Darkfire666999
New member
- Joined
- Jun 9, 2023
- Messages
- 5
Hello everyone.
I posted this text in another topic but I didn't get any answers (yet) so I am posting it here aswell, hoping to get some advices.
I was trying to make a new topic about my issue. There's a lot to say and my account is new to this forum although I've been on JoS for 3 years but... there we go.
I used to be apart of a satanic community back in 2019. That's how I met satanism and its branches. My best friend introduced me to JoS, so I found out which branch was truly real. I reached to the point where I was the owner of that community on discord, it had over 11k members. I used to do sermons about spiritual satanism and I felt amazing knowing that I was guiding people towards this path. I felt amazing knowing that I was doing this to awaken them and for the Gods. Many were not agreeing with what I was doing, when they heard that this religion supports "nazi" they were warning me that it's not okay to do it, but they never understood the truth.
Anyways, moving forward. I was afraid at first to do my dedication, although I knew what I wanted from life: I wanted to be with Satan and the Gods and follow his path. It's just that I didn't know what I would experience on my skin, but I wanted so bad at the same time to join the Hell's Army. I wanted to do it the night before my birthday, but I did it right after with my bestie. Both of us did the dedication in a local forest in our small town where we lived. And there the paranormal things started. Both of us has seen in that forest while doing meditations some kind of greys behind the trees watching us. She was more open and she use to hear Satan's voice. He warned us to rush to leave that forest. I felt a strong courage out of nowhere and went after them, and I saw them running with... the speed of light. Then we left the forest and while walking on the train track.. a train appeared behind of us out of nowhere and we ran scared. We believed that train was something made by those 2 ugly faces.
And many more happened. We were about to die once while she was driving, and she panicked and couldn't do anything anymore. He came and saved us and controlled her to manage to stop the car. Then He told her to be more careful. I felt that day a shaking energy in my body. I felt Him.
Anyways we went through many experiences. Now let's move forward to my problem.
I started doing power meditations after I dedicated. I used candles, incense, etc. I wanted it to be a lovely enviroinment and also used some celtic music. After a few days while doing the meditations I sensed a presence, a strong energy which was buzzing my entire body, and was moving me and parts of my body. It was a cold energy and it was such an unique and amazing experience. I believe that was one of the Gods. They used to stay with me for hours after my meditations, and we had our own method to talk... through a finger. If the answer was yes, they would lift up my finger. If no, then no. And each that they'd have to leave they would lift my finger and show me to turn off the candles.
One night I even started to hear a voice, after a week of meditation. It was a feminine voice. She told me I was beautiful and I was so shocked. I always wanted to hear the Gods so bad. And it just happened out of nowhere. But later, during the following days... I heard voices which manipulated me and terrorized me to the point when I was about to kill myself. They took me away from the satanic path, I couldn't focus on life anymore, I was ruined, sad, depressed, crying all the time. They were negative and I was so foolish, it took me a while to realise they weren't the Gods. I asked my parents to help so they put me in a pshychiatric hospital for weeks. They gave me a pshycotic treatment and later I was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia. But the treatment never helped, I was still hearing them but not at the same intensity.
I also had many dreams during my period when I used to do meditations. And lucid dreams. Angels and Jewsus used to appear in my dreams, being so "warm" and asking me to join them. No way I would've done that, I told them I was loyal to Satan no matter what. Also I left my body in my sleep multiple times, I was above it and saw some terrible umanoids beside my body. Waiting. But.. waiting for what?
This entire issue made me so desperate. So desperate that I left this path for a while. I tried to do banishing rituals, ask for help from my other real life friends satanists, I tried what I could, even to contact Satan to help me get rid of them, but... nothing happened. I've been stuck with them for years and I still am, even today. I was so desperate to escape this terror and nightmare so I did bad things. I left satanism to look for answers in another places. I even joined the damn angels for a while, or the regressive hipnosis beliefs by Malanga. I must admit that my family also influenced me into this. But each time I did, I found my way back to satanism. Anything I did, something dragged me back here. And I am grateful for that.
6 months ago I met my boyfriend. He hears bad voices too but sometimes, not all the time like I do. I still hear them after so many years. He also used to hear Satan, giving him advices. Same about my bestie whom I spoke about earlier.
I felt like introducing him to spiritual satanism and lead him to do the dedication. So I did. All 3 of us gathered on a sunday night and we assisted him with doing the ritual. And he did it. I felt like organizing the entire event. I felt this strongly for a while until I did it.
Recently I came back from Malanga's beliefs, it didn't last long to stay there though. Satan told both of them before that he didn't accept me, even when I dedicated in the beginning. But later he told him that he would accept me. I believe that's the reason I was and still am under attack by those scums. They could even control my heartbeats, make parts of my body hurt, or even make me feel things in my body which weren't real.
I wanted to write my story here for so many years, but for some reason I never did it. Now here comes my questions.
1. After all I did...would Satan accept me back? Would he forgive me? I know I have to prove that I am worthy of his forgiveness. I started to do the 40 meditation program again. But on the other side I am afraid I'll be attacked worse or even killed by those scumbags. I believe I was never actually protected and I did the dedication twice to make sure I did it properly. Yeah, I know I was stupid for doing it the 2nd time.
Last time He told my boyfriend that my dedication is cancelled and that we lost him. I don't know what to believe...
2. How do I finish them already? It's been 3 years since they made my life a terrible place. I use to feel bad stuff at heart chakra. I use to have some kind of pression in my brain. And I hear their bad voices telling me horrible stuff and insulting me all the time. There are 2 voices although I've seen more of them during my lucid dreams attacks. Recently they dragged me out of bed during my sleep, and I heard strange voices and seen how ugly they are.
Thank you everyone. And I hope to get some help and hear some answers soon. I truly want to follow this path but these circumstances always pushed me away and distracted myself from my true purpose, which was to be on Satan's side and follow him.
I posted this text in another topic but I didn't get any answers (yet) so I am posting it here aswell, hoping to get some advices.
I was trying to make a new topic about my issue. There's a lot to say and my account is new to this forum although I've been on JoS for 3 years but... there we go.
I used to be apart of a satanic community back in 2019. That's how I met satanism and its branches. My best friend introduced me to JoS, so I found out which branch was truly real. I reached to the point where I was the owner of that community on discord, it had over 11k members. I used to do sermons about spiritual satanism and I felt amazing knowing that I was guiding people towards this path. I felt amazing knowing that I was doing this to awaken them and for the Gods. Many were not agreeing with what I was doing, when they heard that this religion supports "nazi" they were warning me that it's not okay to do it, but they never understood the truth.
Anyways, moving forward. I was afraid at first to do my dedication, although I knew what I wanted from life: I wanted to be with Satan and the Gods and follow his path. It's just that I didn't know what I would experience on my skin, but I wanted so bad at the same time to join the Hell's Army. I wanted to do it the night before my birthday, but I did it right after with my bestie. Both of us did the dedication in a local forest in our small town where we lived. And there the paranormal things started. Both of us has seen in that forest while doing meditations some kind of greys behind the trees watching us. She was more open and she use to hear Satan's voice. He warned us to rush to leave that forest. I felt a strong courage out of nowhere and went after them, and I saw them running with... the speed of light. Then we left the forest and while walking on the train track.. a train appeared behind of us out of nowhere and we ran scared. We believed that train was something made by those 2 ugly faces.
And many more happened. We were about to die once while she was driving, and she panicked and couldn't do anything anymore. He came and saved us and controlled her to manage to stop the car. Then He told her to be more careful. I felt that day a shaking energy in my body. I felt Him.
Anyways we went through many experiences. Now let's move forward to my problem.
I started doing power meditations after I dedicated. I used candles, incense, etc. I wanted it to be a lovely enviroinment and also used some celtic music. After a few days while doing the meditations I sensed a presence, a strong energy which was buzzing my entire body, and was moving me and parts of my body. It was a cold energy and it was such an unique and amazing experience. I believe that was one of the Gods. They used to stay with me for hours after my meditations, and we had our own method to talk... through a finger. If the answer was yes, they would lift up my finger. If no, then no. And each that they'd have to leave they would lift my finger and show me to turn off the candles.
One night I even started to hear a voice, after a week of meditation. It was a feminine voice. She told me I was beautiful and I was so shocked. I always wanted to hear the Gods so bad. And it just happened out of nowhere. But later, during the following days... I heard voices which manipulated me and terrorized me to the point when I was about to kill myself. They took me away from the satanic path, I couldn't focus on life anymore, I was ruined, sad, depressed, crying all the time. They were negative and I was so foolish, it took me a while to realise they weren't the Gods. I asked my parents to help so they put me in a pshychiatric hospital for weeks. They gave me a pshycotic treatment and later I was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia. But the treatment never helped, I was still hearing them but not at the same intensity.
I also had many dreams during my period when I used to do meditations. And lucid dreams. Angels and Jewsus used to appear in my dreams, being so "warm" and asking me to join them. No way I would've done that, I told them I was loyal to Satan no matter what. Also I left my body in my sleep multiple times, I was above it and saw some terrible umanoids beside my body. Waiting. But.. waiting for what?
This entire issue made me so desperate. So desperate that I left this path for a while. I tried to do banishing rituals, ask for help from my other real life friends satanists, I tried what I could, even to contact Satan to help me get rid of them, but... nothing happened. I've been stuck with them for years and I still am, even today. I was so desperate to escape this terror and nightmare so I did bad things. I left satanism to look for answers in another places. I even joined the damn angels for a while, or the regressive hipnosis beliefs by Malanga. I must admit that my family also influenced me into this. But each time I did, I found my way back to satanism. Anything I did, something dragged me back here. And I am grateful for that.
6 months ago I met my boyfriend. He hears bad voices too but sometimes, not all the time like I do. I still hear them after so many years. He also used to hear Satan, giving him advices. Same about my bestie whom I spoke about earlier.
I felt like introducing him to spiritual satanism and lead him to do the dedication. So I did. All 3 of us gathered on a sunday night and we assisted him with doing the ritual. And he did it. I felt like organizing the entire event. I felt this strongly for a while until I did it.
Recently I came back from Malanga's beliefs, it didn't last long to stay there though. Satan told both of them before that he didn't accept me, even when I dedicated in the beginning. But later he told him that he would accept me. I believe that's the reason I was and still am under attack by those scums. They could even control my heartbeats, make parts of my body hurt, or even make me feel things in my body which weren't real.
I wanted to write my story here for so many years, but for some reason I never did it. Now here comes my questions.
1. After all I did...would Satan accept me back? Would he forgive me? I know I have to prove that I am worthy of his forgiveness. I started to do the 40 meditation program again. But on the other side I am afraid I'll be attacked worse or even killed by those scumbags. I believe I was never actually protected and I did the dedication twice to make sure I did it properly. Yeah, I know I was stupid for doing it the 2nd time.
Last time He told my boyfriend that my dedication is cancelled and that we lost him. I don't know what to believe...
2. How do I finish them already? It's been 3 years since they made my life a terrible place. I use to feel bad stuff at heart chakra. I use to have some kind of pression in my brain. And I hear their bad voices telling me horrible stuff and insulting me all the time. There are 2 voices although I've seen more of them during my lucid dreams attacks. Recently they dragged me out of bed during my sleep, and I heard strange voices and seen how ugly they are.
Thank you everyone. And I hope to get some help and hear some answers soon. I truly want to follow this path but these circumstances always pushed me away and distracted myself from my true purpose, which was to be on Satan's side and follow him.
