If you read my topic I thank you for your attention.
A part of me wants to focus on Spiritual Satanism but the other part is destroyed by my parents who have no respect for our family and me.They do anything they want without giving a shit about what happens to me.
They are so selfish and they have fucked me up so much that I have to take anti depression and anti anxiety pills at such a young age.
It makes me feel worthless and I feel like Gods would never want someone like me by their side.I feel like Im too fucked up to be fixed or accepted by them.Like they would never love me or want me.I feel like I have been sucked dry by my life and there is nothing left in me.
Everytime I want to do my meditations or think about Gods this comes to my mind

AskSatanOperator said:

If you read my topic I thank you for your attention.
A part of me wants to focus on Spiritual Satanism but the other part is destroyed by my parents who have no respect for our family and me.They do anything they want without giving a shit about what happens to me.
They are so selfish and they have fucked me up so much that I have to take anti depression and anti anxiety pills at such a young age.
It makes me feel worthless and I feel like Gods would never want someone like me by their side.I feel like Im too fucked up to be fixed or accepted by them.Like they would never love me or want me.I feel like I have been sucked dry by my life and there is nothing left in me.
Everytime I want to do my meditations or think about Gods this comes to my mind

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The Gods don't look at us like we're damaged goods or not worth their time. If that were the case many of us wouldn't be here on this path.

They know and they understand our traumas and our struggles. They will help you when you are serious and want to help yourself but you'll have to be open and willing to receive the help and use it to create positive changes for yourself.

Childhood trauma is difficult because it's more engrained in us but that doesn't mean it's impossible to heal from. Don't give up hope, if you decide to pursue this path it's very rewarding, you will start to free your mind slowly of your struggles.

Take it from me, I've had many difficult childhood experiences but I'm here right now and I can honestly say ever since I truly stopped to dedicate myself to this path, my life and overall mental health has changed positively and improved beyond what I could have ever expected.

But it takes time, go into it knowing this. Like with any process change isn't instant, you have to work it up and everyone advances by their own speed at their own levels

I hope you stick around with us and decide to stay. Remember that no matter what you've gone through, Father Satan would never ignore you or turn you away. If you truly are serious and want his help and wish to be a student of the Gods they will help you and guide you there.

Study What is written on Joy of Satan
If you haven't dedicated I'd definitely start there when you are ready. And then Make sure once you have, that you start working on Aura of protection and returning curses. This will free you up and keep you safe from mental attacks from the enemy as you start healing.

Good luck!

You can start doing magic work to heal from traumas:

Academic Scholar said:

Emotional Healing Working by Lydia

START: Waning moon in Scorpio, Cancer or Pisces. Never start this working during the void of course moon.

1. Raise your energies: https://archive.fo/nLuwC
2. Vibrate WUNJO (or it’s variations such as VIN) 40 times or 88 times.
3. Affirm 9 times:
“In a positive and healthy manner for me, the energies of [WUNJO or variation of] are totally and completely healing me from any and all psychological, mental and emotional damage and pain forever.”

Do this for 40 days, 80 days or 90 days.

How to pronounce WUNJO and it’s variations: https://mega.nz/#!9Ag1VRLb!1pjN3bkQJVT8RxwaX2rZUmVzTUmHndNUFVMXFwUQwws

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Also, remember that the Gods are always with you and want to support you. The Gods love you and they are your family and they worry about you. If you have any problems or doubts then you can always ask Satan for help or add a question on the forum - surely someone will want to advise you on something.
You have to fight and move on. Overcome your past and obstacles, because it's really worth it.

Good luck and stay positive!