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How to believe in yourself, when circumstances are doubtful?

Yagami Light

Active member
Joined
Sep 21, 2017
Messages
589
Location
Greece
Website
odysee.com
Hello.
I have decided to make a big change in my life, which entails many risks and uncertainty. I want, from the bottom of my heart, to look at everything in a positive light, and I intend to do many, many workings to make sure that this change will be for the best, with the best outcome and the best circumstances for me.

Insofar, only a handful of people know about this change (everyone in my circle will need to know, so they will learn about it, eventually), and insofar, I have been greatly discouraged.

I am having difficulty holding on to that enthusiasm and positivity, because everything really is uncertain, and there are many reasons (the experiences of many people) to show that what I intend to do may backfire. However, it all depends on people's patience, what they can put up with, and what their mindstate is, in general. If someone is always thinking of how rude people are, and then they keep meeting rude people, then whose fault is it?

But still, people's discouraging words make my heart skip a beat.
How can I handle not being affected by them?
 
Yagami Light said:
Hello.
I have decided to make a big change in my life, which entails many risks and uncertainty. I want, from the bottom of my heart, to look at everything in a positive light, and I intend to do many, many workings to make sure that this change will be for the best, with the best outcome and the best circumstances for me.

Insofar, only a handful of people know about this change (everyone in my circle will need to know, so they will learn about it, eventually), and insofar, I have been greatly discouraged.

I am having difficulty holding on to that enthusiasm and positivity, because everything really is uncertain, and there are many reasons (the experiences of many people) to show that what I intend to do may backfire. However, it all depends on people's patience, what they can put up with, and what their mindstate is, in general. If someone is always thinking of how rude people are, and then they keep meeting rude people, then whose fault is it?

But still, people's discouraging words make my heart skip a beat.
How can I handle not being affected by them?
People will say things that detract from your decision for a variety of reasons. They might say it because they care about you and are worried about you. They could be envious. They could be wishing that they were doing something similar and pull you back to their level, out of resentment that you are trying to be better, or out of fear that they'll lose you or they'll be left behind.

But your personal life is your ship to sail. If they aren't riding on your boat and they aren't part of the crew then they have no say in what the captain does. You're not accountable to people on shore, because their lives don't depend on you.

It sounds like these are people that you care for. They will always matter to you. But understand that their perspective is their own and they don't see what you see.

You already committed to this decision in your mind and decided it was the best thing for you to do despite the risks. Now you have to see it through. People will not respect you if you buckle just like that, before you even leave port and encounter your first storm, and neither will you.

Try to alter how you percieve the negative feedback. You could interpret it in a way that you want to prove those people wrong, and that will give you determination. You can also interpret it in a way that you want to be an example of what can be done, and how good things can be, inspiring others.

What sort of change is this?
 
Are you doing this change for yourself, or to please others? Opinions are plenty around, but in any case they hardly propel you forward. Steel your mind and keep your goals in mind and continously work toward them. Time after time. Us here can act as an online support group. If you can, find other people who have similar goals or similar mindset to surround you in real life to act as another support group. Other than that you need to learn that not every opinion is worth listening to.
 
There is also another aspect here: lying.

Are you wanting and truly wanting this and truly capable of this?

For example if you do XYZ but your routine is ABC. Does the act of changing or improving mean your lying to yourself.

Like many people say who am I kidding?

Are you trying to kid yourself and in essence fall into a lie. Or alternatively you DO change and improve and go through the rough patches. But it's not only what you not wanted to do but the more you experience the more you realize your living in a false reality.

I know people are different and can handle things. But some people do changes and they want to go back. Or they do something and it's like "OMG what do I do know?!" while holding their head in their hands.

Is this a business or job or career or a lifestyle difference. Are you wanting to go to the gym and change or wanting to do an activity that is different from your routine. Or even outright different than your own World-view.

For example people want to make money but many people realize to make money either you gotta enslave yourself or if your real good and lucky you gotta rob money in legal manner i.e. gambling or the other gambling stocks and crypto. In essence people discover more and more making money is simply to make money for the sake of having money.

I don't know what your parameters are but the most important question is: Are you lying to yourself? And if not are you able to accomplish or bring to completion day-by-day and period of time per period of time. The activity or action you wish to accomplish?
 

Al Jilwah: Chapter IV

"It is my desire that all my followers unite in a bond of unity, lest those who are without prevail against them." - Satan

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