First of all, I apologize for my English usage. I started four years ago. I gave my soul and confirmed it with my blood oath. But when I start meditation, I feel different pains, what should I do? And also I feel a certain feeling, for example, the feeling of isolation, the feeling of hating even my closest relatives, and the feeling of killing people,

How can I know if I can't find guardian demons?

please share your experience regarding the use of time.
Hail satan
Hail satan

All those who begin to meditate have experienced this. Initially all negative or repressed feelings come to the surface. Anxiety, negative thoughts and anger are the most common. You have to deprogram yourself, get rid of the negative influences and curses you have received for centuries and centuries.

Try to maintain the mental void when this feelings come to your mind and keep going with the meditations.