. Nunca me senti parte de nada religiosamente falando, e isso me deixa muito agoniado.

Maybe there's something you are doing improperly in the way you conduct your spiritual activities. Can you explain how you do things, starting from how you do breathing exercises (if you do them), how you breath in energy for your aura of protection, how you chant mantras? Some people keep perpetuating the same beginner mistakes at all times, then they complain that they (of course) obtain little to no result, and thus your life doesn't seem to be getting any better. That's the reason I'm asking.

NB: This is an international forum, so you should write in English, even through the help of a translator. If you want to write in Portuguese, head to the Portugues sub-forum: https://www.ancient-forums.com/viewforum.php?f=9 I'll quote someone who speaks your language and thus can help you.

Egon said:

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I’m sorry for the inconvenience! I’m made a few mistakes with covenant using a pendulum, I’m progride mentally and use forces of elements to create a energy to use them. I breath deeply and easily go into a trance. Work in my spirit, I imagine a light and breath bringing her all over my body. Make the chakras spinning up until illuminated all them with this light. I fell so many energies, but since my mom get sick my focus changed. I risk a covenant (even not being experient) and this not work and saw my mother die of cancer! I disagree of many stuffs because I’m gay, vegan, biracial, and have relationship with a black guy. I believe in the individuality inside Satanism (of think, of being). I don’t think that everything (vegan stuff for example) is a bad thing or come from judaism. I’m really sad! I don’t belong to any race specific, I care and love animals so much and I’m not will change this if I don’t want to. *chant is a bad thing to evoke god’s energy?*
Thank you, sorry for my English. Blessed be!

Vegetarianism and Veganism weaken your sacral chakra, your sexual energy and thus your kundalini. You should read this sermon: https://www.ancient-forums.com/viewtopic.php?f=24&t=23897 Maybe ask on the Portuguese forum if they have a translation for you.

https://satanslibrary.org/666BlackSun/Joy_of_Satan_2010_Sermons.pdf

https://ancient-forums.com/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=52958&hilit=Pink+triangle

https://ancient-forums.com/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=59142&p=260407#p260407

https://ancient-forums.com/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=18382&p=72659&hilit

Nanel169 said:

I’m sorry for the inconvenience! I’m made a few mistakes with covenant using a pendulum, I’m progride mentally and use forces of elements to create a energy to use them. I breath deeply and easily go into a trance. Work in my spirit, I imagine a light and breath bringing her all over my body. Make the chakras spinning up until illuminated all them with this light. I fell so many energies, but since my mom get sick my focus changed. I risk a covenant (even not being experient) and this not work and saw my mother die of cancer! I disagree of many stuffs because I’m gay, vegan, biracial, and have relationship with a black guy. I believe in the individuality inside Satanism (of think, of being). I don’t think that everything (vegan stuff for example) is a bad thing or come from judaism. I’m really sad! I don’t belong to any race specific, I care and love animals so much and I’m not will change this if I don’t want to. *chant is a bad thing to evoke god’s energy?*
Thank you, sorry for my English. Blessed be!

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Veganism creates problems for the body since it eliminates from one's diet foods that are indispensable for us and that we have eaten for as long as we exist, given that the human being has always been omnivorous, and these problems are then also downloaded on the soul.
Amorous or sexual relationships with people of different races also create major problems in the soul, as well as being a danger for the survival of the three main races (white, black and Asian)
Take animals as examples.
Animals in the wild do not mix with other breeds, a grizzly bear will have sex with another grizzly bear, a pigeon will have sex with another pigeon, and so on.
Only in cases where animals are kept in conditions of prolonged sexual abstinence, for example dogs, do they mix with other breeds.
If you were born of an interracial relationship, I need to find you a love / sexual partner who has a race genes percentage equal to yours.
If you are half white and half black, it's a little easier because just looking at the skin color, if you have all 3 races it gets a little more complicated.
However upon reaching the Magnum Opus your main race will emerge.
But if you continue with these habits you will always have problems with meditation and spirituality.